


Pining

by Pandora54321



Series: Building Our New Home Together [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I’m excited for this one, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, So be excited for that, saerans gonna masturbate to Saeyoung in a dress, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2019-10-23 16:01:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 39,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17686598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandora54321/pseuds/Pandora54321
Summary: Now that the twin’s have reconciled, they need to learn how to be together again. Saeran has to learn to forgive his brother, and Saeyoung has to learn to forgive himself. They’ll try their best to grapple with the demons of their past together.But what will they do when they realize their feelings for one another go deeper than just brothers?





	1. I’ll Always Love You

“Saeran, you’re breakfast is ready!” Saeyoung stood outside his brother’s doorway, bouncing on his heels, until the door opened. 

“I’ll eat it at the table today.” He informed his brother, still standing in his pajamas.

His brother stared at him in surprise. “Oh, that’s fine. I can just eat in the kitchen.” 

“I never said you had to do that.” 

_Bathump_. Saeyoung’s heart danced to a trifling rhythm, waltzing all around his chest. ‘Is he really saying that we can eat together?!’ “A-Ah…!” Saeyoung was frozen in silence until he realized his brother was looking at him funny. “I-I mean yeah! Okay! I’ll put your food at the table! Just come out when you’re ready!” 

He walked to the table mechanically and set down the plate, exhaling loudly. He then jumped up and pumped his fists in the air, dancing and squealing. He was so excited to have a real family meal with his brother. 

He set the table and sat in his seat, not daring to touch his own food until his brother had come. Finally, his brother walked into the dining room. 

“Saeran!” Saeyoung called excitedly. 

Saeran flushed. His brother was making such a big deal out of nothing. “Good morning.” 

“Good morning!” Saeyoung chirped in reply. 

Saeran sat down and they began eating. 

The meal was, for the most part, silent. Saeran kept to himself and ate while Saeyoung stared at him from across the table with wide, lovestruck eyes (and took a bite whenever his brother looked up). 

When Saeran had finished his food (Saeyoung’s only half-eaten since he was busy staring), he spoke. “Is your throat feeling better?” Saeran hadn’t had the nerve to ask these past two weeks but noticed that the bruises had finally disappeared. 

“Ah, yeah! My throats all better now, thanks for worrying!” Saeyoung replied. ‘So please don’t make that sad face…’ Saeyoung added in his head. 

“That’s good. I’m glad.” 

When Saeran finally finished he receded back to his room. 

Saeyoung hopped onto the messenger. MC and Yoosung were on. 

[707 has joined the chat] 

Yoosung: Hi Seven!

707: OMG 

707: MC

707: YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED. 

MC: Omg what what?? 

Yoosung: Seven? I said hi?

707: RAY HAD BREAKFAST WITH ME!

MC: OMG??!!

MC: Tell me everything!

707: Okay I’ll start from the beginning. 

707: I went to Ray’s room to bring him breakfast. 

707: And I said “Ray, you’re breakfast is ready!” 

Yoosung: Are you just going to ignore me???

MC: Hush Yoosung he’s telling a story!

707: And he opened the door. 

707: And told me “I’ll eat it at the table today.” 

707: And I was glad he wanted to be out of his room.

707: But I thought that meant I couldn’t be at the table today. 

707: So I said “Oh that’s fine. I can just eat in the kitchen. 

707: But guess what he said next!

MC: What? What??

707: He said “I never said you had to do that.” 

MC: OMG. 

Yoosung: What are you so excited over?

Yoosung: This doesn’t seem special at all?

707: Yoosung hush. 

707 Okay so I thought my heart was gonna beat right out of my chest. 

707: I could’ve died happy right then and there. 

MC: Then what? 

707: We ate together!!!

MC: Ahhh!!

707: I know right?? I’m so happy!

Yoosung: Why are you two so excited?

MC: What’d you two talk about?

707: We didn’t talk much. 

707: But he asked me if my throat was feeling better. 

Yoosung: What happened to your throat?

707: **I had a sore throat for a while.**

707: Nothing much. 

MC: It’s so sweet that he was worrying about you! 

707: IKR? I was so happy!

707: Isn’t he just the most wonderful and amazing human being ever…!

(707 love emoji) 

707: Ah. 

707: I’m in bliss. 

MC: Lolol you’re so cute. 

(707 love emoji) 

MC: I’m seriously happy for you though. 

MC: Just remember I’m your #1 supporter! 

(MC cheering emoji) 

MC: **Which is why I should be your best friend!**

MC: Because I support you and your brother! 

This has become a running gag between Saeyoung and MC to troll Yoosung. 

Yoosung: No! 

707: Hm!

707: Your logic seems sound!

Yoosung: Seven no!! 

Yoosung: You can’t just get a new best friend!

707: A new one? I had one to begin with??

Yoosung: Seven!!!

707: Anyway

707: I should go 

MC: Bye Seven! 

Yoosung: Seven wait! 

707: Bye MC! Bye Yoosung!

[707 has left the chat] 

Saeyoung giggled as he exited the messenger. MC was really fun to be around, and he was happy to have her support in all of this. He never failed to have a good time when he was chatting with her. And she always helped him tease Yoosung, too. 

It occurred to him that, in another world, she might’ve been a girl he could really fall for. But he brushed it from his mind soon after. He had his brother and that’s all he needed to survive. 

He sat on the couch, smiling and giggling as he thought back to this morning, for a little while longer. 

—-

Not long before 9pm, Saeran approached Saeyoung, who was busy with his work in his hacking room. 

“Hyung.” 

Saeyoung looked at him, surprised at being visited so abruptly. “Saeran! Did you need something?” 

“I wanted to ask you something.” Saeran wasn’t able to look his brother directly in the eyes. 

“Sure, anything.” Saeyoung answered. 

Saeran paused. “Did it hurt a lot?” 

Saeyoung stared at him in confusion. 

“Your neck, I mean.” 

It occurred to Saeyoung that his brother was asking about the bruises. “Not that much. It was a bit sore for a while and the bruises were slightly tender, but overall it was fine.” 

“No not that.” Saeran paused again. “I mean when I was choking you…did it hurt? Were you afraid?” 

It was Saeyoung’s turn to pause. “No. I was more surprised than anything.” He stopped a minute to think. “And I was afraid…but only of you hurting yourself after I was gone. I was scared that you’d really kill yourself and I wouldn’t be there to stop you.” He finished. 

Saeran let his words sink in. “Aren’t you afraid to die?” 

“Yes. Because I won’t be able to protect you when I’m dead.” Saeyoung answered. 

“I don’t understand you. Why can’t you just understand that I hate you? Why do you still try to be close to me?” 

“Because I love you.” Saeyoung gave him a wide smile. “Even if you hate me, even if you hurt me, even if you kill me—I’ll always want to be with you.” 

Saeran stopped. He nodded his head that he understood then went back to his room. 

He wanted desperately to test those limits. Saeran had accepted that he didn’t want his brother to leave him, but wanted to know just how much he could push until his brother broke. 

He knew it wasn’t healthy by any means, but just couldn’t get the thought out of his head. 

‘He’d endure all that to be with me…?’ 

It made his heart flutter.


	2. Hair Dye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran dyes his hair.

“My roots are growing out…” Saeran stared at himself in the mirror. He twirled a lock of hair around to get a better look. 

It had been about two months since Saeyoung rescued him, just about enough time for an inch of red to stand against the white of his bleached hair. 

‘It was always such a hassle to bleach the roots all the time while I was in Mint Eye…’ He thought to himself. Although he had liked Mint Eye and wanted to protect it, the dress code there was pretty strict and it was always a lot of work.

‘Maybe I should just dye it back.’ He’d already accepted that he wanted to be with his brother. He was still angry and apprehensive to be in his brother’s company, but could tell he was attached. There wasn’t any harm in looking like him anymore, right? 

“I’ll go ask hyung.” Saeran left his room and searched for his brother. 

He found Saeyoung in the living room folding laundry while watching Game of Kings. 

Saeyoung paused the television once Saeran approached. “Saeran! Did you need something?” 

“My roots are growing out.” Saeran stated. 

“Oh, did you want me to buy you some more hair bleach?” Saeyoung asked. 

“No, it’s too much work to bleach it every time it grows out. I think I want to just dye it back.” 

Saeyoung froze. Saeran had said before that he wished he could carve out every feature that looked like Saeyoung once while trying to get his brother to leave him alone. “You…you’re okay with looking like me again?”

Saeran colored a bit. He shrugged and looked away. 

“Really?! I’ll buy you some hair dye first thing tomorrow! No never mind, I’ll go buy it right now!” Saeyoung sprang off the couch, tossing the shirt he was folding into the air. He ran to grab his keys. 

“Hyung! You really don’t have to!” 

“I’ll go to as many stores as possible to find you a perfect match to our color!” Saeyoung bolted past his brother and out of the door. “I’ll be back soon!”

Saeran was left standing in the middle of the living room. ‘He always makes such a big deal out of nothing.’ He blushed. 

“Where’d Zero Seven go in such a hurry?” Vanderwood came out of the kitchen. 

“He went to the store to buy me hair dye.” Saeran explained. 

“What color are you going with?” 

“My natural color.” 

“Woah.” Vanderwood put his hands on his hips. “What happened wanting to carve out every feature that looks like your brother.” 

“Sh-Shut up.” Saeran crossed his arms. “I just don’t want to deal with dying my hair all the time.”

“Alright.” Vanderwood shrugged and went back to the kitchen. 

—-

Saeyoung ran back into the house. “I brought the dye!” He yelled. 

But brother wasn’t in the living room anymore. Saeyoung threw open Saeran’s room door.” 

“Woah—! Knock first!” Saeran yelled. 

“Sorry! I brought the dye!” He rushed inside to hand it to his brother. “I had to go to three stores to find the perfect match.” He was slightly breathless from running around everywhere. 

He stood in Saeran’s room, expectantly.

“Why are you still here?” Saeran asked, slightly annoyed. 

“Aren’t you going to start?” 

“Right now?!” 

“Ehhh—“ Saeyoung whined. “But I rushed out thinking you’d do it immediately.” 

_“Tch_. Fine I’ll do it now, just leave.” Saeran ordered. 

“Okay, I’ll wait in the living room!” 

“It’ll take a couple hours, you know!” 

“I can wait!” Saeyoung respondes and shut the door. 

Saeran sighed. 

—-

Saeyoung waited for hours on the couch. He finally hopped onto the messenger to fill in the time. MC and Zen were on. 

[707 has entered the chat] 

707: MC!!!!

MC: Omg what?

Zen: No hi for me?

707: Oh my god you won’t believe what’s happening right now. 

MC: What? What?!!

707: Ray is dying his hair!!!

MC: OMG?!

(Zen confused emoji)

Zen: What’s so special about that?

707: He one time said to me:

707: “I want to carve out every feature on me that looks like you!” 

707: And since we’re identical twins, that’s a lot of features. 

707: And I felt so sad. 

(Seven cry emoji)

Zen: Woah, that’s pretty harsh.

707: But now he’s dying his hair back! 

707: I went to three stores to find the perfect red with orange undertones! 

MC: I’m so happy for you. 

Zen: Me too, I guess. 

707: I’m happy too!

(707 love emoji) 

707: Ahhh I love him so much!!

Zen: It feels like every time Seven enters the chat it’s something about his brother ;;;

MC: Um because it is. 

707: I love my brother. 

Zen: **We know.**

MC: And it’s great!! 

MC: Seven seems much happier nowadays! 

Zen: He has been acting pretty different, huh? 

MC: The power of love!

(MC love emoji) 

(707 love emoji) 

707: OH!

707: I think he’s coming out! 

707: Bye guys!

MC: Bye!

[707 has left the chat] 

Saeyoung put down his phone and bounced on the couch cushion as Saeran opened the door. 

His hair was slightly damp from having recently showered, his face was slightly reddened as well. 

“I’m finished.” 

Saeyoung couldn’t suppress a squeal of pleasure. “You look amazing!” He cheered. 

“Don’t make such a big deal out of it!” Saeran scrunched up his face in annoyance. 

“Vanderwood come look!!” Saeyoung yelled. 

Vanderwood entered the living room. He whistled. “Wow. You two really look exactly alike.” 

“I’m so happy!” Saeyoung yelled out. 

_“Gah_! I-I’m going back to my room!” Saeran walked back into his room, embarrassed. 

Saeyoung was happy that whole day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh this chapter is a little short lol. But the next one will be p long to make up for it! 
> 
> I always watch Game of Thrones while folding laundry so that’s actually a reference to my own life lol. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. To Possess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mc and Saeyoung share a phone call. Saeyoung enjoys ice cream with his twin, then they have an emotional conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention that I would be posting these chapters in complete succession? Lol.

[707 has entered the chat] 

Jaehee Kang: Ah Luciel 

Jaehee Kang: MC was telling me about how different you’ve become now that you and your brother have reunited. 

MC: He’s become super diligent! 

707: It feels weird getting called that. 

MC: But it’s true!!

MC: It’s the power of l o v e~ 

(MC love emoji) 

Jaehee Kang: I’m honestly shocked. 

707: Well I don’t know what to say lol. 

707: Other than that I want to be a good brother. 

707: Haha…

MC: You are a good brother! I promise!

Jaehee Kang: I can't help but notice 

Jaehee Kang: You two have certainly gotten close. 

MC: Yeah! 

MC: **Which is why we should be besties!**

707: Lololol my mind suddenly thought of Yoosung. 

MC: Eh I wonder why >.- 

707: Anyway, MC

707: Is my #1 supporter! 

707: For me and my bro!

(707 love emoji) 

(MC cheering emoji) 

MC: Yup! 

MC: By the way Seven. 

MC: I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone but…

MC: Ray likes ice cream! 

707: Well I already knew that lol. 

MC: Just in case^^ 

707: Lolol thanks. 

707: Ugh I have to do laundry. 

707: I should go. 

Jaehee Kang: Love truly is a mysterious thing. 

(707 sigh emoji) 

707: Bye guys!

[707 has left the chat]

He put his phone down and began loading the washing machine. 

Ping!

Saeyoung received a direct message. 

MC: Wanna go to lunch again?

Saeyoung thought for a minute. Saeran had gotten really angry the last time he went out to lunch with MC, and he didn’t want to make him angry again or send the wrong message. 

707: Sorry, Ray didn’t like it last time we got lunch. 

707: So I don’t think I should go. 

He received a reply shortly thereafter. 

MC: Aww is Ray the possessive type? 

MC: I totally get it. 

MC: Wanna chat over the phone then?

He replied. 

707: Sure. 

{MC incoming call} 

He pressed the green answer button and put it on speaker. 

_“How’s my bestie doing?”_

MC and him were still playing that practical joke on Yoosung. Saeyoung snickered. 

“I’m doing better than ever now that my brother has forgiven me! Or, half-forgiven me, at least…he still says he hates me. But that’s understandable, I hate me, too!” Saeyoung said in a happy tone. 

MC giggled. _“You’re depressing humor is hilarious. I knew I’d like the real you!”_

“Haha thanks.” Saeyoung blushed. “So what did you want to chat about?” 

_“I was just thinking…I knew Ray while we were still at that place, and I know what mint-eye was like…did you want me to tell you about it? Like how your brother acted? To be honest, there were some things he said that I found pretty concerning…”_

“Sorry,” Saeyoung began, “as much as I want to know, it’d feel like cheating to get the information from someone else. I’d rather my brother tell me what happened on his own.” 

_“Alright. That’s sweet of you, you must have a lot of patience.”_

“It’s not patience, I just don’t want to do something to make him uncomfortable. Even though I’m worried out of my mind.” 

_“You’re trying to be respectful of his boundaries, I think it’s very patient.”_

“Think so?”

_“Yeah!”_ MC paused. _“That also means you’ll have to ask him upfront about his time there. Are you prepared for that?”_

Saeyoung laughed. “Nope.” 

_“Jeez, Seven! You’re going to need to ask him about it eventually!”_

“I know! I want to know about him and be close to him, I’m just a total coward…” Saeyoung trailed off. He added detergent to the washing machine. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to ask something so sensitive…” 

_“Hmmm…maybe you could do an information exchange?”_

“Eh?” Saeyoung poured in fabric softener. 

_“He’ll never want to open up to you if you’re all closed off. Tell him a little about your life and ask him a little about his.”_ MC explained. 

“But That means I’ll be telling him about the Agency! I don’t want him to know that stuff about me!” Saeyoung protested. 

_“But I thought you wanted to be close to him? You’ll have to open up eventually!”_

“No. Never. Out of the question. Agency is off limits. Ray doesn’t need to hear about dirty stuff like that.” He turned the washing machine on and left the laundry room. 

_“Alright, alright. Try asking in small quantities, then. Keep things light.”_

“Okay, that seems doable.” 

_“Don’t you think Ray will want to know about you, too?”_

“I’ll tell him anything he wants to know, as long as the things I say won’t make him hate me…” 

_“Saeyoung…he already hates you, you’ve got nothing to lose.” She added simply._

“That’s your comfort?!” 

_“I just don’t think he’d care about that type of stuff at this point…”_

“You don’t know what things the Agency has made me do!” He lowered his voice and entered his room. 

_“Have you killed anybody?”_

“No. I’ve always avoided that, at least.”

_“Then you’re fine.”_

“Dirty stuff, MC, dirty stuff! Actually, I shouldn’t even be telling you! Shit, I always overshare when I’m talking to you!” He facepalmed. 

MC giggled again. _“I’m glad you find me easy to talk to.”_

Saeyoung sighed. 

_“Anyway, try approaching him casually. Maybe, under the pretense of something else?”_ MC suggested. 

“Sounds good. I’ll think of something.” He thought for a moment. Something MC had said earlier was weighing on his mind. “Um, what was that you said earlier about Ray being the possessive type?” 

_“Eh?”_ MC sounded surprised. _“That’s the reason he got angry at you, right? He didn’t like you coming to see me?”_

“Yeah, he thought we were out on a date or something. He seemed pretty pissed about it, but I don’t know about _possessive_ …he hates me and never wants to be around me. It’s a little better now, but still.” 

_“Just because he pushes you away doesn’t mean he wants others to have you. You were taking care of him and giving him so much love and attention back then, I bet he didn’t like the idea of sharing or losing that to someone else.”_

“I don’t know. To be honest, I never really understood why he got so angry at me that day…isn’t it just because he didn’t want me to be happy?” 

_“I’m sure that’s some of it, but I think most of all he didn’t want to to leave him for someone else.”_

“There’s no one I want to be with more than him, though…” He sat on the edge of his bed. 

_“Then, tell him that! He needs to know._

All right. I definitely will.” He looked at the time. “I should get going, I’ve gotta go be a good housewife and do chores.” 

_“Lol housewife Seven, I can totally imagine you in an apron and yellow rubber gloves.” MC laughed._

“Yeah, yeah. Gotta go, bye!” 

_“Bye!”_

Click. 

—-

Saeran heard a knock on the door. 

“It’s me! I brought ice cream, I was wondering if you wanted to eat some with me.” Saeyoung called from through the door. 

Saeran paused a moment. Ice cream sounded nice. “Come in.” He responded. 

Saeyoung opened the door. He was holding two bowls of ice cream. “I didn’t know what you’d want, so I brought a mix. Mint chocolate chip, vanilla, and chocolate.” 

He handed Saeran a bowl. Saeran closed his laptop and took it. 

“I’m glad you’re using the laptop I bought you! It’s the latest model. I can show you all the cool features later, or you can just look them up yourself.” He took a scoop of ice cream into his mouth. “Ah, ice cream is so good!” 

Saeran followed suit and started on his own bowl. 

They are in silence for a while, just sharing each other’s company. To Saeyoung, it was bliss. To Saeran, it felt warm. 

Then, Saeyoung spoke. “MC asked me to go to lunch again earlier.” 

Saeran froze. 

Had Saeyoung left the house today? Once again not even telling him? He felt anger welling up inside him, but kept his cool. “You went out with her again?” 

“No—I turned her down.” 

Saeran let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“You got so angry last time, i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by doing it again.” Saeyoung explained. 

Saeran felt so relieved. He hated the idea of his brother being stolen away by some girl. 

“But Saeran…I just can’t wrap my head around it. Why did you get so angry that day?” Saeyoung gave him a confused and worried look. 

Saeran was perplexed, to say the least. He knew he hated the idea of his brother with someone else, but he never tried to think of why. 

He’d already accepted that he wanted his brother. Despite wishing he didn’t, he desperately wanted to keep his brother by his side. He felt like he couldn’t live without him anymore. 

But what was it he wanted from his brother?

‘I want…Saeyoung…’ He wanted him to not be close to other people. To only stay by his side and his side alone. 

He wanted to possess his brother. 

To own every fiber of his being. 

He wanted to keep Saeyoung locked up just for him alone. 

The thought of it made Saeran’s chest begin to feel tight, and deep in his gut he felt an ache. He couldn’t quite place the sensation. The comfortable warmth of Saeyoung’s proximity began to feel burning hot. He wanted something from his brother—to take something from his brother right then and there. 

But what? 

Saeyoung was only a few feet away from him. So close yet so far. He bit his lip. The heat began to feel uncomfortable. 

He took a shaky breath and replied. “I don’t…want you to be happy…away from me. I don’t want you to have someone you love.” 

“But I still don’t get it. You just don’t want me to be happy?” Saeyoung furrowed his brow. 

“I don’t like that you’re close to people! I hate that you’re close to MC, I hate that you’re close to Vanderwood, I hate that you’re close to V, I hate that you’re close to the whole RFA! I just hate it!” 

“But I don’t understand why! I just…What is it about me being close to others that bothers you?” 

“Because you want to be around me!” Saeran finally exclaimed. “If you want to be with me then you’re _mine_. Other people can’t have you! You’re _my_ brother.” 

Saeyoung let the words sink in. MC really was right, Saeran was being possessive of him. 

“So…you want me to belong to you?” The thought of it lit a fire inside Saeyoung. He took a shaky breath. 

It being put into such blatant words made Saeran flush. He nodded his head. 

Saeyoung’s face turned red. “A-ah…” He gulped. “Alright! I’ll…I’ll belong to you!” 

Saeran felt slightly confused. He was fully expecting his brother to feel repulsed or uncomfortable. “Just—just like that? You’ll belong to me?” 

“Of course! I—I want to be yours!” He proclaimed. 

Saeran just sat dumbfounded. “You really want to be mine?” 

Saeyoung paused. “It makes me happy that you want me…” He brought his hand to his chest. “My heart is really pounding right now. It makes me feel good that my precious brother wants me too.”

Saeran’s heart was also racing. “Okay…Then you’re mine. And no one else’s. Forever.” 

Saeyoung felt ecstatic inside. “Alright!” He paused. “But, I can still have friends right?” 

“Why do you want to belong to other people?!” Saeran yelled. 

“I don’t! The thought of submitting to anyone else makes me sick. I hated doing what mother said, I hate doing what the Agency says—I hate other people owning me. I listened to V with absolute obedience but I ended up regretting it.” He colored. “But if it’s you…then I don’t mind belonging to someone.” 

‘He’s really willing to be mine…? No one’s ever wanted to be mine…’ Saeran thought. 

“The RFA, MC, And V are all worthless compared to you. My love for you outweighs all of them. Comparing my love for them to my love for you is like comparing a puddle to the Mariana Trench.” He smiled at Saeran. “I’ll always be yours even if I have friends. You’re my other half. My one and only brother.” 

Saeran thought about it for a minute. As long as Saeyoung belonged to him alone then it should be fine to have friends. He’d be special and that’s what would matter most. 

Plus Saeyoung said he was going to leave all of them to run away with him. This…should be okay. 

“Alright. You’re allowed to have friends. As long as you’ll always be mine.” Saeran finally said. 

Saeyoung’s smile widened and he jumped up to hug his brother. 

“Hey!” Saeran yelped. 

“I’m yours, Saeran. I’m yours forever.” Saeyoung said into Saeran’s chest, effectively shutting Saeran up from yelling ‘get off’ like he was planning. 

They stayed like that until Saeyoung’s phone rang from a work call and he had to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung is super possessive too, he’ll just learn it in a later chapter. 
> 
> Honestly even I’m amazed that Saeyoung still thinks his feelings for his brother are brotherly ;;; he doesn’t really know what the normal amount to love your brother is. 
> 
> Also the sexual tension in this chapter is real lol. I hope I wrote it okay! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	4. Hard Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung has a hard conversation with his brother.

Saeyoung paced back and forth in his room. He’d just hacked into Rika’s prison psychiatric records, and didn’t like what he saw. Rika was more mentally unstable than he thought, and had some pretty big delusions. 

He’d also hacked into the police files on Mint Eye, and once again did not like the results. They were an organization that would force ‘salvation’ onto you, even if you resisted. 

Saeyoung was scared of what horrible things Rika could have done to his brother. 

He jumped on his phone and messaged MC. 

707: I’m gonna ask Ray about Mint Eye today. 

He received a reply. 

MC: Oh! Already? 

707: I read Rika’s psychiatric files and Mint Eye’s police reports. 

707: they weren’t pretty 

707: I’m really worried about Ray. 

MC: Oh no

MC: I hope everything’s alright. 

MC: Just be gentle and try not to be overbearing. 

707: Got it. I’m going in, wish me luck. 

MC: Good luck! 

Saeyoung put down his phone and took a deep breath. He knocked on his brother’s door. 

“Come in.” He heard from inside. 

Saeyoung opened the door, trying to relax so as not to alarm his twin. “Hey Saeran, whatcha doing?” He asked casually. 

“I’m researching countries in Europe.” Saeran answered. 

“Oh! Were you wanting to move to Europe?” Saeyoung’s mood lifted. He went to sit on the bed near his twin. 

“Yeah. I know a bit of English, I was thinking some place that uses the same alphabet would be easiest.” 

“I speak most European languages so I can probably teach you whatever language you decide on. European countries are generally peaceful, too. That’s a plus.” Saeyoung was hoping for a quiet, peaceful life with his brother. 

“Why’d you come into my room?” Saeran asked, slightly suspicious. 

“Oh, I just had a couple of questions…” Saeyoung answered awkwardly. 

Saeran waited for his brother to start. 

Saeyoung gulped. “Saeran, did…did Rika ever hurt you.” 

Saeran’s head started to hurt. He brought his hand to his temple. “O-Ow.” ‘The cleansing ceremony…’

“Are you alright?” Saeyoung asked, a worried expression on his face. 

“I’m fine.” Saeran became slightly agitated. “Savior saved me. Any pain I felt was for my sake.” 

“Saeran…” Saeyoung didn’t know how to respond to that. “People that care about you don’t try to hurt you.” 

“Savior taught me that sometimes pain and fear are necessary for someone’s well being.” 

“No, Saeran. Rika…was sick. I read the psychiatric reports that have been taken on her in prison. They said she had grandiose delusions of being a Savior and offering salvation.”

“She _was_ our Savior. She offered all of us Salvation from the pain and suffering of the outside world.” Saeran tried to explain. 

“Saeran…you sound like you’re saying something rehearsed.” Saeyoung paused. “There is no salvation from pain and suffering. What Rika offered was just drugs and isolation.” Saeyoung sighed. “It’s a coping mechanism. An unhealthy one at that. Some agents use things like drugs, alcohol, and sex as their coping mechanisms. But in the end it’s just temporary relief from pain that never tackles the underlying issue.” 

“The elixir was our medicine of salvation. Savior giving me the cleansing ceremony was all for my own benefit.” 

“Cleansing ceremony?” Saeyoung asked, puzzled. 

Saeran tensed. “It’s a ceremony to offer salvation to someone that doesn’t know they need it.” 

“That doesn’t want it.” Saeyoung concluded. “What happens in one of these ‘cleansing ceremonies?’” 

“People have their minds cleansed from the lies of the outside world. Then they’re shown Savior’s benevolent authority and learn to follow her instruction.”

“Saeran…that’s called brainwashing. During the Korean War, sometimes psychoactive drugs were used to brainwash prisoners of war. I think Rika was doing the same thing. She wanted to control you, Saeran.” He stopped and took a shaky breath. “She used you and your abilities like a tool.”

“She did not!” 

“She used you for the benefit of Mint Eye.” 

“She cared about me!” 

“I’m sure she did, but—“ 

“She was there for me when you weren’t!” Saeran yelled. 

Saeyoung flinched at those words. 

“She was the one who told me all about you abandoning me! She told me about you leaving me to go abroad!” 

“Rika was the one who told you those things? But—she was one of the people that helped me leave…” 

Saeran halted. ‘Savior helped take Saeyoung away?’ 

His mind drifted for a moment to the floppy disk. 

“Saeran the things she said don’t add up. She antagonized me to you, but on the messenger she said she still cared for me. She even had a room for me there, apparently. She was using your feelings of betrayal to control you.” 

“No…she wouldn’t.” Saeran’s eyes welled up with tears. “She wouldn’t betray me like that.” He hugged his knees. 

Saeyoung felt tears in his own eyes seeing his brother cry. He moved to wrap his arms around Saeran. 

“I’m sorry I left you in the care of such unreliable people.” Saeyoung cried. “This is all my fault.” He held onto Saeran like a lifeline, trembling slightly. 

“Vanderwood showed me a floppy disk with pictures of me on it. Did Sa…did Rika really give that to you?” Saeran asked. 

“Vanderwood showed you that…?” ‘Why did I never think to show that to Saeran?’ He nodded. “Yeah. She gave it to me for my 20th birthday.” 

Saeran held tighter onto his knees and sobbed. Rika had helped Saeyoung leave him, the floppy disk was evidence of that. 

They held each other for a while and cried. When their tears finally dried up, Saeyoung separated from his twin to speak.

“I know that you’re disappointed Rika couldn’t give you the paradise she promised…but that doesn’t mean we can’t have our own paradise. We can make a paradise called ‘home’, and be happy wherever we are.” Saeyoung smiled. “For me, paradise is wherever we’re together and safe. We can make that happen, Saeran. It won’t be perfect, and there will still be pain and hard times, but it can still be our paradise.” 

“You mean it?” Saeran looked up at his brother, with still teary eyes. 

“Of course! Let’s find our own happiness, Saeran.” Saeyoung wrapped his arms around his twin once again. 

“Alright.” 

They stayed like that for what seemed like eternity until Saeran broke the silence. “Could I be alone for a while? I want some time to think…” he asked. 

“Of course.” Saeyoung got off of the bed. “I’ll be in my room.” He walked out the door, giving Saeran some time to accept what he’d just heard. 

Saeyoung flopped onto his bed once he reached his room. He pulled out his phone to access the messenger. MC, Yoosung, And Jumin were on. 

[707 has entered the chat] 

MC: Seven!

Yoosung: Hi Seven!

Jumin Han: Hello Luciel. 

707: Jumin, good you’re on. 

707: I found another keyword for you for Rika’s police interrogations. 

707: ‘Cleansing ceremony’ 

707: It’s basically brainwashing from what I understand. 

MC: Oh no…

MC: She didn’t…to Ray did she? 

707: She did. 

707: Rika brainwashed my twin. 

707: God this whole situation sucks. 

Yoosung: Seven…

Jumin Han: I’ll be sure to inform the police. Thank you for the contribution. 

MC: It must’ve been a hard conversation to have with Ray. 

707: It was. 

707: But it was a productive one, at least. 

707: I finally managed to get through to him about Rika not being a Savior. 

707: I’m glad…

MC: I’m glad too. 

Yoosung: Nuna…I can't believe she’d brainwash Seven’s brother. 

Yoosung: I’m so sorry. 

707: There’s no need to apologize, Yoosung. 

Jumin Han: This is shocking news, indeed. 

MC: Is Ray okay? 

707: He’s…not happy. 

707: Being told that you were used as a tool by someone you trusted is a really hard thing to swallow. 

707: We’ve been used as tools before…it just doesn’t feel good. 

MC: What happened before? 

707: As kids…we were used as material for blackmail by our mother. 

707: It’s not something I really want to talk about. 

MC: Oh, Seven…

Yoosung: So you had a hard childhood, Seven? 

707: It isn’t something I ever wanted you all to know… 

707: I’ve always wanted you guys to only see my happy, fun side. 

Jumin Han: There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Luciel. 

MC: Jumin’s right. 

MC: It’s not something you could control. 

MC: Not that or what happened with Rika. 

707: I’ve just never wanted to burden others with my baggage. 

MC: It’s not a burden to us. 

Yoosung: Yeah! We support you! 

707: Thanks. 

707: I feel a bit better. 

707: From now on I won’t let anyone use me or my twin ever again. 

707: I’ll protect us on my own! 

MC: That’s the spirit! 

MC: But be careful 

MC: You’ll go crazy trying to take care of everything. 

707: That sounds like a problem for future me. 

707: But I’ll accept the warning. 

707: I think I’m going to go unsuccessfully try to sleep. 

707: Bye guys

MC: Bye!

Yoosung: Bye Seven! 

Jumin Han: Ciao. 

[707 has left the chat]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sooo sick rn ugh. But I wrote this! Hope y’all enjoy! 
> 
> Poor Saeran, he didn’t have Rika’s betrayal like in the secret ends in this fic so he’s still having trouble accepting she was bad. Plus…brainwashing is difficult to get rid of. But he’ll recover little by little. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran wakes up from a nightmare.

“This person betrayed you!” Rika yelled at him. 

“I could never hate my own brother!” Saeran yelled back. 

“Give him triple the dose.” She informed the believers who were holding him down. 

They shoved more elixir down his throat. 

“This person betrayed and abandoned you!” Rika shouted at him again. 

‘Saeyoung…where are you? Please save me!’

“Ahhh!!!” Saeran screamed as jolted upright in bed. He couldn’t breathe. He could still taste the elixir being shoved in his mouth. 

His door flew open. 

“Saeran!” 

Saeyoung bolted into the room and began to comfort Saeran. 

“Saeyoung! Where are you?!” Saeran screamed as tears fell from his eyes. 

“I’m right here!” Saeyoung wrapped his arms around his twin. “I’m right here!” 

Saeran was finally able to breathe again, with his twin’s arms wrapped around him. 

“Saeyoung?” He mumbled into his brother’s chest. 

“I’m right here…!” Saeyoung sounded like he was crying too. 

‘He’s really here now…’ Saeran thought to himself. 

“I’m right here okay, Saeran? I’m right here now, and I won’t leave you ever again.”

“You mean it?” 

“I promise.” 

They stayed like that, crying and shivering in each other’s arms, for a while longer. 

After some time, they finally calmed down. 

“Did you have a nightmare?” Saeyoung asked gently to his brother. 

Saeran nodded his head. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

Saeran choked up. “I was just remembering the cleansing ceremony. It took place for weeks, it hurt so much…” He sobbed a bit. 

“Saeran…I’m so sorry!” Saeyoung wrapped his arms around his brother. 

Saeran clutched onto him like a lifeline. 

“I’m sorry…for being so weak…” Saeran apologized. He’d woken his brother up from his screaming, he felt bad about disturbing Saeyoung’s sleep. 

“No! You’re not weak at all! You’re the strongest person I know…and it’s normal to have nightmares.” He hesitated. “I…I get them too.” He confessed. “You aren’t weak at all.” 

Saeran paused. He already knew this from when he’d eavesdropped on his brother and Vanderwood’s conversation. But he wasn’t quite ready to admit to being guilty yet. “You do?” He feigned ignorance. 

“Yeah! You…uh…actually woke me up from one just now…” 

Saeyoung was having another nightmare tonight? His dark circles had gotten much better so he’d assumed the nightmares had gotten better. 

“What was it about?” 

Saeyoung bit his lip. “Uhm…it was nothing, really.” He looked down. “Let’s go get some hot cocoa and relax for a while okay?” He said with a broad smile. 

‘Saeyoung is still trying to be strong around me…but I don’t want to be the weak one anymore. I want to be strong, too—I want to protect him, too.’ 

“I thought you said you belong to me…” Saeran grumbled. 

“I do! I do, I promise!” 

“Then let me protect you, too. You’re mine, so I have to be there for you.” He paused. “I already know you’ve been having nightmares. And about the men in black suits you’ve been dreaming about.” 

Saeyoung felt panic rise to his chest. “How do you know that?!” 

“I eavesdropped in on your conversation with Vanderwood. I heard everything you told him.” 

Saeyoung stared at him in shock. 

“But you…you don’t have to always be strong around me, hyung. I can be strong and dependable, too.” He looked up at his brother. “I promised myself a long time ago that if I ever lived to be an adult I’d protect you. So please…let me be there for you.” Saeran pleaded. 

Saeyoung was in tears. The child inside him felt elated to finally hear those words from his brother. He’d always been the one to bear the responsibility of protecting Saeran and escaping. That was why he was so happy to find someone like V whom he thought he could depend upon.

“You…really mean that? You want to protect me?” Saeyoung asked breathlessly. 

Saeran nodded his head. “So let me comfort you, too. Come here, maybe you won’t have nightmares if you sleep with me tonight.” He scooted over in bed to make space for his brother. 

Saeyoung sniffled and tried to fruitlessly wipe the tears from his eyes. ‘Had I always wanted Saeran to protect me back…?’ He wondered to himself. 

He climbed into bed next to his twin and cuddled up against Saeran’s chest. Saeran wrapped his arms around his brother protectively. 

“I was having a dream about mom. I was having a dream that she hurt you after I left. I’ve been having so many dreams about it…was it true that she deprived you of water for two whole days? Did she really beat you that horribly?” He buried his face into Saeran’s chest. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I never should have left, I regret it so much! I’m sorry!” He sobbed. 

Saeran had wanted to hear those words for so long, they made him feel validated. He stroked his hand through Saeyoung’s locks comfortingly. “It’s true.” He said solemnly. “But it’s not all your fault. V and Rika were the ones that convinced you to to leave. And it was Mother that hurt me, not you.” He soothed. 

“But still! It’s all my fault! I’m so sorry, Saeran!” 

Saeran held his brother against his chest. He tried rubbing soothing circles on Saeyoung’s back. 

Saeyoung looked up at his brother, gazing directly into his eyes. “I love you, Saeran. I love you more than anything in the world! You’re my one and only, the only person I could ever love this much in all the universe.” 

“I…” Had he really not said it yet? “I…I’m still angry at you…but I love you, too.” He admitted. 

Saeyoung sobbed harder into his chest. “Thank you…! Thank you so much!” He sniffled. “It makes me so happy to be yours, and to know that you want to protect me too! Thank you so much, you don’t know just how wonderful I feel right now.” 

Saeran let Saeyoung cry into him until his tears finally dried. 

“Let’s get some sleep.” He suggested, glancing at the digital clock by his side. It was 4am. 

Saeyoung nodded his head, and they stayed snuggled in each other’s arms until they finally were lulled into a deep sleep. 

—-

The next morning when Vanderwood walked into the house he was surprised to find that Saeyoung wasn’t awake yet. 

He saw Saeran’s room door wide open, and walked over there to check. 

What he found was Saeyoung cuddled into his brother’s chest, with Saeran wrapped protectively around him. Their eyes were puffy like they’d been recently crying. 

‘Well I’ll be…that kid finally manned up and let 707 sleep in his bed. Guess those nightmares might get better after all.’ 

He quietly closed the door to their room. ‘I’ll let them sleep a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh idk if I’m happy with this chapter. I am happy Saeran finally said I love you to his brother, ahhh that was nice to write ^^. Anyway enjoy! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins wake up in each other’s arms.

They had good dreams that night. The same dream, in fact. 

They dreamt of one cold, winter night. They only had thin sheets so the winters were particularly cruel to them. They were having trouble sleeping because of the cold, so they huddled up as close as they could to one another. 

_“Penguins huddle for warmth like this, too. I read it in a book at church.”_

_“What are penguins?” Saeran asked._

_“They’re birds that can’t fly.”_

_“Don’t they have wings?”_

_“They do, but they can’t carry them into the air.” Saeyoung explained._

_“They have wings but they can’t fly? That’s so sad…” He paused a moment. “That means they’re like me…I have a body like you, but I’m not strong enough to fly like you can.”_

_Saeyoung felt his heart drop in sadness, but picked it back up soon after. “Silly! Penguins have wings like that for a reason! They aren’t designed to fly, they weren’t meant to in the first place. Do you want to know why penguins have wings?”_

_“Why?”_

_“To swim! They have wings that are shorter and stouter, with no feathers. They use them to propel themselves in the water! I think they’re super cool. Normal birds can’t swim, you know. They weren’t made wrong in some way, they’re just special! You’re special in your own way Saeran, you don’t need to be exactly like me. We aren’t the same person.”_

_“But I thought ‘I’m you and you’re me’?”_

_“We are. We’re identical, we were once one being that split into two. We’re the same person, but different. Twins.”_

_“The same but different…I don’t get it.”_

_“We’re variations. Two different variations of the same human being. We’re separate individuals, but we’re still the same person.” Saeyoung smiled and hugged Saeran closer. “You’re special in your own way, Saeran. I’m sure someday when we’re adults, you’ll see that.”_

_Saeran still didn’t fully understand what his brother was saying, but Saeyoung seemed very passionate about it so he wanted to believe it, too._

_“Okay, hyung.” He buried his head into Saeyoung’s chest. “I love you.”_

_Saeyoung smiled down at him. “I love you, too.”_

Saeyoung woke first. He was groggy and still half asleep, only aware of the warmth next to him. He cuddled closer to it, and felt protective arms wrap tighter around his waist as he moved. 

He slowly became aware of his surroundings. ‘My one and only…’ He thought as he pressed his ear to Saeran’s chest. He listened to his twin’s heartbeat with reverence, cherishing every _thump_. 

Saeyoung brought his hand to his own heart, and felt the two beat in perfect synchrony. 

‘What time is it?’ He wasn’t able to check since the digital clock was behind him and turning might wake his twin. He didn’t want this moment to end, so he laid perfectly still. 

‘It feels so nice in his arms. I was always the one hugging him, comforting him. Did I always want him to hold me like this?’ 

He looked up at Saeran’s face. ‘He’s so handsome…’ His skin glistened like the pale snow, and his eyelashes were long and dark. He looked like an angel. 

‘He’s my angel, an angel sent from god to protect me and keep me sane. I love him more than anything—more than the sun, the moon, and the stars.’ 

His twin was his faith in God, the only thing that made him believe a benevolent being was watching over him. 

His eyes trailed down to his brother’s lips. They looked soft and pink. ‘They must be warm…’ He thought. 

Unconsciously, he licked his own lips. 

He felt a sudden craving at that moment. A desire to lean in closer to his brother and press his lips onto him. 

He suddenly blushed. ‘Ah…I’m having weird thoughts.’ He resisted the compulsion and buried his face into Saeran’s chest once more, sighing contentedly. 

Saeran began to rouse. 

He looked down to be met with beautiful, shining golden eyes. He stared into them, admiring their beauty. 

“Hyung…” He whispered. 

Saeyoung gave him an angelic smile. “Good morning, Saeran.” 

The gazed into each other’s eyes for a while, neither of them wanting to leave the other’s embrace. 

Finally, their stomachs growled in unison. 

They sat up in bed. 

“I guess we should get up and go eat breakfast.” Saeyoung yawned. “What do you want to eat today?” He asked his brother, stretching his limbs into the air. 

“Can I make breakfast today?” Saeran requested. “I know how to cook and everything.” 

Saeyoung blushed. “S-Sure! I can’t wait to try your cooking! I’ll go change my clothes then, just tell me when you’re ready.” He chirped, leaving the warmth of the bed.

“Alright.” 

Saeyoung walked back to his room, immediately falling onto his bed and squealing into a pillow.

‘I slept with Saeran…!’ He felt like he was on cloud nine.

He jumped onto the messenger to brag. MC, Zen, and Jaehee were on. 

[707 has entered the chat] 

707: Guys

707: I think I’m in heaven <3 

MC: Omg what happened?

707: Last night I slept in Saeran’s bed

707: Just like when we were children!

MC: OMG 

MC: That’s such an adorable image lol. 

Zen: But you two are grown men? 

Zen: Isn’t sleeping together a bit weird?

707: No one asked for your opinion. 

Zen: Jeez ;;;

Zen: Scary 

Jaehee: They have been separated since they were kids. 

Jaehee: It only seems appropriate that reconnecting means doing things they used to. 

MC: Exactly! 

MC: This is great progress. 

(707 love emoji) 

707: I love him so much!!! 

707: I could die a happy man! 

MC: Nooooo stay alive T-T 

707: Don’t worry!

707: Dying means leaving my brother. 

707: Which I’ll never ever do again. 

MC: ^^ 

Zen: I still think grown men cuddling is a bit weird. 

MC: It’s adorable. 

(MC angry emoji) 

Zen: Scarier ;;; 

Jaehee: I’m glad your relationship has improved. 

707: I’m happy too!! 

707: Guess What he’s doing right now! 

MC: What? What?!

707: He’s making me breakfast 

(707 love emoji) 

MC: OMG 

MC: Ray makes pretty good breakfast. 

707: I wonder what he’ll make? 

MC: Maybe a western style breakfast? 

707: That sounds yummy! 

A knock sounded on the door. 

707: I think he’s knocking!

707: Gotta go!

MC: Bye!

Zen: See ya, Seven. 

Jaehee: Enjoy your breakfast. 

[707 has left the chat] 

Saeyoung got up to answer the door. He greeted his twin his a cheery smile. 

“Breakfast is ready.” Saeran informed him. 

“I can’t wait!” Saeyoung could smell eggs and bacon. 

They walked to the kitchen together and enjoyed a delicious breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh a sweet chapter! I’m so glad I can write sweet, fluffy things now. It was sliiiightly frustrating only writing angst in Reconciliation, but I didn’t want to rush it. Ahh I’m glad I kept with this fic, I wouldn’t have been able to without such supportive comments! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. I Am Not Possessive!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung is totally not possessive.

[707 has joined the chat] 

MC: Hiya Hey hey 

707: Hiya hey hey back to ya 

Yoosung: Hi Seven!

707: Hiya hey hey Yoosungie 

MC: Seven! I’ve been meaning to ask!! 

707: What? 

MC: When’s Ray gonna join the messenger?

707: Uhmmmm…I haven’t asked him yet. 

MC: Why not? 

Yoosung: We all wanna meet him! 

707: I dunno if he’ll say yes, but I can ask. 

MC: Though I’m worried it’ll be awkward for him to be around me. 

707: How come? 

MC: Because he had a crush on me. 

707: **What?**

Yoosung: Really? 

MC: Yeah. He called me his first love and everything. 

707: **He said what?!**

MC: Yeah over the phone. 

707: …

Yoosung: Seven are you okay? 

707: Uh…

707: I don’t know 

707: How I feel about that ;;;

MC: Oh my! 

MC: I knew Ray was possessive 

MC: But you’re possessive too aren’t you? 

707: Whaaaat? 

707: No I’m not. 

MC: Then why’re you so uncomfortable with Ray having a crush? 

707: I mean ;;; I don’t know ;;

707: But I’m not possessive! 

Yoosung: It sounded a little possessive. 

707: No way! I was just shocked! 

MC: Then can I date Ray? 

707: **No.**

MC: And why’s that? 

707: Because a) he’s still recovering and b) you’re a taken woman. 

MC: C) you’re possessive. 

707: No! 

707: If Ray found someone he loved 

707: And wanted to be in a relationship 

707: Then I’d…

707: Well…

707: I want him to be happy. 

707: That’s all…

MC: Aww Seven is possessive. 

707: Gah! Am not! 

MC: It’s alright there’s nothing wrong with being a little possessive. 

MC: Yoosung doesn’t like the idea of me being your bestie because he’s feeling possessive. 

Yoosung: What?! 

MC: You want Seven all to yourself <3 

Yoosung: No way! I am not possessive of hyung! 

707: ///// 

707: Yoosungie is that true? 

Yoosung: NO.

Yoosung: NONONO. 

MC: Don’t worry Yoosung! 

MC: Even if I’m his best friend 

MC: Seven still loves you! 

707: Yah! I still love you! 

Yoosung: It’s not like that! It’s just me and hyung have known each other longer! 

MC: But does he come to you when he’s feeling troubled? 

Yoosung: No

MC: Do you play along with his jokes?

Yoosung: No…

707: MC I’m all up for teasing Yoosung but this is a bit ;;;

MC: Let me ask you this…

MC: **Do you know his real name?**

707: MC! 

Yoosung: Seven…you told her your real name? 

707: No! Rika said it on the messenger! 

Yoosung: You come to her with your troubles? 

707: Well yes…

707: She’s just easy to talk to! 

Yoosung: But what about all those times we went to the movies together? And hung out? 

707: Yoosung…

707: The practical joke has been fun but 

707: I can have two best friends ;;;

Yoosung: But one of us is always gonna be the bester best friend! 

707: Ughh don’t be like this. 

707: There’s no reason to be so upset. 

707: I’m still your best friend! 

Yoosung: hmph! 

Yoosung: You can’t have more than one best friend! 

Yoosung: Or else that friend isn’t the ‘best’. 

Yoosung: It’s right there in the name! 

MC: Possessive…

Yoosung: Am not! 

707: It seems more like jealousy than possessiveness to me. 

MC: Same thing. 

707: Similar, but not the same. 

707: Possessive) 1 : of, relating to, or constituting a word, a word group, or a grammatical case that denotes ownership or a relation analogous to ownership   
2 : manifesting possession or the desire to own or dominate. 

707: Jealous) 1 : hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage   
2 a : intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness  
b : disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness   
3 : vigilant in guarding a possession

707: The dictionary doesn’t lie. 

MC: Then which are you? Possessive or jealous? 

707: Neither! 

MC: Both! 

707: _Neither!_

MC: _Both!_

707: Ugh. 

MC: Then What is it about Ray having a crush on me that bothers you? 

707: I don’t know;;; 

707: Ugh now I’m uncomfortable! 

707: Bye

[707 has left the chatroom] 

Saeyoung threw down his phone and plopped down onto the bed. 

‘I am not possessive!’ He mentally tried to reassure himself. 

But why was he so torn up about Saeran having had a crush on MC? 

Crushes were normal for someone to get, he should be happy that his brother got to enjoy such a simple pleasure in life. But he just felt annoyed. 

‘She was really his first love?’ He hated the sound of that. 

“ _Hnghhhhhh!_ ” He groaned and thrashed about on his bed. 

He buried his face into his pillow and laid still a while. ‘If Saeran got a girlfriend…what would I do…?’ 

If he got married, wouldn’t he move out? There’s no way they’d be able to continue living together if his brother got married and had children. 

‘Would I be happy for him…?’ He wanted to say ‘yes’, that he wasn’t selfish enough to want to monopolize his twin. ‘I don’t think I could really say yes and mean it…’ 

Falling in love was a good thing, and he should be supportive of Saeran. But would he truly be able to let him go? 

‘There’s that saying, ‘if you love them, let them go…’ but I don’t think I’m strong enough to do something like that.’ 

It was then that he realized just how selfish he truly was. 

‘Is that why I haven’t asked Saeran to get on the messenger?’ 

It’d be good for Saeran to make friends, why didn’t he think of it sooner…?

‘It makes me feel scared…’ 

Right now his brother was isolated, all he had was Saeyoung. For some reason, he didn’t want that to end. 

‘I’m a horrible person…’ 

He really was possessive, wasn’t he? He wanted Saeran all to himself. 

‘How do I know he won’t leave me for someone else?’ If Saeyoung let him make friends, Saeran might find someone he liked more than Saeyoung. Then he’d leave Saeyoung to be with that person. 

‘I belong to Saeran now…but what does he think of me?’ 

These thoughts were killing him. 

Finally he sprang up off the bed and sprinted to Saeran’s room, throwing open the door. 

“Hyung?!” Saeran looked at him shocked. 

“Is it true that you had a crush on MC?!” He asked, breathing heavily. 

“Eh? W-Why are you asking?”

Truthfully, Saeran knew about the conversation his brother had had on the messenger. He’d hacked into the messenger and had been reading all the logs. 

His brother belonged to him now, and Saeran wanted to make sure it stayed that way. So, he was monitoring all Saeyoung’s conversations, just to make sure everything was okay. 

He knew it was wrong, but he’d rather be a bad person than lose Saeyoung again. 

“MC said that you had a crush on her when you were still at Mint Eye. And that you called her your first love and everything! Is that really true?!” 

Saeran paused, embarrassed. 

‘Is he nervous about my crush…?’ Saeran wondered. 

Now that he thought about it, the only feelings he harbored for MC now we’re jealousy. 

‘Where did my crush on her go?’ 

“Saeran?” 

Saeran realized he hadn’t replied to Saeyoung’s question. 

He sighed. “Yes, it’s true.” 

Saeyoung took a sharp intake of breath. “R-Really? You’re in love with MC?” It filled him with feelings of anxiety and fear. 

“N-No! I mean…not anymore…I think.” Saeran blushed. 

Saeyoung paused. He gripped his chest. “Saeran, I know I belong to you and never ever want to leave you, but would you ever leave me?” His lip quivered. 

“Hyung…” His brother was afraid of him leaving, too. Saeyoung was afraid of the same thing as Saeran. 

They really were twins. 

“No, I won’t leave you. You belong to me now, I wouldn’t just abandon something that’s mine.”

Saeyoung felt tears fall from his eyes. His brother wasn’t going to leave him. “No matter what?” He asked. 

“No matter what.” Saeran promised. 

Saeyoung felt so elated that he ran across the room and jumped right onto Saeran, knocking them both down. “Thank you…thank you…” he mumbled, sobbing into his brother’s chest. 

Saeran was surprised at his brother’s actions, especially at how childish they felt, but he understood Saeyoung’s feelings. 

He wrapped his arms around Saeyoung and rubbed soothing circles on his back. 

Saeyoung looked back up at his brother. “I love you, Saeran.” 

Saeran smiled down at Saeyoung. “I love you, too, Saeyoung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I promised that his possessiveness would be revealed in a later chapter, and voila! Saeyoung realizing his possessive feelings for his brother. 
> 
> Saeyoung’s so cute crying when Saeran promises he won’t leave him. I love these two to pieces! 
> 
> And Saeran monitering the messenger will become pretty important in later chapters^^ 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Providing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung gives Saeran a neck massage.

Saeran was in the kitchen making dinner. He’d been helping around more with chores lately, even though Saeyoung would tell him he was fine taking care of everything. 

‘He wants to do everything all on his own, but I want to provide for him, too.’ 

His brother wanting to belong to him and being so willing to do as he said gave him a realization: Saeyoung didn’t take care of Saeran because he believed he was inferior or incapable, he just did it because he wanted Saeran to be happy. 

Saeyoung liked providing, it gave him a sense of usefulness and fulfillment. He also loved his brother more than anything and was willing to bear all Saeran’s pain in order to make him happy.

But Saeran wasn’t okay with that. 

He wanted to be a provider, too. He wanted to be reliable and strong for his twin as well. He wasn’t okay with such a one-sided love, if they were going to be brother’s again he wanted to do it right this time. 

‘Saeyoung was always bearing responsibility for me as kids, it must have been stressful.’

Seeing how elated his twin was at just the prospect of someone wanting to take care of him made him realize how hard it must have been for his twin as children. 

‘I’ll make meals for him, and help with laundry, and do dishes so Saeyoung doesn’t have to be so stressed anymore.’

He wanted to repay his twin for the care he’d provided Saeran with all these years. 

‘Ow…’ Saeran rubbed the muscles in his shoulder.

Lately they’d been tense from all the hunching over he’d been doing over his laptop on the bed. 

His brother noticed and eyed him with concern. 

“Are you okay?” Saeyoung asked. 

“My neck hurts.” 

Saeyoung walked up to him and felt the tender muscle. 

“Ow!” Saeran yelped a little. 

“Ah—Sorry! Yeah it’s pretty tender. My muscles get like that too sometimes from being on the computer a lot. After dinner I can massage it for you.” He offered. 

“Alright.” Saeran blushed a little at the thought of being so close to his twin. 

They ate dinner and traveled to Saeran’s room to take care of his neck. 

Saeran sat on the bed with his legs crossed and Saeyoung kneeled behind him. 

“So where does it hurt?” 

Saeran pointed to the muscles along his neck that were tense. 

“It’ll hurt a very slightly just because of how tense the muscles are, but it shouldn’t be bad. Tell me if You want me to go lighter or firmer.” Saeyoung informed. 

He started by rubbing very lightly over the area he was going to work with so that his twin could get acclimated to the sensation. Once Saeran seemed to get more comfortable, Saeyoung began kneading his thumbs from the area at the top of the neck to the base and back. 

“I actually had a mission where I had to pose as a massage therapist, so I got pretty good at this.” Saeyoung explained. 

“Why would you need to pose as a massage therapist?” 

“The massage was at the targets house. I excused myself to go to the bathroom and took photos of some documents while I was gone. This is all classified so maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this.” 

“Who am I gonna tell?” 

Saeyoung laughed. “I guess that’s true.” 

Saeran blushed. His brother had such a wonderful laugh, it felt like music to his ears.

Saeyoung pinched lightly at the side of the base of his neck and alternated with circular motions with his fingers, gently kneading out any knots he found. 

“You’re pretty tight in your levators and traps. I tend to get tight there, too. Usually people with desk jobs have to hunch over a lot, and it causes them to form muscle knots in their neck and shoulders.” He thought a moment. “Speaking of desks, you have to always hunch over your laptop in bed, don’t you? Having a desk would help your neck a lot. I should have thought more about that when I bought you a computer, I’m sorry.” 

Saeran sighed. “Don’t apologize for doing something nice for me.” 

“But I should have thought more about you when I bought it. You wouldn’t have gotten such tense muscles if I’d just gotten you a desk right away.” 

“Stop. I definitely didn’t deserve more gifts from you after I hacked into your things and broke that first phone, but you bought me a new laptop and phone anyway. I’m grateful for just that. Anyway it’s not like you could have foreseen me getting some neck pain.” 

“But I could’ve since I get pain here all the time!” 

“Enough, hyung. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.” 

Saeyoung sighed. “Okay…” He felt glad that Saeran wasn’t annoyed at him for being so negligent. “Pick out any desk you want online and I’ll buy it for you. And don’t forget a good desk chair to go along with it.” 

“Alright.” Saeran was half sure his brother was some kind of saint. Who else could be so forgiving?

Saeyoung began gliding his palm along Saeran’s shoulder blades in circular motions. 

The places where his brother touched Saeran left a hot, tingling sensation. Saeran bit his lip, his brother’s body being so close to him made his feel pressure just below his gut. 

He’d been having that feeling a lot lately when his brother got close to him. His scent, his touch, his golden eyes—it all lit a fire within him. 

He always craved something more when he got that feeling, but the desire was so unfamiliar to him that he couldn’t place it. 

Saeyoung scooted a bit closer to him, Saeran could feel his heat just behind him. He tensed a bit at the sensation. 

Saeyoung noticed him tense up. “Does it hurt?” 

“Ah, no, it’s fine.” He took a deep breath and tried to relax his shoulders. “I think I’m just not used to someone touching me so up close.” 

“I can stop if you want.” 

“No, don’t. It…It feels nice.” 

Saeyoung smiled, he was glad to be doing something nice for his twin. 

He got closer and moved his arms to the front of Saeran’s body to massage the chest area just below his collarbone. 

Saeyoung suddenly had the urge to wrap his arms around his twin and press against him. To nuzzle into Saeran and leave kisses along the sides of his neck. 

He turned completely red at the thought. ‘Ah, cut it out! You’re thinking weird thoughts again!’ He’d sometimes get the urge to feel Saeran’s soft lips or hook his arm around his waist. ‘Saeran would hate you for doing strange things like that!’ 

He made some long sweeping motions along the sides of his neck and the tops of his shoulders. 

“Alright, all finished! How do you feel?” 

Saeran moved around his shoulder and neck. The pain along his neck was relieved. “It’s all better now. Thank you.” 

Saeyoung smiled at his twin. “I’m really glad! I hate it when you feel any pain, it feels nice that I can relieve just a little of it.” 

Saeran paused. “Hyung, why do you like taking care of me so much?” 

Saeyoung thought a moment. “I don’t know, I just really love you and want you to be happy.” 

Saeran looked thoughtful and stayed silent a second. “Okay. I’ll look up on the internet how to do massages so that I can give you one next time, too.” His brother did say he got tense in these areas a lot, too. 

Saeyoung laughed. “You don’t have to, but I’d really love it if you did.” 

They went about the rest of their day in good moods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh sexual tension!! I wanna write smut so bad but I have to sit through all this pining first it’s frustratinggg! Someday, I’ll get the chance to write their sweet first time lol. Ahhh but I love the slow burn, too. They haven’t even realized their feelings yet tho ugh T-T. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading!


	9. RoboPup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung shows off the completed security dog.

“You didn’t throw that thing out?!” Vanderwood stares at the robot dog sitting on the floor in front of him. 

“Nope! And it’s fully finished now. I’ve tested every feature and they all work just fine.” Saeyoung grinned. 

“It won’t try to dispose of me this time?” Vanderwood asked, dubious. 

Saeyoung shook his head. “I’ve programmed both facial and voice recognition software. I’ve given it some other cool features, too! Wanna see?” 

Vanderwood shrugged. He had to admit that he was curious. 

“Oh! I’ll get Saeran, I want him to see, too.” 

He walked to Saeran’s room and knocked on the door. 

“Come in.” Saeran’s voice replied from within his room. 

Saeyoung opened the door. “Saeran! Come check out the completed robot security dog!” 

“You still have the fire-breathing dog?” Saeran was slightly surprised. 

“Yeah. Come check out some of its features!” 

Saeran followed his brother into the living room. 

“Alright, so as you know, it can breathe fire. It’s got a weapon, so you have to be careful with it. But I’ve given it plenty of other features as well! RoboPup, roll over.” The dog rolled over. “Sit.” It sat. “Do a somersault.” It did a somersault. “Get me a PHD Pepper.” The dog ran to the kitchen and returned with a can of soda in its mouth. 

“Wow, hyung! You really made that?” Saeran stared at the creature in shock. 

“I was created by Seven-shi to protect Angel Saeran from bad guys, woof!” The dog answered. 

“It can understand us?!” Vanderwood gaped. 

“Yep! RoboPup, explain your core features.” 

“I dispose of intruders and protect the residents of the household. I have thermal detectors to detect intruders and breathe fire to repel them. I am programmed for servitude as well as protection and can follow most complex instructions. I am optimized for communication and can answer questions. I can also do tricks like other dogs can, woof!” It explained. 

“I can’t believe you really made this!” Saeran exclaimed. He reached out his hand to pat the dog on its head.

The dog wagged its tail in response. “Woof!” 

“I have something else cool to show you!” Saeyoung whistled and three birds flew out of his room. 

“Birds?!” Vanderwood jolted back in surprise at the bird flying over his head. 

The three birds sat atop both Saeyoung’s shoulders and head. “They look real, huh? They’re cameras and motion detectors. They’ll be deployed within a mile radius from here. They’ll detect any human or vehicle approaching our location and alert me of suspicious activity. Their wings have solar panels so they don’t need to be charged.” 

“Wow!” Saeran couldn’t help but poke one of the birds, which flew off in response. “Ah, Sorry!” 

“They’re programmed to act like normal birds so they’ll fly away if you bother them. They have to keep safe from predators and such.” Saeyoung explained. 

“You’re amazing, hyung.” Saeran commented. “You really are a genius.” 

“You’re a genius, too. I’m sure you could make things like this if you tried.” Saeyoung told him. 

“But you’re really special. I could never think of things like this.” Saeran felt a twinge of inferiority. 

“You’re selling yourself short. Plus this is just what I happen to like doing best, I’ve had a lot of practice. I’m a pretty good hacker, but what I like most is engineering.” Saeyoung whistled again. “Alright RoboBirds, time to deploy you out into the world.” He took them to the gate and let them fly free into the sky. 

“What if they get hurt?” Vanderwood asked. 

“If one gets injured, it’s programmed to come back for repairs. If it can’t fly anymore, it alerts me of its location for retrieval.” 

“Cool!” Saeran grinned. 

‘Yay, I’m impressing Saeran!’ Saeyoung felt proud of himself. “Oh! The dog acts as a pet, too. And does tricks. Try it out!” 

“Uh, come here?” Saeran instructed. The dog approached him and he petted its head. The robot dog licked his hand. “It’s tongue is like a stuffed animal.” Saeran noticed. 

“It’s not the cuddliest thing in the world, but it has some real canine behaviors.” 

“I’ve always wanted a pet.” Saeran stroked it happily. 

“Wanna try playing fetch?” Saeyoung offered his brother a ball. 

“Sure!” Saeran eagerly took it and threw it across the room. “Fetch!” 

The dog scurried after it and returned with the ball in its mouth. It dropped it on the floor in front of Saeran. “Woof!” 

Saeran laughed in delight. 

Saeyoung mentally celebrated for making his twin laugh. ‘He has such a gorgeous laugh!’ He noted. “I have a full instruction manual right here if you want to read it! It lists all the other features I didn’t demonstrate.” 

“I still don’t fully trust that dog, but I’ll admit you outdid yourself this time.” Vanderwood approved. 

Saeyoung grinned. “I’ll spare no expense to protect us!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A light, fluffy chapter! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Saeran is (Not) an Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung believes his brother is perfect. Saeran confronts him on this belief.

Saeyoung laid on his bed, chatting on the messenger. He was talking to Zen, MC, and Jaehee. 

707: And then Saeran said “Cool!” 

707: He called my invention cool! 

MC: Aww 

Zen: Do you ever plan on talking about anything other than your brother?

707: But he’s amazing! 

Zen: Yes ;;; But other people might want to talk about things. 

Jaehee Kang: Lately all you really have talked about is your twin. 

MC: He’s just happy to have Ray back. 

Jaehee: But is it healthy to be so obsessive? 

707: I can hold a legitimate conversation without it being all about Ray. 

707: Go ahead and talk about something. 

Zen: Alright! So Zekyll and Hyde has been consistently selling out! 

Jaehee Kang: Of course it is. You’re acting is phenomenal. 

MC: That’s amazing!

707: Zekyll and Hyde, huh…? 

707: Split personalities…

Zen: Is something wrong?

707: No I just remembered something. 

707: It’s not important. Keep talking. 

Zen: The reception has been great

Zen: But I still feel like something is missing from my performance. 

Jaehee: Like what? Your performances are stunning. 

Zen: I don’t know…I just feel like I could be playing the character better. 

Zen: Ugh it’s so difficult. 

Zen: Playing the struggle of good vs evil

Zen: Light vs dark 

707: Woah woah

707: Good vs evil? 

Zen: Yeah? 

707: No wonder your performance is off ;;; 

707: You’re right about Hyde being evil, but Zekyll certainly isn’t good. 

MC: Incoming genius explanation. 

707: Zekyll did want the potion to split him into purely good and evil. 

707: But instead when Zekyll takes the potion, what he’s left with is normal Zekyll and evil Hyde. 

Zen: But he was appalled by Hyde committing murder? 

707: It’s not special by any means for a human to be appalled with murder. 

Zen: He wanted to get rid of Hyde at the end though?

707: That was simple self-preservation. Hyde was becoming the dominant personality and Zekyll was afraid of disappearing completely. 

707: Have you actually read the book? 

Zen: Ummm…I read the script? ;;; 

707: Go figure. 

707: Zekyll’s biggest theme is repression and Hyde’s is freedom. 

707: Anything that seemed good about Zekyll was a facade. 

707: I think the problem here is that you were trying to portray Zekyll as a protagonist. 

707: When in reality you should’ve been portraying him as an antagonist like Hyde. 

MC: Why normal vs evil and not good vs evil? 

707: **Because humans are all inherently scum bags.**

Jaehee: Luciel, that last part is a bit much. 

707: You people don’t know because you haven’t been exposed to it

707: But humans are total garbage. 

Zen: But we’re human? 

Zen: Are we scum?

707: That question could be easily answered by referring back to my prior statements. 

MC: What a savage way of saying ‘yes’.

707: A human can never be inherently good. There’s always selfishness and malintent residing within him. It’s within the nature of humanity to be self-serving. 

MC: Hold on, where does your brother fall in all of this?

MC: Is he a scumbag, too? 

707: **NO**

707: My brother is the most honest, amazing, and wonderful human being on planet earth!

Jaehee: What an extreme view ;;

MC: You said no human can be inherently good, though? 

707: Ray doesn’t count! 

707: My brother was born pure and good. 

707: The most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. 

707: He’s nothing like me! 

707: He’s my earth angel. 

Zen: Dude ;;; 

MC: Wow, I knew your brother complex was strong but this is more than I expected. 

707: Shut up. 

Jaehee: You do seem to idolize him quite a bit. 

707: You guys have never met him so you wouldn’t understand! 

707: ? 

MC: What is it?

707: Ray just texted me to come to his room.

707: Sorry I gotta go. 

[707 has left the messenger] 

Saeyoung got up off the bed and walked to his brother’s room. He knocked. 

A reply came from inside. “Come in.” 

“Saeran, what’s up?” Saeyoung asked. He hoped nothing was wrong. 

“I just wanted to talk to you.” Saeran said. “Come sit.” He patted the place on the bed next to him. 

Saeyoung sat beside him. “Is something wrong?” 

Something was wrong. Saeran had been monitoring all of Saeyoung’s chats on the messenger, and he was particularly bothered with today’s conversation. 

‘He thinks of me like an angel?’ He’d thought when reading. 

“Saeyoung, What do you think of me?” Saeran asked. 

Saeyoung paused for a moment. “Uhhh…in what way?”

“Just in general. What do you think of me?” 

Saeyoung thought back to his earlier conversation. “I think you’re the most wonderful and beautiful person on planet earth.” Saeyoung answered. 

Saeran felt uncomfortable being regarded so highly. “What if I wasn’t?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“What if I wasn’t the most wonderful person…would you be disappointed?” He asked. 

Saeyoung looked at him, confused. “But you’ll always be the most wonderful to me.” 

“Hyung, I’m not a good person.” Saeran said, bluntly. 

“Don’t say that! You’re the best person I know!” 

“Why would you think that?” 

“When we were kids, you were the sweetest and most pure person I knew. You were such a shining, bright light even though we lived among such darkness. I wanted to protect that light more than anything.” Saeyoung explained with a dreamy expression. 

“That was when we were kids! I’m not like that anymore!” 

“I’m sure that light didn’t just disappear! That’s why I have to protect you from all the darkness in the world. I never want you to end up doing horrible, filthy things like I’ve had to do.” 

“You’re not a bad person, Saeyoung! You’re forgiving and kind and protective.” 

“I’ve had to do plenty of horrible, filthy things for the Agency over the years. I’m just as bad as any of them, I’m an irredeemable cockroach.” 

“But you never wanted to do those things, and hated having to do them. I’ve done terrible things because I _wanted_ to!” Saeran was becoming irritated. 

“You’re not a bad person!” Saeyoung refused to believe his sweet brother was anything but an angel. 

“I almost killed you!” He clenched his fists. 

“But you didn’t kill me! And you ended up forgiving me after!” Saeyoung insisted. 

“Hyung, that doesn’t make my actions any less wrong.” 

“You were going through a lot of tough emotions. Anyway I’ve hurt you so much, I deserve any pain you give me.” 

“What about V? I shoved all that elixir down his throat. Did he deserve it?” 

‘That was Saeran? I thought it was Rika…’ 

“Do you want to know why I gave him all that elixir?” Saeran asked. 

Saeyoung didn’t reply. He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. 

“The elixir has a calming, pain relieving effect. You feel sick for a moment, but then you’re totally at peace. I wanted him to become addicted to that peace like the other believers. I wanted him to beg me on his hands and knees for more.” 

Saeyoung took a moment for his words to sink in. He searched in his mind for some excuse. “You were on that crazy drug. Hallucinogens naturally lower inhibitions and can make you do reckless things. I don’t think you can be blamed for your actions…”

“But the desire was still there! I craved power over him, my intentions were still my own!” Saeran scrunched his face in anger and frustration. 

“E-Even so…I still don’t think you’re bad by any means.” 

“Why won’t you let me take responsibility for my actions?!”

“Because they aren’t your fault!” 

Saeran finally couldn’t take it anymore. He jumped onto his brother and pinned him to the bed, holding both his arms down. 

“Eh—? Saeran?” Saeyoung was so stunned that he froze. He stayed perfectly silent, breathing heavily in confusion. 

Neither of them spoke for a full minute. 

“Why can’t you get it through your head that I’m not an angel?” Saeran finally broke the silence. 

Saeyoung didn’t know how to respond. He was rendered speechless by his brother’s gaze. 

Saeran’s green eyes were darkened, and he looked at his brother the way a predator observed its prey. He removed his hand from Saeyoung’s forearm to take off his brother’s glasses. He wanted to see those clear, golden eyes without obstruction. 

“I know about the conversation you were having on the messenger before this. It’s the entire reason I called you over here to talk, I couldn’t stand the way you idolized me.” 

“How do you know about what what I said on the messenger?” Saeyoung asked cautiously, though he could already guess the answer. 

“I hacked into your messenger again. I’ve been monitoring all your conversations with your friends. I completely ignored your privacy, doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?” Saeran asked. 

Saeyoung gulped. He’d be lying if he said it didn't cause him a little discomfort. “I belong to you now…it’s only fair that you’re given rights to every part of my life.” 

Saeran clicked his tongue. His brother was really as stubborn as a mule. 

They stayed silent a while longer, both becoming more aware of the proximity of the other. 

Saeran bit his lip. Warmth and pressure began pooling in his gut. Pinning his brother down like this, and his brother not resisting, gave him an incredible feeling of power. 

He moved his hand to stroke just below his brother’s jaw. 

“I want to possess every fiber of your being, but it doesn’t just end there. Deep inside, I want to barr you off completely from the outside world. I want to keep you locked up just for me, and make sure that you’re never able to leave me again.”

Saeyoung gulped. The tension between them made it hard to breath. The heat he felt from his brother’s touch was becoming unbearable. 

“I already told you I belong to you. You don’t need to lock me up to get me to stay with you, I want to be by your side.” 

“But I want you locked up so that even if you didn’t want to be with me, you couldn’t leave.” Saeran wanted his brother to know the full extent of his desire, and to understand that he wasn’t any kind of angel. 

Saeyoung didn't know how to react. The idea of being locked up by his twin made his heart race and he had no idea why. He felt his lip quiver, and his breathing became shallow. His cheeks were lightly dusted with red. 

Saeran noticed his brother was trembling a bit. ‘Is he frightened?’ He thought for a moment. “I really could do whatever I wanted to you right now. Does that scare you?” That sense of dominance lit a fire inside him. 

“No, I’m not scared…” Saeyoung couldn’t quite place what he was feeling. He didn’t feel afraid of his twin, but rather felt like he was waiting for something. His body was becoming antsy with impatience for his brother to do _something_ to him. ‘Shit, why is it so hot in here?’ He licked his dry lips. 

Saeran was feeling something similar. He really wanted something from his twin right now, but couldn’t place the desire welling within him. 

All he really knew was that he loved this feeling of power and control over his brother. 

“You know I’m still angry at you. Part of me still wants you to feel all the pain I was put in.” 

He suddenly felt an urge, and this time did nothing to resist it. He leaned down and bit his brother right at the base of his neck. 

“S-Saeran?” Saeyoung winced as his brother broke the skin. He went totally breathless at his brother’s actions. 

“Ever since you told me you’d love me even if I hurt you, I’ve wanted to test those limits. I want to know just how far I can push until you shattered completely. How does it make you feel, knowing that I want to break you?” Saeran whispered into Saeyoung’s ear. 

“If…if it makes you feel better, do whatever you want to me.” Saeyoung said, in between heavy breaths. 

Saeran noticed a drop of blood forming on the bite he’d left on his brother’s skin. He leaned down once again and licked it clean, lapping and sucking a few more times on some unknown impulse until-

Saeyoung moaned. 

Saeran went still at the sound, and Saeyoung became red in embarrassment. 

The second Saeran felt himself growing hard, he removed himself from his brother’s body and turned away so Saeyoung couldn’t see. 

Saeyoung felt like he could finally breathe again now that his brother was off of him, but his body felt cold and disappointed at the loss of contact. 

“Haah, s-sorry.” He said, panting. 

“I-It’s fine…I was doing something weird anyway…” Saeran didn’t dare turn around, because it’d reveal his half-hard cock and he was way too embarrassed and confused. 

“I…I should go make dinner.” Saeyoung scrambled up. 

“Y-Yeah…okay…s-sorry.” 

Saeyoung exited the room and made a beeline to his bedroom. He shut the door and fell to his knees. 

‘God, what the hell was that?!’ He tried to catch his breath to no avail. His heart felt like it’d beat right out of his chest. ‘H-He was just trying to hurt me, and I went and made it weird…!’ 

He couldn’t believe what had just happened. ‘Did I moan…?’ But Saeran was his brother? ‘It was just the sensation, it had nothing to do with Saeran.’ 

He was finally able to calm down with that explanation. 

After what felt like ages, he got up to check the wound on his neck. 

It was undeniably a hickey. 

Saeyoung decided his brother was probably inexperienced and didn’t know what a hickey was, and therefore could not be blamed for making it. 

‘Shit, I’ll need to cover it up with makeup so Vanderwood doesn’t see it.’ 

Saeyoung threw himself onto his bed and buried his face in a pillow for a while. 

He finally decided to distract himself with his phone and noticed he’d been texted by MC. 

MC: What did your brother want to talk about? 

Saeyoung thought back to their earlier conversation. Saeran was really adamant on getting Saeyoung to believe he wasn’t an angel. 

‘But he’s not a bad person either.’ Saeyoung could never think of his brother as bad. 

707: It was nothing…

707: Hey MC,

707: If someone isn’t a wonderful person, but also isn’t a scumbag, what does that make them? 

He received a reply. 

MC: A normal human.

MC: Although to you humans and scumbags are synonymous lol. 

He thought for a moment, then answered. 

707: Maybe not all humans are inherently horrible… 

Even if his brother wasn’t an angel, Saeyoung would still love him all the same. Even if he shattered him into tiny bits and pieces, he’d always love Saeran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an Evangelion title! Lol I made an extra saucy chapter for Valentine’s Day. Sorry it’s not very romantic, but it definitely gave Saeran and Saeyoung some knew perspective on their feelings. Well neither of them have come to terms with it, and Saeyoung’s totally in denial, but still some progress was made.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Happy Valentine’s Day!


	11. Two Sleepy Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung and Saeran finally make up after that awkward situation. Later, Saeran decides on a place to move.

The next few days between Saeyoung and Saeran were tense. It took about three days for the mark to fade. 

Saeyoung had been an awkward, blushing mess the whole time, and Saeran had kept very silent. They hadn’t been sleeping together and both of them suffered nightmares from the loss of each other’s embrace. 

One night, Saeyoung finally padded over to Saeran’s room, knocking on the door. 

“Come in.” Came from inside. 

Saeyoung stepped in and paused in silence. He stayed fully still a minute, turning increasingly red with every second. “I’m sorry I made a weird noise!” He finally said, exhaling deeply. 

Saeran was surprised. He thought his brother was just angry at him for biting his neck, but he was just hung up over the noise he’d made? He replayed the moan in his head and flushed red once again. 

“It’s fine. Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? I thought you were angry at me for biting you.” 

“No…! I’m not angry at you at all! I _did_ say that you could do whatever you wanted to me, anyway…I just thought I made it awkward by making that sound.” Saeyoung explained. 

“No it wasn’t that. I’m glad you’re not mad at me though…” He really didn’t know what came over him that day. 

“Then…can I sleep with you again?” Saeyoung asked, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. 

“Y-Yeah.” Saeran scooted over to make room for his brother. 

Saeyoung walked over and joined Saeran on the bed. He sighed loudly. “I really missed sleeping next to you.” He cuddled into his brother’s chest. 

Saeran could feel his heart speeding up. He was worried he’d get another erection like the other day, and this time wouldn’t be able to hide it. Saeyoung would definitely go back to his room if he saw!

“It’s so lonely, sleeping on my own. But it always feels warm with you.” Saeyoung exhaled contentedly. 

Saeran felt his heart calm. ‘Saeyoung needs me, I’m sure I can keep my emotions in check to be there for him.’ He decided. Saeran felt warmer at Saeyoung’s side as well, he didn’t want to lose that warmth. 

“Goodnight, Hyung.” 

“Goodnight.” 

—-

Saeyoung sat in his hacking room, he was bored and frustrated with an assignment so he got on the messenger to relieve some stress. 

[707 has joined the chat]

707: A wild 707 has appeared 

MC: Gotta catch’em all 

707: Yeet 

Yoosung: You guys are weird ;;; 

Yoosung: But I’m glad you came Seven!

707: I’m having a feeling of dread…

707: Uh oh…

Yoosung: I got invited on a group date with some of my classmates 

Yoosung: Would you come to it with me? 

MC: You want Seven to be your date?!

Yoosung: What?! 

Yoosung: No!!

707: //////

707: Yoosungie I had no idea you felt that way. 

Yoosung: I don’t! 

Yoosung: I like girls!! 

707: Yoosung there’s nothing wrong with liking men. 

MC: Very true. 

Yoosung: You like men, right Seven? 

707: The only man I need 

707: is my brother. 

707: But yeah, I have no gender preference. 

Yoosung: You can’t date your brother ;;; he doesn’t count 

Saeyoung thought back to the other evening, and the moan he made when Saeran bit into his neck. 

707: Dating?! No one said anything about dating! Don’t make things weird! 

He calmed down after a minute. 

707: He’s my ‘one and only’ 

707: He’s all I need to survive. 

MC: So cute. 

Yoosung: Yeah, but don’t you want more than just your brother? 

Yoosung: You don’t want a romantic relationship? 

707: He’s all I need. 

707: Anyway group dates just aren’t my thing. 

707: I’m not looking for a partner. 

Yoosung: Then just be there as my wingman! 

Saeyoung knew it wasn’t an option for him. He couldn’t put his friend in danger by appearing out in public with him. 

707: Sorry but it’s a no from me. 

707: Ask Zen. 

Yoosung: And let him steal all the girls?!

Yoosung: No way! 

Yoosung: Anyway…I miss you, hyung. 

Yoosung: We never hang out anymore and you don’t come on the messenger often. 

Yoosung: And you only ever talk about your brother when you do…

707: Yoosung…

Saeyoung felt bad for his friend, but wasn’t selfish enough to risk his life just to hang out. 

707: I’m trying to minimize the amount I leave the house. 

707: I can’t come hang out. 

Yoosung: Then can I come to your house? 

Revealing the location of his home was too dangerous. If Yoosung was captured, he might let the location slip. Then it was game over for him and Saeran. He wouldn’t jeopardize his new home with his brother for something so small. 

707: Sorry Yoosung, I can’t. 

707: Anyway I don’t think my brother is ready for people to visit the house. 

Yoosung: Why is everything always about your brother…? 

707: Because he’s my reason for living. 

707: I want to make this place a home he can be comfortable in. 

707: That means respecting his boundaries. 

Yoosung: Doesn’t he want to meet us? 

707: I don’t know. 

707: But it’s not just about wanting to meet you. 

707: It isn’t that easy, Yoosung. 

707: Someone that’s lived a privileged life wouldn’t understand the effects that suffering brings a person. 

707: My brother is strong and he’s made it through many bad situations 

707: But things take time. 

707: I can talk to him 

707: But I won’t do things or make him do things that he doesn’t want to do. 

Yoosung: Alright…

MC: Be patient with Ray, Yoosung. 

MC: And with Seven

MC: You don’t know what problems they might be facing. 

Yoosung: Okay, I’m sorry. 

Saeyoung sighed, he felt guilty for having to withdraw so much from his friend. 

707: You’ve been playing LOLOL a lot recently, right? 

707: If we’re on the same server, we can play together without being in the same room

707: I can’t do it often

707: But we can still hang out. 

Yoosung: Really?!

Yoosung: That sounds great! 

Saeyoung exhaled in relief. 

“Hyung? I wanted to talk to you.” Saeran stood at the entrance to the hacking room. 

707: Sorry guys I gotta go

707: Bye!

[707 has left the chat] 

“What’s up, Saeran?” Saeyoung spun around in his desk chair to face his brother. 

“I decided on a place to move to.” 

Saeyoung was immediately filled with excitement. “Really?! Tell me, tell me!” 

Saeran blushed at his enthusiasm. “I decided I want to move to France—” 

“Oh! Are we moving to Paris, the city of love?” Saeyoung asked dreamily. 

“No, and don’t interrupt. Jeez, you really are a romantic…” Saeran huffed. “I want to move to Montpellier.” 

It made sense that his brother would want to move somewhere calmer than a big city. 

“I’ve been there before. I didn’t get to do much touring but i did read up on the place. It’s got lots of fun things to do. You picked a nice place.” Saeyoung smiled. 

“I’m glad you like it. So you speak French?” 

“Yep. I’m fluent. I can help teach you if you want?” 

“Yeah that sounds good…” Saeran smiled a bit. “I’ll learn quickly so we can leave as soon as possible.”

“Sounds good.” Saeyoung giggled. 

Saeran paused a bit. “I think I’ll go to bed soon.”

“Ahh, I’ve probably done enough work tonight, I can turn in a little early.” Saeyoung got up from his chair and stretched. 

They walked to Saeran’s room.

Saeyoung sat down on the bed. He noticed his brother’s silence. “Is there something on your mind?” He asked. 

“You’re going to hang out with Yoosung…?” Saeran asked. 

‘Oh, right. He’s watching the messenger.’ Saeyoung remembered. “Yeah, but just online. It’ll be just like chatting on the messenger.” 

Saeran stayed silent. 

Saeyoung sighed. “Saeran!” He grabbed his brother’s arm and pulled him onto the bed. 

“Hey—!” 

Saeyoung cuddled Saeran’s arm. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m yours forever.” He whispered. 

Saeran blushed at the display of affection. He finally felt a little more comfortable. 

Saeyoung looked up at his brother. “It’s healthy to have friends, Saeran.” 

“I know…” Saeran sighed. “I also know that I’m a bad person for wanting to confine you.” 

“You’re not a bad person! They’re your desires, what matters is that you don’t actually isolate me from the rest of the world.” Saeyoung explained. “You can’t control your desires, but you can control your actions. And I think it was lots of progress for you to let me on the messenger.” 

“I still monitor you, though.” 

“Uh, baby steps?” Saeyoung shrugged. “I don’t really mind that much. Some day, when you join the messenger, you’ll be able to see everything anyway. Plus you don’t monitor my calls and texts.” 

“I just don’t want to drive you away…with all my weird feelings.” Saeran looked down at his lap. 

“You could never drive me away, Saeran. I’ll love you forever.” He nuzzled into his brother and paused. “To be honest, owning me probably isn’t that healthy either, but we can keep that our little secret.” Saeyoung winked. 

Saeran felt his cheeks heat up. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” 

The two of them climbed under the covers and embraced each other, turning the lights out to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh a fluff chapter. Poor Saeyoung is still in heavy denial of what happened. They’re both trying to stay calm of their feelings, but they’ll become overwhelmed again eventually. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. Abnormal Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeran and Saeyoung talk about their new home.

Saeran and Saeyoung sat on the bed with Saeran’s laptop in front of them. 

“And Montpellier is apparently known for having lots of nice, local bakeries and other small restaurants.” Saeran explained. 

“That sounds nice! We could go out and have pastry dates whenever we wanted!” Saeyoung clapped his hands together in delight. 

Saeran blushed a little at the word date. He didn’t know why but it gave him an comfortable tingling inside. Maybe it was the way that it implied that it’d be just the two of them together. A quiet outing with his brother sounded fun. 

“I’d like that.” Saeran agreed. “I like sweet things a lot.” 

“Same here! Wow, it’s almost like we’re twins!” Saeyoung joked. 

Saeran sighed in reply. “We _are_ twins, hyung.” He played along. 

“Eh?! Really? I must be the luckiest man on earth to have you as my twin!” Saeyoung wrapped his arms around his brother and squeezed. 

Saeran laughed a little. “Knock it off.” He said lightly. He didn’t really want to contact to end. 

Saeyoung released his brother from his grip. “Alright, alright.” He breathed a sigh of content. “I really am lucky to have you. I don’t want to imagine a world where I wasn’t born with my other half.” 

Saeran listened to him quietly. 

“I’m even luckier that you forgave me, and that you let me belong to you.” He continued. “I’m the luckiest human being to ever live.” 

Saeran paused at those words. Saeyoung was happy to belong to him, and he was happy to have Saeyoung, but was it really okay? Saeyoung had said that a relationship like that probably wasn’t completely healthy. 

“Hyung, is it really okay for you to belong to me?” 

“What do you mean?” Saeyoung asked, confused. Did Saeran not want to own him anymore?

“You said that it wasn’t normal to want to possess another person. Am I hurting you by being this way?” 

“No! No, not at all!” Saeyoung exclaimed. 

“But my desires are so bad…I want to lock you up just for me, that’s not healthy at all. Isn’t it bad for you to be around me?” 

“I want to be with you, Saeran! And you don’t do things against my will or to hurt me, I think it’s fine that we’re together!” Saeyoung insisted. 

“But part of me still does want to hurt you. To make you feel all the pain I felt when you left me.” Saeran lowered his head in shame. “You’re always so nice to me…and I’m so weird. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve this happiness.” 

“Don’t say that, Saeran.” He wrapped his brother in a warm embrace. “You’ve already lived a lifetime of suffering, now you’re allowed to be happy.” 

Saeran melted into the hug. “But what if I deserved everything that happened. Maybe I was just meant to suffer. I’m just bringing you down by being around you. You deserve so much more than me.” 

“But Saeran, you’re all I want.” Saeyoung wrapped his arms tighter around his brother. 

“I’m scared, Saeyoung. If our relationship really isn’t healthy, will we become like Rika and V…?”

“Saeyoung pursed his lips together. “We’re nothing like them.” 

“But you bathe me in unconditional love, and I want to hurt you.” 

Saeyoung paused. It was true that he’d stay with Saeran even if he tortured and destroyed him, and in that sense it resembled V and Rika. But that was just a surface level comparison. 

“It’s different. My love for you isn’t like art. I don’t want to fix you, I want you just as you are.” Saeyoung’s love ran so much deeper than art. He loved Saeran for Saeran. “Maybe I used to be a bit obsessed with loving you as an angel and idolizing you, but you helped me see that you’re just a person, too. I want you for who you are.” 

“But you shouldn’t! I’m weird and crazy…I’m not good like you are.” He felt a tear slip down his cheek. 

Saeyoung sighed. “I’m not good at all…even if you want to possess me, I also want to be possessed. That makes me just as abnormal.” 

“Than if both our loves are bad, doesn’t that make it worse…?” 

Saeyoung drew his brother closer to his chest. “I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks about our love. Even if we aren’t normal, I think it’s alright as long as we’re both happy.” 

“Is it okay for us to be happy like this?” 

“I believe it’s okay. I don’t know about what the normal amount of love a person should have for their sibling is, but I know for sure that my love is real, and that I want to be with you no matter what.” Saeyoung planted a light kiss on his brother’s forehead. “So no more talk about not deserving love, okay? I’ll always give it to you no matter what.” 

Saeran nodded his head to show that he understood. 

They hugged each other for a while before Saeyoung spoke again. 

“Tell me more about Montpellier. I want to know more about our future home.” 

Saeran nodded. He opened up some tabs on his laptop. “There the Place de la Comedie that is lined with shops and things to do. There’s also some nice places for a picnic. Montpellier also has a really nice zoo. I’ve never been to one but I think it’d be really fun to go.” 

“The is really fun! I’ve only been once on a mission, but there’s lots of cool animals.” 

“There’s also a really nice art museum that I’d like to visit.” 

“I’ve been to an art museum once on a mission, the paintings are all gorgeous! People can really make such amazing things.” 

“Have you had missions everywhere?” It seemed like Saeyoung had a mission story for every situation. 

Saeyoung laughed a bit. “Half of my job is missions so I’ve had a lot. And they can get pretty crazy too.” He explained. “Enough about missions, tell me more!” 

“Well, there’s actually one really big reason I picked this place…”

“Really? What?” 

“It’s called Jardín des Plantes. It’s a giant botanical garden.” He paused. “I really like flowers and plants. The only thing I miss from Mint Eye was the beautiful garden I got to tend to. It was a really nice place.” Saeran thought of it with a fond expression. 

“You like flowers? I never knew that. You even used to tend to a garden…” He seemed a little distant for a second. “That sounds great. I can’t wait to visit there with you.” He smiled at his brother. 

They went on talking about all the things they wanted in their future home until they became too drowsy to continue.

—-

“Saeran! Come to the garage! There’s something I want to show you!” Saeyoung motioned his brother over. 

Saeran followed in curiosity. 

When he stepped into the garage he was met with a large system of lights and containers holding plants. 

“I made a garage garden!” Saeyoung exclaimed. 

Saeran went silent in surprise. 

“I did lots of research on what you’d need to raise plants indoors. Since I sold off some of my baby cars, there was some extra space in the garage. I bought grow lights, soil, containers, and some flowers that I heard will do well inside.” He explained. “African violets, begonias, cactus, clivia, kalanchoe, and peace lily. Those are the ones I got to start out, but you can tell me if you want more!” 

Saeran looked around at the elaborate set up. 

“I wanted to surprise you. Do you like it?” Saeyoung asked with a smile. 

Saeran suddenly had tears running down his cheeks. 

Saeyoung was freaking out, not knowing what he’d done wrong. ‘You should’ve asked him first, airhead! Now he’s crying and—‘ 

Saeran wrapped Saeyoung in a big hug. 

“Thank you…” He sobbed. 

Saeyoung felt relief at his twin’s touch. “I couldn’t stand it when you said there was actually something about that place that you missed. I want this to be your home, too. Please, tell me if there’s something you want.” 

Saeran nodded. 

When they finished hugging, Saeyoung showed his brother around the garden set up. 

Saeran didn’t know whether or not their love was right, or whether or not he even deserved it. But one thing he knew was that it was warm, and he never wanted to let go of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh sorry for missing yesterday. I was busy making a five page essay for school ugh but finally that’s over. Anyway, here’s the new chapter! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Cockroach

Saeran sat at a table placed in the garage, his French textbook open and placed on the table in front of him. He’d been studying as hard as he could so he’d be fluent by the time Saeyoung had made enough money to leave. 

He liked studying in his garage garden. It helped him clear his head. The gardens at Mint Eye always made him feel better too. 

He heard the door to the garage open and Saeyoung stepped in. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting you.” He walked over to Saeran. “I wanted to see how your French studies were going.” 

“It’s going good so far, I think.” He showed him the notebook he’d been using. “I’ve been working really hard on it. I want to be finished by the time we leave.” 

Saeyoung laughed. “I’m glad you’re enthusiastic about this, too.” He smiled fondly at his brother. “Is there anything I can help with?” 

“Is there any chance you could start giving me lessons? Using the textbook is fine but I think lessons would be better.” It’d also be a great chance to spend time with his brother. 

“Yeah! I’m sure I could make time for that. It sounds fun! Could you let me see where you are in your lessons?” 

Saeran showed him his progress. 

“Alright. I’ll think up a good lesson plan for you.” He grinned. 

“Thanks. I think it’ll really help.” 

Saeran resumed studying and Saeyoung watched him silently until he had to leave to prepare lunch. 

—-

Saeran laid in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was evening now and his brother was busy hacking, so he had some time alone. 

‘Saeyoung is so nice.’ He thought. ‘He’s always so willing to help me. He’s really selfless, I’m sure he’d do anything I asked.’ 

He turned over onto his side. ‘I need to do better.’ His brother was selfless, but what was he? ‘I’m nothing but selfish.’ 

He thought about his desires. ‘I want him all to myself, but I’m sure he’d be sad to lose his friends. I don’t want to make him sad…’ he wanted him and his brother to only have happy times from now on. 

‘I need to be better. I want to give back to him and provide for him too. I don’t want our love to be one-sided.’ 

He thought about his brother working so hard to earn money for them. ‘He stays up late working just for me, he works so hard.’

An idea dawned on him. 

‘What if I helped him with his job…?’ He was a hacker too, he could help his brother so he didn’t have such a big workload. 

He sprang up off the bed and walked to Saeyoung’s hacking room. 

“Saeran! So nice of you to visit me~” Saeyoung joked. “Did you need something?” 

“Hyung, I just had an idea.” 

“What?” 

“You said I’m a good hacker, right?” 

“You’re a phenomenal hacker! I’ve never seen someone so good. You really must’ve put everything you had into it.” Saeyoung really admired his brother’s work ethic. 

“Well, if I’m really that good, why don’t I help you with your Agency work?” 

Saeyoung’s stomach dropped. 

“That way you could have more time to sleep and have fun. We could split the hacking work—“

“No. Absolutely not. Out of the question.” 

Saeran was surprised at his brother’s firm stance. 

“The Agency is a world I don’t want you involved in. It’s a dirty job, and I don’t want you exposed to that kind of thing.” 

“But hyung, I already told you I’m not a good person! You don’t need to worry about me getting ‘corrupted’ or something.” He started getting annoyed. Did his brother still not see him as an equal?

“You told me already—you’re a human, not an angel. But this job isn’t for humans. It’s for cockroaches. The lowest of the low.” He explained. 

“I’m sure I can handle it! I’ve already been exposed to bad things, I’m not weak!” 

“It’s not about being strong or being able to handle it. It’s about not becoming a disgusting roach!” 

“But—but you do it!” Saeran yelled. 

“That’s because I’m a roach just like them!” Saeyoung yelled back, tears starting to form in his eyes. “I’ve become just as filthy and repulsive as they have.” 

Saeran felt his heart seize. Saeyoung was the nicest person he knew. “Hyung…” 

“I don’t want you to see what I do—what I’ve done. I…I don’t want to show you things that’ll make you hate me…” He choked out. 

“No—I don’t hate you anymore!” 

“But you will if you found out! Whatever you’re thinking it is, it’s much _much_ worse.” Saeyoung’s lip quivered. “Just please stay far away from the Agency!” He yelled. 

Saeran didn’t know how to respond. He knew his brother had low self esteem, but he thought of himself as a _cockroach?_ “Hyung, you’re not a bad person…you’re really nice. You took care of me even when I hated you.” 

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve done bad things.” 

“You’re not a cockroach.” 

“I am! All agents are cockroaches!” His lips pursed tightly. 

‘He doesn’t see me as an equal…’ Saeran realized. Even if his brother thought of him as an human now, he could never see him as an equal. Because he considers himself _inferior._

He walked over and embraced his brother’s trembling body. “You’re not a roach. But even if you were, I’d still love you.” 

More tears slid down Saeyoung’s face. “Y-You would?” 

“Yeah. Here, let’s pinky promise.” Saeran stuck his pinky out for his brother. 

Saeyoung hesitated, then finally wrapped his own pinky around Saeran’s. 

“I pinky promise I’ll never hate you again.” Saeran said. 

Saeyoung began to sob, but this time the tears were happy. 

He didn’t want to press Saeyoung further about the Agency issue. “I won’t ask to hack for the Agency again…I just…really wanted to be helpful to you…” 

“You are helpful! You forgiving me is the biggest help you could ever give me! I’m sure it was really hard, but you still did it. So I’m really thankful to you.” 

“But I can’t help but feel like you give me so much, but I don’t give back.” 

“That’s not true! You’ve been helping me with the chores, helping me cook, you let me sleep in your bed so I don’t have nightmares—you help me in plenty of ways!” Saeyoung insisted. 

“Alright…But I still want to do more. So don’t be afraid to ask me for help with things, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“And don’t think of yourself as a cockroach. I even remember Vanderwood say that you were a total pacifist to the point of danger. You’re better than they are, you don’t even want to do the things you do. And you said you only came to the Agency to protect me, so you had good intentions when you joined. Isn’t all that true?” 

“Well…Yeah…” 

Saeran thought a moment. “Alright, I want you to promise me that you won’t think of yourself as a roach anymore. Please?” He stuck out his pinky again. “For me?”

Saeyoung hesitated once again, then wrapped his pinky around his brother’s. 

“Okay.” He mumbled. 

“Let’s go to sleep, you’ve done enough for tonight.” 

Saeyoung followed Saeran back to his room and they went to bed, wrapped in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn’t post for a few days! Hope y’all like this one!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	14. Mission

Vanderwood walked into the hacking room, a manilla envelope in his hand. 

Saeyoung turned to look at him. 

“I’ve got good news and bad news.” Vanderwood informed. “Which do you want first?” 

“Uhh, the bad news?” 

“You got a mission.” Vanderwood threw the envelope in front of him. 

Saeyoung had been largely avoiding missions lately. He wanted to be alive for his brother, so he was trying to keep the danger to a minimum. 

“Is it a dangerous one?” 

“No. It’s actually pretty safe.” Vanderwood crossed his arms. “But it’s the kind you don’t like.” 

Oh no. 

“No…it’s not _that_ kind of mission, is it?” 

“I’m afraid so. And they’re really pressing for you to do this one. Apparently another agent failed to retrieve this information and the client was not happy. They demanded an S-ranked agent that specializes in infiltration. The whole Agency’s under pressure right now, they really need you.” 

Saeyoung groaned. “And what’s the good news?” 

“Open the envelope and read it.” 

He tore open the envelope and removed the contents, skimming over the lines of text. 

“Woah.” 

“Yep.” 

“They’re paying _that much?_ ” Saeyoung’s eyes were widened in disbelief. 

“I told you, the Agency is under huge pressure right now. They really need you, so they’re tripling the pay that the client offered. _and_ they’re offering two months off on top of that.”

“Holy shit. With this…me and Saeran would almost have enough to leave!” He began to smile. “And it's a pretty easy mission, my survival is almost guaranteed!”

“Mhm. You you’re taking it?” Vanderwood asked. 

“Yes, of course!” They could leave sooner than planned if he got this much. 

‘Thank god.’ The Agency would have his head on a stick if he couldn’t convince his colleague to take this one. 

Saeyoung’s face soon fell and he groaned. “ _Ugh_ I hate seduction missions so much. I always feel filthy after them.” 

“I know. But endure it for that sweet, sweet paycheck.” 

Saeyoung sighed. “Yeah, alright.” 

“Great. You’ve got two weeks to gather intel. This target likes bold, playful girls.” 

“Alright. A sexy dress and a flirty attitude, got it.” 

Saeyoung couldn’t focus on his work after that. He was thinking about his future life with Saeran far, far away from South Korea. 

—-

Saeran heard himself being talked about in the kitchen. He hid around the corner and listened in. 

“Never, ever tell this to Saeran, alright?” Saeyoung said. 

“Why?” 

“Doesn’t matter! Just don’t tell my brother where I’m going tonight. He can _never_ know. Swear to god you won’t say a word.” 

“I don’t believe in god.”

“Swear to the barrel of a .44 gun.” He changed, through gritted teeth. 

“Fine, fine, go easy on me. I won’t tell him.” Vanderwood sighed. “Are you just going to sneak out? Don’t you sleep with him at night?” 

“I’ll make something up.” 

“What will you do if he finds out?” Vanderwood asked. 

“Ritual Seppuku.”

“Excuse me?” 

“An ancient form of samurai suicide where you disembowel yourself to bring honor back to your family.” Saeyoung explained. 

“Wait, that’s a joke right? You wouldn’t actually commit suicide over something like this, right? Why don’t you look like you’re kidding??”

“Vanderwood, after I disembowel myself, I want you to be the person to cut my head off and end my suffering.” 

“You’re actually not kidding?!” 

“I-I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if Saeran ever found out I did things like this!” He gripped his chest at the thought. “He wouldn’t want a brother like me if he found out anyway!” 

“You’re being too dramatic. You don’t even _want_ to do it. Plus, this time you’re only doing it for him. I’m sure he wouldn’t throw you out for something like this!” 

“Even so…He just can’t find out! End of story!” 

Saeran rushed back to his bedroom so he wouldn’t be caught eavesdropping. 

‘What could be so bad that hyung would rather die than let me know…?’ He wondered to himself. ‘Vanderwood even said he’d be doing it for my sake…just what could he be doing?’ 

A few minutes later, he got a knock at his door. 

“Come in.” He answered. 

Saeyoung opened the door and stepped inside. “Hey, Saeran! I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to be out all night running errands, but I’ll definitely be back by morning. But you’ll be alone in the house tonight. Is that okay?” 

“Where are you going?” He tried asking. 

“I’m going to go meet with one of the potential buyers of one of my cars and let them have a test drive. They live pretty far away, so I won’t be back until pretty early in the morning.” 

“Alright.” 

“Great! I promise I’ll be back by the time you wake up!” He smiled. “I promise.” More affirming himself than anything. 

“Okay.” 

Saeyoung left not long after that. 

Saeran was left to himself to contemplate his brother’s words. A car sale in the middle of the night was an obvious lie, but he was sure his brother would’ve figured out how to convince him if he hadn’t known ahead of time. 

‘What does he want to hide so badly?’ He would’ve confronted his brother angrily from the get-go about keeping secrets from him had Saeyoung not sounded so terrified in the kitchen earlier. 

‘Hyung, what kind of thing are you going to do for me…?’ 

He began to get worried. 

‘Is it something dangerous?’ Saeyoung had said promised they’d be together forever so he wasn’t going to do anything life threatening. ‘Then again he told me he wouldn’t lie anymore either…’

He knew he was being unrealistic, but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing his brother again. He finally decided that he’d spy on his brother from the bathroom at night to see if he could learn anything more about the situation. 

—-

Saeran crouched on the bathroom tile and peaked through the crack in the door. 

Saeyoung had been in his room getting ready for hours. Vanderwood was sitting on the couch looking impatient. 

He thought he might actually fall asleep from waiting until his brother’s room door opened. Saeran nearly fainted from surprise at what he saw. 

His brother wearing a risqué evening gown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AERIN IT’S HAPPENING
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone!


	15. Dresses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There’s a masturbation scene in this chapter. Though I put it in the tags so y’all probably don’t need a warning but whatevs.

Saeyoung was wearing a black evening gown with an empire waistline. The skirt went to his ankles, with two long slits in the sides rising all the way to the tops of his thighs, but still hiding the muscles in his legs. The bust had a halter top, with chiffon sleeves that reached his wrists. Red jewels decorated the waistline.

It was, to say the least, a very sexy dress. 

His wig was red, reminiscent of his natural hair color. He wore golden jewelry with rubies to match, and they brought out his eyes and the color of his hair. His kitten heels didn’t accentuate his height too much, but were very feminine. He wore soft red eye makeup and his lips were painted crimson. 

Saeran’s eyes were wide with shock. ‘He looks just like a real woman…he’s so pretty.’ 

He couldn’t stop staring at his brother’s thighs, he felt so hot on the inside looking at Saeyoung in his outfit. He gnawed at his lower lip. 

“How do I look?” Saeyoung asked his colleague in a hushed tone. 

“Perfect. Let’s take a photo for your portfolio then we can get going.” Vanderwood took out his phone. 

“I’ll be leaving the Agency soon anyway, do I really need a photo?” 

“The Agency doesn’t know that so it’s better safe than sorry. It’s unbelievable that a man can look so good in a dress, clients need evidence to believe you. That’s how it’s always been—that’s what the portfolio is for.” 

“Fine.” 

Saeyoung leaned over the couch in a provocative pose and Vanderwood snapped a photo on Saeyoung’s phone. Saeran couldn’t help but get hard seeing his brother pose in such a sexy way. 

“I’ll add these to the portfolio.” Saeyoung went to his hacking room for a few minutes before returning. “Alright, let’s go.” 

Saeyoung and Vanderwood left. 

Saeran finally opened the bathroom door and crawled out. He was breathing heavily, still in shock by what he’d seen. 

His erection was highly uncomfortable, and he was unsure of why his body was reacting in such a way. 

‘Portfolio…there are more photos like that…?’ 

Saeran snuck to Saeyoung’s hacking room and began cracking into his computer. 

He’d promised his brother he would stay away from his work things, but some indescribable force was pushing him to get those photos. ‘I’m sorry hyung…!’ 

The folder was heavily encrypted, and took about 30 minutes to fully hack. He quickly copied the contents onto his phone and eliminated all traces of hacking from his brother’s computer. 

He rushed back to his bedroom and shut the door. Saeran jumped onto his bed and immediately opened the photos app. His thumb hovered hesitantly over the album, but he finally entered it. 

He was met with at least a hundred photos of his brother in dresses. There were about 4-5 taken per costume, all in different sexy poses. 

He looked at the photos from tonight, his erection growing again at the sight. He couldn’t see his brother too well from the bathroom, but he was given a perfect view of Saeyoung’s body in these images. 

His breaths were heavy and his his chest was tight. His hand wandered down to his hardened cock and he rubbed it from through the fabric of his jeans, moaning lightly at the sensation. 

He unzipped his pants and freed his erection from his underwear. Saeran licked his dry lips and began to stroke himself, his eyes focused on the photos in front of him. 

Saeran wished his brother were here in person, still clad in that provocative dress. He moaned at the thought of his brother modeling for him, showing every part of his body to him. 

“Hyung… _ah_ …” 

He remembered the time when he had Saeyoung pinned under him, and fantasized about doing it again. He’d leave more marks all over his brother’s body, and moaned at the imagery of the hickeys showing next to the fabric of the dress. He stroked himself faster. 

He thought of his brother’s thighs, and wished he could see the rest of his brother’s behind in person. If only he had Saeyoung with him right now—he’d caress every part of his body with reverence. 

Saeran’s breaths were ragged, sharp, and uneven as he thrust his hips into his hands. The warmth kept pooling in his groin and he finally met release, cum spilling into his hand. 

He panted heavily, wiping the cum from his hand with a tissue. 

Once the high of his orgasm passed, he was met with the realization of what he’d just done. His sexual feelings for his brother had been shoved in his face, and now couldn’t look away from them. 

He thought at first it might just be the dress Saeyoung wore, but remembered getting hard when he’d pinned Saeyoung to the bed. At that time, there was no sexy outfit or costume—it was purely his brother. 

Saeran imagined Saeyoung pinned under him once again, without the costume this time. What would he want in that situation? He’d want to slowly strip his brother from his clothing and see his nude body in all it’s glory. 

He was a virgin, but had seen porn, and knew the way men had sex. He imagined reenacting those scenes with Saeyoung. Teasing his nipples, biting his neck, kissing him passionately. Then Saeran imagined taking his brother, hips thrusting into him. 

His hand reached for his cock again, and began touching himself once more. 

He’d want to make his twin feel good too, and to listen to his moans like they were sweet music. Saeran would look into his golden eyes, hazy with lust, and kiss him fiercely, swirling his tongue into his mouth. 

If only he could feel his brother’s warmth under him, if only he were thrusting into Saeyoung’s anus and not his hand. He’d feel so alive having sex with his twin. 

“ _Hngh…hah—!_ ” 

He met climax once again, this orgasm much more intense than the first. 

But soon after the high wore off, he began to wonder what Saeyoung would think of him for doing this. 

“Saeyoung…I’m sorry…” He whispered. 

Saeyoung would probably think he was disgusting, there’s no way he’d accept these feelings of his. 

‘My love is so much more twisted than I thought.’ Incest was wrong, that much he understood. Saeyoung was the forbidden fruit that he could never bite into. 

He cleaned up and took a cold shower, trying to rid his mind of these thoughts. 

Once Saeran finished, he became curious of the other photos in Saeyoung’s portfolio. 

His brother had worn many outfits, from maid costumes to evening gowns—an array of personas. 

But then Saeran began to wonder…why was Saeyoung wearing these sexy costumes to begin with?

‘Honeypot missions.’ Saeran realized. He’d seen them a few times in spy movies, where a female would seduce information out of men or steal it while they were asleep. ‘Is that the thing he wanted to hide so bad?’ It was an extremely dirty job, it was understandable he’d want to keep it secret. 

He was comforted by the fact that Saeyoung would never be able to actually sleep with the men, since they’d figure out he was a male if he did. But the thought of his brother seducing other men was an infuriating one. 

‘But this time, he’s doing it for me.’ Plus Saeyoung apparently didn’t even like those jobs. It was all for the money and nothing else. 

Did Saeyoung really think Saeran would abandon him over something like this? 

Saeyoung got younger the farther back he got in the album. He reached the end of the portfolio. The earliest photo was his brother in a skimpy belly dancing costume. ‘How old was he in this?’ He checked the photos metadata and found that it was from four years ago. ‘Only 17…’ The Agency had forced Saeyoung to do jobs like that at such a young age?

He laid awake for hours feeling sorry for his brother. He really had gone through so much while he was away. He finally fell into a dreamless sleep. 

—-

Saeyoung creeped into Saeran’s room, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb his brother’s sleep. 

He leaned down at his brother’s bedside. “I’m sorry, Saeran.” He whispered. “I’ll never do something like that again.” 

Saeran roused from his sleep at the light noise. “Hyung…?” 

“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just got home.” He’d actually been home for a while now, but he’d been taking off his costume and taking a long shower. No matter how hard he scrubbed, he couldn’t remove the filth from his body. 

So he came to his brother for cleansing, because his brother was his salvation. Everything was okay as long as he had Saeran. “Can I lay down next to you?” He asked gently. 

Saeran moved over in the bed to make room for his twin. 

“I love you, Saeran.” He whispered, laying down beside him. 

“I love you too, Saeyoung.” Saeran replied. He thought of how scared Saeyoung was of him ever learning the truth about today. He held his brother close in a reassuring embrace. 

Saeyoung shed a quiet tear. “Thank you…” 

If it was for his brother, everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I finally got to write something explicit!! I hope it was good enough! Saeran finally realizes his feelings lol. It’s only a matter of time before Saeyoung does too and Pining finally comes to a close. I hope you’ll stick around ‘til then!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	16. To Protect this Life

Saeyoung laid on his bed, thinking to himself. He’d been feeling depressed these last few days, mainly because of the mission he’d recently executed. It made him feel dirty, and he loathed the memory of those well groomed big businessmen or the leaders of large crime syndicates. Pretending to want to have sex with these men made the missions even more disgusting. 

But worst of all was the fact that he was _good_ at these missions, and had a reputation for it within the Agency’s network of clients. 

He’d always been a good actor; he’d acted every day of his life after leaving his brother. He wore a mask the entire time. The mask of indifference, then the mask of a smile—all hiding the true feelings hidden underneath. He thought he’d continue living like that every day of his life, but that was before his brother came back. 

Saeran changed everything. He saved him from the unsatisfying life he’d been living, and the early death he’d inevitably have faced as an agent. 

Being with Saeran always made him feel better, but it also always made him feel guilt gnawing in his stomach. Not only the fact that he’d done something so dirty, but also that he’d lied to his brother about it. He sometimes thought about coming clean to his twin, that he might feel better that way. But the idea of his brother being disgusted at him kept him from acting on those fleeting impulses. 

‘I feel dirty, maybe I should take a shower.’ Saeyoung thought. He’d always loved hot showers. On days like this, when he felt filthy from his job, he’d make the water scalding hot, until it made his skin turn red. It felt nice to him, almost like it was burning the muck away. In the Bible, both fire and water were seen as cleansing. Hot water was the closest he could get. 

He also liked warm showers because it was something he wasn’t allowed to have as a child. When he and Saeran were children, they had to take freezing cold showers. They had to be quick too, lest they catch a cold. 

But even though the showers were cold, he still enjoyed the small moments alone with his brother. He remembered they’d wash each other’s hair, and it was such a relaxing feeling. 

Then an idea hit him. Maybe he’d feel clean after a warm shower with his brother. 

Saeran was his salvation and savior, after all. If anything could make him feel better, it was Saeran. 

He hopped out of bed and and trotted to his brother’s room, knocking on the door. 

“Come in.” He heard from inside, and opened the door. 

“Saeran, I just had a great idea!” He skipped to his brother and sat on the bed. 

“What?” Saeran asked. 

“Do you wanna take a shower with me? It’ll be just like when we were children! We can wash each other’s hair and everything! Doesn’t that sound nice?” 

Saeran looked at him in surprise. That did sound nice to him. But then he realized he’d be all alone with Saeyoung completely nude in the shower. There was no way he’d be able to hold back an erection in front of his brother’s naked body. He bit his lip, and tried to keep down the image of his brother nude. 

He had to reject him. 

“Saeyoung, we aren’t children anymore. We’re adults. We can’t do things like that.” Saeran replied calmly. ‘I think of you in too much of an adult way…’ he added in his head. Truthfully, he’d still been masturbating to the thought of his twin in secrecy. 

Saeran didn’t really care about the morality of it all, but he knew Saeyoung would. His love would never be accepted by the world, let alone by his brother. He had to keep these feelings locked up in a place where they wouldn’t hurt his relationship with Saeyoung. 

Saeyoung’s face fell in disappointment. “Oh…yeah…you’re right. We’re adults now…” 

Saeran felt bad about rejecting his twin. “What was so good about our childhood anyway? You glorify it too much. There are plenty of things we can do together now that we never could as children. Like we can watch movies together, eat ice cream together, play games together—all whenever we want. Let’s do something like that instead.” They were trapped as kids, but now they’re free as adults to do whatever they wanted. 

Saeyoung perked up immediately. “That sounds like fun. Do you want to have a movie night with me?” Spending time with his brother in itself was cleansing, it didn’t need to be a shower. 

“Yeah, sure.” Saeran answered. He was glad he could make his brother feel better so easily. 

“Okay! I can go make snacks right now. Do you have any preference on what movie we watch?” 

“Not really. I haven’t gotten the chance to watch very many movies anyway.” 

“Is a comedy okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alright! I’ll choose something for us. I’ll find something that will split your sides open!” 

Saeran smiled at his brother’s enthusiasm. “Alright. That sounds good.” 

Saeyoung bounced up and began walking to the kitchen to start getting ready. 

He was really glad his brother didn’t take the rejection too hard. And now he was about to have a fun movie night with Saeyoung! He was sure this would be a good day. 

Saeran had to make sure this happiness lasted, in order to have more good times like this. He couldn’t let their relationship be hurt by his disgusting, unrequited feelings. So he’ll keep them bottled up inside, and act on them only in private when his brother wasn’t looking. He wouldn’t destroy this peace that they were building together. 

He’d protect this life no matter what the cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Saeran doesn’t know is that those feelings aren’t unrequited. Even Saeyoung doesn’t know it lmao. Eventually they’ll learn the truth, but this fic wouldn’t be called Pining if there wasn’t a ton of pining first lol. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	17. Meet the RFA

It was about an hour ago that Saeran approached his brother. 

“Hyung, I think I’m ready to join the RFA chat now.” 

Now Saeyoung was downloading the full RFA app onto Saeran’s phone. 

“I’m done!” He chirped when finished. 

Saeran picked up his cellphone from the table. 

“I’ll log on first and let them know you’re coming!” Saeyoung pulled out his own phone and tapped on the messenger icon. Luckily, everyone was on. 

[707 has joined the chat] 

707: GUYS

707: I HAVE A BIG SURPRISE

Yoosung: A surprise?

MC: is it SEVENSTAR DRINK? 

707: lol no 

707: It’s way better. 

Jaehee Kang: should I be worried?

Jumin Han: The natural assumption would be yes. 

Zen: Hey don’t be an ass. It might not be something weird. 

Jumin Han: Luciel has been much more tame lately. 

707: Aw how sweet of you to notice! 

707: And it isn’t something weird! It’s the most wonderful thing in the whole wide universe! 

MC: Oh! I think I know what it is^^ 

707: Drumroll please!

MC: BDBDBDBDBDBDBD

707: I present to you!! 

[Ray has joined the chat]

707: My little brother! 

MC: RAY! 

Ray: Hi MC…

MC: It’s so good to see you again! 

Ray: Really? It’s good to see you too! 

707: Yep haha everyone sees everyone and that’s good!

Saeyoung was already feeling a bit jealous. He’d suspected that he’d feel this way eventually but didn’t think just a simple greeting would make his stomach tighten. 

Yoosung: Wow! Seven’s brother! 

Yoosung: Hi! 

Jaehee Kang: Hello. It’s nice to meet you. 

Zen: Hi!

Jumin Han: Greetings. 

Ray: Hi everyone 

Ray: It’s good to finally meet you all. 

Yoosung: I’m Yoosung! 

Zen: My name’s Zen! 

Ray: I already know all of you. 

707: This is your first official meeting with them! 

707: If V were here I’d ask him to make you an official member of RFA but he’s still out of the country. 

Not to mention that Saeyoung and Saeran would have to leave the RFA once they flee the country, so he wouldn’t be a member for very long anyway. 

707: But for now you can just become everyone’s official friend! 

Ray: I’m glad…I haven’t had friends since I went to church school. 

707: ^^ 

Yoosung: It’s nice to meet you! 

Zen: We’ve been really curious about you since Seven told us he had a little bro

Zen: But he’s been pretty tight-lipped about you. 

MC: Unless he’s fangirling about something you did. 

MC: Or praising you. 

Zen: He actually never shuts up about you 

Zen: But he hasn’t told us much about you otherwise 

Ray: I hope we can get to know each other then.

MC: It’s been so long since we last talked! You really worried me our last conversation together! 

MC: I’m glad you’re alright. And I’m glad you’ve reunited with Luciel! 

Ray: I’m glad too…sorry for worrying you back then… 

MC: It’s fine! You’re brother worried me a lot too after you two reunited. He’s such a strong person but he’s as sensitive as a pre-teen girl when it comes to you! 

Ray: Really?

707: Hey! 

707: I am not a pre-teen girl! 

707: I’m AT LEAST a teenager! 

MC: Sure you are, Seven. 

Jumin Han: I have to agree with MC. 

Jumin Han: **When you talk about your brother, it reminds me of how a pre-teen girl talks about her crush.**

Zen: How would you know what a pre-teen sounds like?

Jumin Han: Television. 

Yoosung: Haha Seven as a pre-teen girl 

707: Stop dragging me in front of my lil bro! 

707: Stop talking about me talking about him and talk to him! 

Ray: Hyung it's fine really. 

Zen: No, he’s right! We should be making you feel as welcome as possible right now! 

Zen: Welcome to RFA, Ray! 

Zen: Any brother of Seven is a brother to me! 

707: Woah. 

707: Are you tryna pick a fight right now? 

Zen: What?

707: I will literally fight you. 

Jaehee Kang: This is escalating quickly. 

Zen: What did I do?

707: There can only be one. 

Zen: ??? 

MC: He doesn’t like that you said Ray is your brother. 

707: He already has a brother! He doesn’t need a fake one! 

Ray: Hyung, you’re still my brother regardless, it’s okay. 

707: It’s not okay! 

707: I’ll fight him to the death to stay your brother! 

Saeran walked over to where Saeyoung sat on the couch and took his place beside him. He leaned over and wrapped his arms around his brother’s shoulders, holding onto him lightly. 

Saeyoung’s breath caught in his throat at the contact. He couldn’t help but melt into his brother’s embrace immediately. 

“You’ll always be my one and only brother, hyung. These people are just friends.” Saeran spoke softly into his ear. “There’s no need to be jealous of them.” 

Saeyoung looked down. “You’re right…my one and only brother.” He snuggled into Saeran. “But still…having the privilege of being your brother is so special, I don’t want to share it with anyone else.” 

“You don’t need to fight anyone for it, though. No one’s going to usurp your title as my brother. Just tell them you don’t want them calling me their brother.” Saeran insisted, to which Saeyoung responded with a pout of faux indignance. 

They turned their attention back to their phones. 

707: Okay, maybe no fighting, but you can’t be brothers. 

Zen: That’s fine, geez. 

MC: I feel the need to say that even if Ray was like brothers with anyone in RFA, you’d still have a higher position since you’re the only twin. 

This lifted Saeyoung’s spirit greatly. 

707: That’s right!

707: Me and Ray are much more than brothers!

707: We’re each other’s ‘other half’! Two parts of the same person! 

Yoosung: What’s it like being a twin? 

Yoosung: I think it’d feel weird to have someone that looked exactly like you. 

707: It’s like being born with a best friend. Or a soulmate! Someone that’s always been there for you even since birth. 

MC: That’s pretty neat! 

Jumin Han: You two seem very close. 

Jumin Han: Which is good, since I remember that he hated you right after reuniting. 

Ray: That was…because of Rika. 

Ray: She told me a lot of lies about him. 

Ray: Like that he abandoned me for a better life and forgot all about me.

Ray: But now I know those things aren’t true. 

MC: I’m glad! 

Jumin Han: Familial love truly is wonderful. 

Jumin Han: By the way, I seem to recall you were quite a proficient hacker. 

Jumin Han: It’d be great to have such a talented person working at our intelligence unit. 

MC: I can just see Jaehee shaking her head no. 

Jaehee Kang: You are correct, as usual. 

Jaehee Kang: I don’t recommend a job working at C&R. 

Zen: Of course trust fund kid would use this opportunity to further his company instead of sincerely welcoming our new friend. 

Ray: It’s fine

Ray: it’d be nice helping hyung make money but I shouldn’t sign any contracts. 

They’d be leaving very soon, after all. He could find a job in France. 

Jumin Han: You’re always welcome to a job if you reconsider. 

MC: Anyway, everyone’s glad to finally meet you. And I’m glad to see you again^^

MC: I almost forgot to mention that I got a letter from V! 

They went on talking for a while until Saeyoung and Saeran had to excuse themselves for dinner. 

“Did you have fun meeting everyone?” Saeyoung asked. 

“Yeah. They were all really nice.” Saeran replied while chopping vegetables. 

“I’m glad. It’s good to have friends. They’re kind of silly, but they’re really good people.” 

Saeran put down his knife and turned to his brother. “Do you think they actually like me, or are they just being polite?” 

“Of course they like you! There’s nothing to be worried about. They’ll like you even more once they get to know you, too.” Saeyoung smiled, his golden eyes shining. “There’s no way they could dislike you, you’re the best person I know.” 

Saeran blushed and he looked down in bashfulness. “Thanks.” He replied peeking back up at his twin. 

They continued making dinner and had a nice meal together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Saeran joins the RFA chat! Saeyoung is happy that his brother isn’t so isolated anymore, but he still gets a bit jealous easily; especially of MC since he found out Saeran had had a crush on her. He’s actually very worried that Saeran will fall back in love with MC but doesn’t say anything because he’s ashamed of those feelings. He’s a little insecure about how important he is to his brother because he knows he belongs to Saeran, but doesn’t know if Saeran is his. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	18. Through Sickness and Health

Days passed normally without incident, until Saeyoung started acting strangely. He seemed to be avoiding Saeran everywhere he went. 

It started one night when they were getting ready for bed. Saeyoung came in to tell him that he wanted to sleep in his own room for a while. Saeran was curious, but let it go. He figured his brother might just want time to himself, even if this was uncharacteristic of him. 

Saeyoung was acting normally, doing his work like he usually does at night, but Saeran couldn’t help but notice him looking tired and sluggish. But when he asked his brother if he was okay, he was brushed off with an ‘I’m fine’. 

He also hadn’t been joining Saeran for meals. He said he wasn’t hungry and that he’d eat the leftovers later, but when Saeran checked the fridge, the leftovers were untouched. 

Today was the last straw. He walked into the kitchen, expecting to see his brother making dinner. But instead, he found Vanderwood stirring a pot over the stove. 

“Why are you cooking today?” 

“707 asked me if I could make food whenever you weren’t for the next few days. He’s been diligent with his work so I said yes.” 

Saeran became quiet and looked at his feet. 

“Something wrong?” Vanderwood stopped stirring to look at Saeran. 

“I think hyung is avoiding me.” He admitted. 

“He is. He’s quarantining himself.” Vanderwood took a clean spoon and tasted the soup he was making, and muttered something about adding more ginger. 

“Quarantine? What do you mean?” Saeran asked. 

Vanderwood clicked his tongue. “I’m not really supposed to tell you…but he’s doing it for your sake.” 

This made Saeran angry. Saeyoung was always doing things for his sake without ever consulting him first. It was like he didn’t trust him enough to share his problems. 

Then a thought suddenly occurred to him. 

What if he’d found out? About the pictures and the masturbating, what if he’d found out about everything and was now avoiding him because of it? And now he was trying to salvage their broken relationship by hiding away from him. 

Now Saeyoung hated him and it was all because of his fucked up feelings. And now Saeyoung has to reject him for both of their sakes. 

“Oh god…it’s all my fault.” Saeran muttered, panicking. 

“What? Godammit what is with you two and jumping to guilty conclusions? You didn’t do anything, he’s avoiding you because he doesn’t want to get you sick.” 

“Hyung is sick?” Saeran asked in disbelief. 

“He didn’t tell me at first either. But he nearly passed out yesterday from the fever and I had to send him to bed.” Vanderwood explained. 

“He almost passed out?! He’s that sick?!” 

“It’s just a common cold, nothing to worry about. The problem is that he won’t rest. The deadline for his current job is coming up soon so he keeps saying he can keep going.” 

“And you’re just letting him?!”

“I’ve seen him work under worse conditions. He’s so good at hacking that he can work pretty proficiently even with his head all muddled up from fever. Right now he’s resting, and he’s only coming out of his room to work when you’re asleep.” 

“He shouldn’t be working when he’s sick! He should be resting! And we should be taking care of him!”

“I’m trying! He’s resting right now and I’m even making him soup because he hasn’t been able to hold down other food. But the deadline is soon, so there’s nothing we can do about it.” 

“This isn’t okay! He’ll just get worse if he keeps working like that while sick. Sick people need rest.” Saeran said firmly. 

Vanderwood groaned. “Look, I’ll talk to the Agency about the possibility of an extension. He just recently bailed them out of a big situation so I don’t think they’ll refuse.” 

“That’s great! I’ll go tell him.” Saeran turned the other way and Vanderwood grabbed his arm. 

“You’ll just make it worse if you do. If you get sick, he’ll blame himself and get all depressed and I don’t want to deal with that. Plus I was very specifically supposed to keep this a secret from you.” 

“I don’t like that he’s avoiding me because of this. I used to get sick a lot when I was a kid and hyung used to always take care of me. I want to take care of him now that we’re adults.” 

“ _Ugh_ Fine. Just don’t get sick. Here, wear one of these.” Vanderwood handed him a white medical mask. “I’ve been wearing them around him lately and so far I’ve been okay. The soups about ready, go bring him some.” Vanderwood poured some soup into a bowl and handed it to Saeran. 

“Thanks.” Saeran replied, grabbing a spoon from the drawer to his left. 

Saeran departed from the kitchen and walked to his brother’s room. He knocked on the door and opened it. “Hyung…?” 

Saeyoung sat up in his bed groggily, snapping to attention when he realized who was at his door. “Saeran! You shouldn’t be in here!”

“I’ll be fine. Look, I’m wearing one of these.” He pointed to the mask over his nose and mouth. 

Saeyoung’s face turned into a grimace. “She told you I was sick? Dammit…Vanderwood.” 

“He made you soup.” Saeran stepped inside and closed the door, bringing the soup over to his brother. 

“I’m not hungry.” Saeyoung informed, looking down. 

“You need to eat something if you’re going to get better.” Saeran sat down at the edge of the bed. He picked up the spoon. “I’ll feed you like you used to do for me when we were kids.” He gathered some soup on the spoon and leaning over to feed it to Saeyoung. 

“Y-You really don’t have to…” 

“Let me take care of you like you used to for me.” Saeran answered, completely serious. 

“Saeran…you…you don’t owe me anything. I took care of you back then because I wanted to; you don’t need to repay me.” 

“Shut up and eat the soup, hyung. I’m doing this because I want to.” He put the spoon against Saeyoung’s mouth. 

Saeyoung reluctantly accepted the spoon. The soup tasted good, and the hot food felt nice. He blushed at the intimate gesture. “You…really want to take care of me…?” He asked, after waiting some time. 

“Yes. I love you and I don’t want you to feel sick. I want to be there for you, too; I don’t want this relationship to be one-sided, with only you providing for me.” Saeran said. 

“But I don’t feel like I deserve it…” Saeyoung fidgeted with his hands, clearly uncomfortable. 

“You’ve been taking care of me this whole time, even when I hated you. You deserve to be taken care of, too. I _want_ to take care of you because I care about you.” 

Saeyoung felt tears well up in his eyes. He nodded that he understood, too choked up to answer verbally. 

“Here, have more.” Saeran once again brought the spoon to his twin’s mouth, which was accepted easily this time. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” 

“I didn’t want to worry you…” 

“Hyung…Stop doing things like that. I want you to be able to share your problems with me. I’m not a kid anymore, you don’t have to hide things from me for my sake.” 

“Alright.” Saeyoung answered, then paused for some time. “You shouldn’t be around me for too long, you might get sick.” 

“I’ll take a shower right after I leave. And I’m wearing this mask; I think I’ll be fine. Anyway, the sooner you get better the sooner we won’t have to worry about me getting sick. Which means you need to get plenty of rest, no more working at night for the next few days. Vanderwood said he’ll get you an extension on your deadline so don’t worry about work for now.” 

Saeyoung paused for a while. “I’ll take care of you if you get sick, okay? Just in case…” 

Saeran’s mouth dipped into a frown. He didn’t know how much he liked the idea of being taken care of again. He was an adult now, and knew how to take care of himself. But he supposed it wouldn’t be fair to Saeyoung to be like that. “Okay. I don’t think I’ll get sick though; I think I’ve gotten healthier ever since I came to live with you.” He was eating more, and was certainly eating healthier than he used to. 

Saeyoung smiled. He enjoyed doing nice things for his brother. He’d be happy to be able to dote on him until he felt better. But he had to be careful not to smother him with affection, since Saeran wasn’t a little kid anymore. 

Saeran kept feeding his twin until he finished the bowl.

Saeyoung was feeling better already, being in his brother’s presence always made him feel stronger. “Thank you for feeding me. And tell Vanderwood I said thanks for the soup.” 

“Alright.” Saeran pet his brother’s head, which was slightly damp with sweat. “Get better soon, okay? I’ve missed sleeping together with you; it feels lonely in the bed all by myself.” 

“I will. I love you.” Saeyoung smiled fondly at his brother. 

“I love you too.” Saeran replied, his smile showing even beneath his mask. 

Saeyoung got better in the following few days. Saeran took care of him all the while and, miraculously, didn’t end up getting sick. Saeyoung was very glad his brother wouldn’t end up miserable with a cold, too. 

They communicated a lot with each other over the messenger, so they could still chat while Saeran wasn’t in the room. Everyone commended Saeran for being such a nice brother and taking care of Saeyoung, which made Saeran feel nice. 

After Saeyoung began feeling better, they started sleeping together again. And both Saeran and Saeyoung were glad to spend time together freely once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh another fluffy chapter. Saeran gets to take care of his brother a little and Saeyoung gets reassured that he’s deserving of love. 
> 
> I personally think Saeyoung would be very uncomfortable with being taken care of by his twin because he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. I also think that it’s probably something he’s subconsciously wished for ever since he was a kid. I mean, he had to assume so much responsibility as such a young child, there’s no way that could’ve felt good. Maybe that’s one of the reasons he was so trusting of V, because he really wanted to believe someone wanted to take care of him. But that ultimately backfired lol. Things are working out though! 
> 
> Btw have you guys seen V’s after ending?? It was so wonderful for my choicest heart! The forgive ending had me crying, especially at the “It IS you!” That actually killed me lol. The judgement ending also ended with a happy ending which surprisingly matches my fic! I originally started this series because I wanted there to be a happy ending for the twins in V’s route, but I’m glad they got a good end in canon too! 
> 
> Also the scene with Vanderwood and Saeyoung was so dramatic I loved it! It was like my second favorite scene other than the reuniting scene in the forgive ending. Ahhh it was so good I totally recommend it! It costs a lot of hourglasses tho lol.


	19. Saeyoung’s Feelings

Saeyoung awoke that day first. He yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, careful not to move too much lest he wake his brother.

He reached backwards for his phone and checked the time. It was around 8 a.m. and much earlier than they usually woke up. He knew he should get up and start breakfast, but he found the company so warm that he didn’t want to leave, and he snuggled further into his sibling. 

‘I haven’t had a nightmare in months.’ He reflected. His dreams were usually of their childhood, and the good moments they had together. ‘It wasn’t so bad. There was lots of abuse, but I had him there with me.’ He wondered if his brother felt the same way about their past. He was sure that things would have been a lot worse and a lot different had he been born alone. But luckily enough, he was born with a soulmate; they were destined to be together since birth. 

Saeyoung gazed at his brother’s sleeping face, entranced by the beauty of it. He always thought his brother was the cute one. He was so handsome with his snow white skin and his shining eyes, even though they were a different color now. He found such great depth and beauty in them nonetheless. 

His eyes trailed down to Saeran’s lips. They looked so soft and nice. He started imagining what it would be like to kiss them. ‘You’re having weird thoughts again.’ He needed to push those strange thoughts from his mind. His brother would think him weird if he knew about the things that sometimes ran through his head. 

‘I just love him lots and lots, that’s all it is.’ He just loved physical affection with his brother. Hugs and hand holding, kisses and gentle touches—it all made him feel so warm inside. ‘I want things to be like this forever.’ 

But sometimes that gentle warmth grew unbearable hot and uncomfortable. That was when his strange urges were strongest. He’d bite his lip and keep those feelings inside him. He didn’t want to ruin what they had just because he wanted to kiss his brother. 

He tried not to think about those urges too much. Like he did with all his other uncomfortable feelings, he ignored them and tried to bury them deep inside. 

A few times he’d wondered if his brother felt the same way, like that time Saeran had bitten his neck, but he decided that notion unlikely. His brother wasn’t weird like he was. 

‘Saeran…what would you think of you knew?’ A part of him deep inside wanted to confess about these feelings to his brother, since he promised himself he would be honest with him from now on. He hated having to keep secrets from his brother. It hurt him bad enough lying about where he’d been _that night_ , and what he’d been doing. ‘He’d definitely hate me if he knew about that. But everything I do is for him, I hope he understands that.’

He’d kill or die for Saeran; he’d gladly leave everything behind for Saeran. He’d tear the entire goddamn world apart if it meant he could make his brother happy. He loved his twin with all his heart. 

Saeyoung looked lovingly at his brother’s face a few moments longer. Suddenly, he scooted over and pressed his forehead to Saeran’s, his hand stroking the back of his head. “Saeran,” He whispered, “I love you more than the sun and the moon and the stars. You’re my everything. I can’t live in a world without you. Please…never leave my side.” 

Saeran roused at the touch. “Hyung…?” He opened a heavy lid. “Did you say something?” 

Saeyoung smiled fondly and pressed a kiss onto Saeran’s brow. “It was nothing. Go back to sleep, Saeran.” 

His brother gazed at him a while, then snuggled into Saeyoung and closed his eyes once again. 

Saeyoung wrapped his arms loosely around his brother’s shoulders. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Saeran replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve focused a lot on Saeran’s feelings, but I left out Saeyoung’s a bit. He’s definitely attracted to Saeran too, he’s just in total denial. 
> 
> Sorry that the chapter is so short. The next chapter will mark the beginning of a new arc and Saeyoung will be confronted with his emotions. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	21. Chapter 21

Saeyoung was laying on the couch bored when he entered the chat. At first they talked about random things like Zen’s knew acting role and MC’s latest letter from V. Then Yoosung came in. 

[Yoosung has entered the chat] 

MC: Yo! 

707: Hiya Hey Hey Yoosungie 

Zen: Hi

Yoosung: Hi everyone! 

Yoosung: Seven! I’m glad you’re on! I wanted to ask you something. 

707: Should I be worried? 

Yoosung: Me and my friends were planning a group date together with a bunch of cute girls. 

Yoosung: I was wanting you to come with me as my wing man! 

Yoosung: And Zen can come too as long as he doesn’t steal away all the girls. 

Zen: The girls steal themselves away 

MC: Lovely Zenny is just too beautiful. 

Zen: It’s true. 

Yoosung: Ugh. 

Yoosung: Anyway, can you come? 

707: Yoosung…

707: Group dates aren’t really my thing…

Yoosung: But you could meet your soulmate!

707: I’m not really looking for a partner. 

707: I have my brother and that’s all I need. 

707: Plus I already have a soulmate. Me and Ray have been together since birth. 

Yoosung: But he doesn’t count. 

Yoosung: A brother and a lover are two completely different things. 

Yoosung: And you can’t just not look for a partner just because you already have someone you care about. 

[Ray has entered the chat] 

MC: Ray!

Zen: What’s up man? 

Ray: Hi guys. 

Yoosung: Hi Ray. 

Yoosung: Please Seven! Come on it’ll be fun! 

Ray: What will?

MC: A group date. 

Ray: What’s that? 

Zen: Dude, you don’t know what a group date is?

Ray: Sorry…

707: You don’t need to apologize for that. 

707: A group date is when a bunch of girls and guys get together and go out somewhere to drink and get to know each other. 

707: At the end of there’s someone you like you can exchange phone numbers. 

707: You can also meet friends there. 

Yoosung: Doesn’t that sound like fun? 

Ray: Yeah it does. 

Yoosung: See, Seven!

Yoosung: You’re brother says it sounds fun. 

707: I don’t doubt that they’re fun. I just…don’t really do that type of thing. 

Yoosung: Seven 

Yoosung: I honestly just want to hang out with you again. 

Yoosung: We never get to see each other anymore. 

Yoosung: I miss you… 

707: Yoosung…

MC: I can just imagine the puppy dog eyes. 

707: I don’t want to leave my brother all alone in the house. I can’t explain it right now but I don’t feel like it’s safe. 

Yoosung: Oh!

Yoosung: Why doesn’t Ray just come with us? 

Yoosung: You want to come, right Ray? 

Ray: Well…

Saeran had always dreamed of finding a soulmate, someone who’d love him and accept him unconditionally, and most importantly never leave him. But recently he hasn’t really fantasized about some dream girl, his desires are always satisfied with Saeyoung. 

‘But maybe if I found a girlfriend, my incestuous feelings will go away…’ This thought suddenly occurred to Saeran. 

Ray: Yeah, I want to go. It sounds like fun. 

Yoosung: Yay! 

MC: Yoosung used Brother Attack. 

707: It’s super effective…

707: If Ray really wants to go, then… 

707: Um, Ray, can I talk to you for a moment? 

Saeran came out from his room into the living room. “Yeah, Hyung?” 

“It’s not safe going out in public. Father will be super vigilant especially now and our red hair sticks out like a sore thumb.” Saeyoung explained. 

“But I really want to go. Is there really no way?” 

Saeyoung paused and scrunched his face in thought. ‘Maybe if we wore disguises…’ Yoosung will wonder why they were in disguises, but he could probably come up with some clever lie to cover it up. 

This was risky, however. As much as he wanted to please his brother, his father was not a man to be taken lightly. They’d really have to be serious about changing the way they presented in public. To him, it reminded him of some of the high-risk Agency missions he’d had to wear disguises for. 

In the Agency disguises were all about changing one’s appearance to the best of their ability. Aging them, changing hair color, changing eye color, making them heavier—it was all about adding in and taking away distinguishing features and disappearing completely. 

Saeyoung always had an extra option that the other men in the Agency didn’t have. 

“I think I just figured out a way we can go and play an amazing prank on Yoosung.” Saeyoung grinned. 

707: Fine. We’ll come. 

Yoosung: Can you carpool some of my friends? 

707: I still only have two person cars. 

MC: You can borrow my car. It Can seat five. 

Yoosung: That’s perfect! 

707: Alright fine. Gonna go now, bye guys!

Yoosung: Bye! 

MC: Laterz.

Zen: Bye Seven. 

Ray: Bye. 

[707 has left the chat]

[Ray has left the chat] 

“So what was your idea?” Saeran asked. 

“We can’t go as our true selves so we’ll go in disguise. And we’ll make Yoosung squirm while we do it.” 

“How?” 

“We’ll go as cute girls.” Saeyoung replied. He chuckled evilly. “He’ll be dying of embarrassment. And we’ll have a good excuse for wearing costumes.” 

“You want us to crossdress?” 

“Only if you’re okay with it. I do it all the time so for me it’s normal.” 

“I’m fine with it.” ‘So it’s not the crossdressing itself that embarrassed him, just the nature of that mission.’ Saeran noted. 

Saeyoung smiled. “I bet you’d be really beautiful as a girl. You have paler skin and you’re slightly thinner than me, you’ll have an easier time looking like a woman.” He stopped a moment. “But you’re voice is also a bit deeper than mine. I’ll have to teach you how to lighten the pitch of your voice.” 

Saeran blushed at being called beautiful. He’d always thought those traits undesirable, but it turns out that they can be considered beautiful too. “Alright. It kind of sounds fun.” 

“Great! We can start training after dinner.” 

Saeyoung spent the next week teaching Saeran how to act and sound like a girl. Around a week later, they were ready to take on the group date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of a new arc! Saeyoung has an amazing idea but it backfired majorly lol. I’ll give you a hint: he’s going to get jealous.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	22. Getting Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung and Saeran get ready to go on a group date.

“What do you think of this outfit?” Saeyoung was wearing a lavender blouse with frills at the bust over his torso, a black skirt, and dark stockings. “Cute right?” 

“It looks nice.” Said Saeran. 

Saeyoung lowered the blouse and pouted. “You say that about all the outfits.” 

“That’s because they all look nice.” Saeran said wearily. Saeyoung was having a lot of trouble picking out an outfit for the day. Saeran had settled on a long sleeve pink dress with cream patterns with a skirt that stopped just below his knees, with white stockings to go with it. But Saeyoung couldn’t decide on what he wanted to wear, and was pulling out a seemingly infinite amount of outfits from his extensive closet. 

Saeyoung walked back into the closet and shut the door. He walked back out wearing a white summer dress with bare-shouldered sleeves and a skirt that reached his mid thighs. “How about this one?” He gave a little twirl and the skirt lifted higher than Saeran was comfortable with. 

“Isn’t the skirt a bit short?” Saeran asked. 

“Most girls wear it like that. A lot of the outfits I own have short skirts, and I think they’re super cute. I didn’t realize you were the conservative type.” 

“Well, it’s not that. I don’t really mind it when girls do it. It’s just…” _I don’t want other men to see you_ , was what he wanted to say. “Nevermind. It’s really pretty, you can wear it if you want.” 

Saeyoung studied his face for a moment before speaking again. “I’ll find something else. Maybe I’ll wear this if we go to the beach sometime. But it’s not really the right season for a summer dress.” He stepped back into the closet. 

Saeran sighed and laid back in the couch. He wondered if girls really took this long deciding on an outfit. 

Saeyoung finally came out again. “I really like this one.” It was a loose, long sleeved peach blouse with a white lace Peter Pan collar and a black bow tied in the center of the neckline. It was tucked into a high waisted black skirt that stopped just above the knees. This time he donned thin black stockings underneath. “It’s still a bit short, but I’m wearing tights this time.” He twirled a little to show his brother the black as well. 

“I like it. It’s really cute.” 

“Think so? I like it a lot. I think I’ll settle on this.” He walked into the closet and chose a pair of black kitten heels. “Mhm, I like it a lot. Let’s go put on our makeup now. 

Neither of them had put on their makeup or wigs yet, so they were very plainly men wearing ladies clothing. It looked so strange to Saeran, but Saeyoung went about it casually enough. 

They made their way to the bathroom and Saeyoung pulled out three large cases from under the sink. “This is all my makeup.” He opened it up to show rows of bottles, pallets of eyeshadow, and a variety of lipsticks. “My foundation shade is a tinge too dark for your skin tone, so I ordered a new one for you online. We can share the rest of the makeup. Go ahead and choose your colors.”

Saeran looked over everything spread out on the counter before him. “You have so much…it’s overwhelming.” He looked back up at his brother. “Could you choose for me? You seem pretty good at this.” 

“Alright.” Saeyoung rummaged through everything and selected the products he wanted to use, putting everything else away. “For your eyes, something soft and pink; and for me, something soft and peachy. As for lips, I chose a pink for you and a coral for me. I think these will suit our outfits well enough.” He put down the products and sighed. “Are you sure you’re alright with doing this? We can always stop if you want.” 

This sudden change in attitude surprised Saeran. “Stop? Why would we stop? Is something wrong?” 

“Well y’know…” Saeyoung scratched the back of his neck. “My friends would never do something like this with me. They all thought it was weird that I liked crossdressing and cosplay. So I thought…maybe you’re just being nice or something.” 

Saeran patted his shoulder. “I’m not just being nice. I don’t really understand everything, and I know it’s not normal, but you seem to be having fun, so I like it.”

Saeyoung smiled. “Alright.” He moves Saeran’s bangs from his forehead and clipped them up. “Close your eyes.” 

Saeyoung started with primer, foundation, and concealer applied with a special sponge, then powdered down his face. Occasionally, he explained what he was doing. “Contouring is one of the most important steps to changing into a woman. Men have naturally sharper jawlines, so you contour to soften them.” Sometimes he’d just talk to himself, one of his habits. “A pretty pink blush, yeah that looks nice. Now a soft highlight…” 

Saeran just sat back and let Saeyoung do his work. He enjoyed the gentle touches of the brushes. When came time for eyeliner, Saeyoung leaned in so close that for a second, Saeran thought he was going to kiss him. ‘But of course that’d never happen.’ But still, he felt antsy sitting with his eyes closed with Saeyoung so close to him. He could feel his light breathing as he tried to get a perfect line, and Saeran tried to sit completely still. 

“Alright!” Saeyoung jumped back in excitement. “Just mascara and lipstick, and then you’re done!” The mascara was the scariest part for Saeran, having something so close to his eyes, and he was glad when it was over. Then Saeyoung applied his lipstick and voila! Makeover complete. “Go ahead and look at yourself in the mirror.” 

Saeran turned and saw a whole new person. A girl—and a pretty one at that! When he turned back Saeyoung was grinning like an idiot. 

“You look nice, right?” He said. “I told you you’d make a beautiful girl.” 

“Wow.” Saeran touched his face. “It really is me, huh?” 

Saeyoung nodded. “Mhm. You wait in the living room while I do my makeup. Then we’ll put on our wigs.” 

Saeran waited in the living room for around 20 minutes while his brother did his makeup. 

“Alright. I’m ready!” Saeyoung hopped out of the bathroom and danced to the living room. “How does it look?” He made a cute pose. 

“You look really nice.” Saeran answered. 

Saeyoung giggled. “So do you. Let’s put on our wigs, that’ll really pull everything together. Look,” he took out two wigs, “I bought us matching ones. Identical hair for identical twins. Unless you want something else, I have 72 different colored wigs that you could choose from.” 

“This is perfect. Thanks.” 

“Here I’ll show you how to put on the wig cap. Saeyoung helped Saeran with his wig, then put his own on. “Everything’s finished! Let’s go look in the mirror!” 

Saeran and Saeyoung went to the floor length mirror in the closet. “Wow. We look totally different.” Saeran looked at his reflection, still astonished at the person staring back at him.

“We’re all ready to go! Let’s get our purses ready. Phone, wallet, keys, lipstick, compact. That’s what a girl usually carries with them.” 

They grabbed their purses and were finally out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof uploading frequently again! Hopefully I can keep this up. Comments from you guys help my motivation A LOT so thank you to anyone who comments. This arc is gonna focus a lot on Saeyoung slowly realizing his own feelings. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	23. Chapter 23

Saeyoung sped down the roads. The car felt like it was almost gliding, not even moving. 

“You’re so good at driving.” Said Saeran. 

Saeyoung patted the dashboard of his car affectionately. “It’s the car that’s good. She moves swift like the wind and graceful as a river. But tonight I’ll be leaving my baby at MC’s house, and driving an average car for the night.” 

Saeran knew Saeyoung cared a great deal for his cars, making the fact that he sold most of them for him mean much more. Saeyoung looked so calm behind the wheel, like he could let all his problems fly past him. The wind ruffled through Saeran’s hair from the open roof of the convertible. The evening was young, and Saeran wondered what would happen next. 

“How do you think Yoosung will react to us wearing these outfits?” Saeran thought to ask. He hoped that Yoosung wouldn’t be too angry with them for doing this. It was a necessity for them to be stealthy. 

“Hm, well, in the beginning he’ll be pretty pissed, but he won’t show it in front of his friends. He’ll try to play along so that we don’t get caught. He’ll be embarrassed as hell, too. He always gets this blushy look on his face when I crossdress, _pfft_ , it’s adorable. I’ll show you when we get there.” 

Saeran sat back as they kept at a steady pace, finally slowing down to enter MC’s neighborhood. 

“This should be the place.” Saeyoung parked in the street in front of her apartment. He took out his phone and dialed MC’s number. “Hey MC, we’re here.” He opened the door and stepped out of the car. Saeran followed suit. 

The door of the house swung open and MC came out. “Pfff, _woah_. A hot set of identical twin girls pulling up at my house in a Lambo—is this some kind of weird lesbian threesome dream? Because if so, I’ll have you know I’m loyal to V.” MC held the keys to her car in her hand, a smile on her face. “You’ve told me before that you couldn’t be out in public anymore, but you were still planning on going on the group date. I knew something was up, but I didn’t think that the cutest identical twins in Korea would be showing up at my doorstep.” 

Saeyoung laughed. “Well what can I say? I had to find a way to make things work so my brother could have fun. This was the most best solution.” 

“Yoosung is gonna flip when he sees you two!” 

“It’ll be fun to prank him again. I’ve missed that cute, flustered face of his.” Said Saeyoung. “Plus I got to see how beautiful my brother looks all made up. It’s a win for everyone. Everyone except Yoosung at least.” 

MC finally turned to the younger of the twins. “How are you doing, Ray? I haven’t seen you in a while.” 

Saeran fidgeted. He’d been glad she was preoccupied with her conversation with Saeyoung. He didn’t want to confront these old feelings again. It was awkward, was it just implied that he was no longer in love or should he say something? “I’m fine.” He answered. 

“I see you’re in on Saeyoung’s little prank, how does it feel to be half of Korea’s hottest pair of identical twins?” She grinned. 

“Um…I don’t look that great or anything…” 

“Are you kidding? You look amazing!” MC said. 

It felt nice to have the affirmation from someone other than just his brother. As nice as his unconditional love was, it was hard to know what other people’s opinion on him would be only with his brother’s input. “Thanks.” 

“She’s right Saeran. You look absolutely gorgeous!” Saeyoung affirmed in his normal, cheery way. 

“Alright.” Said Saeran. 

“Anyway, we should get going before we’re late. We still have to pick up Yoosung and his friends.” Saeyoung said. 

“Alright. Here’s my keys. I don’t know if this even needs to be said since your driving is so good, but be careful not to break anything.” MC handed him the keys to her car and headed back to her house. 

Saeyoung twirled the keys around his index finger. “Let’s get going.” 

—-

Saeyoung and Saeran pulled into the apartment complex’s parking lot. 

“I’ll go fetch them. You wait here, okay?” He stepped out of the car. “By the way, I feel the need to mention that I’ll be trying to make him blush throughout the evening.” 

Saeran didn’t entirely know what that meant. “That’s fine.” 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure you were cool with it. It’s all a joke anyway.” The car door closed with a click.

Saeyoung ascended the steps to the story Yoosung’s apartment was on, then rung the doorbell. When the door opened, Saeyoung rushed in and enveloped Yoosung in a hug. 

“Yoosung! I haven’t seen you in so long! How have you been?” 

Saeran sputtered at seeing Saeyoung embrace his friend. When Saeyoung said ‘make him blush,’ he’d thought he meant mild flirting or something. Not physical affection! ‘People hug all the time. I can’t get jealous over something like this.’ All the same, it made heat rise to his face seeing his someone else sharing intimate contact with his brother. 

Yoosung pushed away with full force, not realizing who the woman was at first. His face was beet red. “Hold on, I think there’s a misunderstanding— _Seven??_ ” 

“Mhm. I’ve changed a lot since high school haven’t I? You didn’t even recognize me.” 

“Seven, Why are you…what…???” 

“Yo, who’s this cute girl hugging on you, Yoosung?” One of Yoosung’s friends asked from inside. 

“Yoosung, the group date hasn’t even started and you’re already getting frisky with the girls.” Another said. 

“No! It’s not like that!! I swear! This is…this girl…” 

“I’m his old bestie from high school. I'm here to pick all of you up for the group date.” Saeyoung rescued. 

“I never imagined that Yoosung had a friend this pretty.” 

“Yeah, he was calling you hyung so I assumed you were a guy.” 

Saeyoung wrinkled his nose. “Yoosung, you’re still doing that?” He turned to the other guys in the room. “I was such a tomboy back in high school that Yoosung used to call me hyung as a joke. But Yoo-Yoo, I promise I’m not like that anymore. I’m a proper lady now and everything.” He had an arm draped lazily around Yoosung’s shoulders. “You should call me nuna.” 

Yoosung looked to his friends with panic on his face, then back to Saeyoung. “O-Okay Nuna…” 

“It is sooooo good to see you again Yoo-Yoo. University has been kicking my ass, it’s nice to see a friendly face.” 

“It’s good to see you too hyu—nuna.” Yoosung turned to his friends. “Guys, go ahead and introduce yourselves.” 

“Hello, my name is Chanwoo. I’m a friend of Yoosung’s from English class.” Said a boy with fair skin and glasses. 

“I’m Kangmin. Me and Yoosung have calculus together at university.” He had light brown hair and blue eyes. 

“My name is Lucy. I said it earlier, but I’m an old friend of Yoosung’s from high school.” Saeyoung giggled. “Let’s get going then. My sister’s in the car, we shouldn’t keep her waiting.”

The guys followed Saeyoung to the car. They seated themselves in the back seats while Saeyoung buckled himself into the driver’s seat. 

Saeyoung gestured to Saeran. “This is my sister. Go ahead and introduce yourself.” 

Saeran swallowed his nervousness. “I’m Raina. Nice to meet you.” He’d chosen the name himself, taking cues from his brother and modeling it after a name he already used. 

“You’ll have more time to get to know her later. We should go. It’d leave a bad impression if we were late.” He slid the key into the ignition and turned on the car. Saeyoung pulled out of the driveway and into the streets. 

And then they were off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will get more interesting I promise. They’ll both have such a hard time with this group date lol it’ll be great. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

They pulled into the the parking lot and exited the car. It was a crisp evening, not too cool or too hot. Saeyoung decided that it would be fun to have a walk in the park with his brother with such good weather. Though he’d have fun even in a snowstorm so long as he had his brother by his side. 

Inside the building was dimly lit. Saeyoung could hear pop music playing in the background. They looked around for the table they’d be seated at. There, they found Zen sitting at the table chatting with a couple cute girls. His nose wrinkled at the smell of Zen’s beer, even after all these years he hated the scent. He wondered if his brother felt the same way. 

Saeyoung and Saeran sat down in the booth with the other girls. Yoosung and his friends took their seats at the opposite ends of the table. Chanwoo and Kangmin tried to sit as close to the twins as possible. Yoosung sat next to Zen. 

Zen’s eyes went wide when he saw the twins. He knew Saeyoung and Saeran were supposed to be coming today, and seeing these two twin girls, well, he may not be smart but he could put two and two together. 

“Why are they dressed like that?” He whispered into Yoosung’s ear. 

“I don’t know. I think Seven roped Ray into pulling a prank on me.” Yoosung whispered back. 

“I barely recognized them! If I didn’t already know they’d be here, I would’ve never even guessed…they have no right to look so pretty!” 

Saeyoung chuckled into his hand. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Zen.

707: Don’t blame me if you’re questioning your sexuality. 

707: there’s nothing wrong with liking a guy ;) 

Zen sent Saeyoung a dirty look, then replied. 

Zen: I am not questioning my sexuality!!

Zen: I am 100% straight! 

Zen: How the hell did you even hear me??

707: I can read lips lol. 

Saeyoung laughed and showed his brother the messages. Saeran didn’t seem to get the joke, so Saeyoung had to whisper, “He’s so in the closet he’s already found next years Christmas presents.” Saeran still didn’t totally understand, but smiled anyway. 

“Let’s look at the menu.” Said Saeyoung. He browsed through the selection of items. “Oh look! An ice cream sundae! Want to share one with me, Raina? I shouldn’t have a full one, I should watch my calories.” Truth was, Saeyoung didn’t really care about things like that. But normal girls did, so he had to emulate the sentiment. 

“You don’t need to watch your calories at all. You’re beautiful!” Chanwoo told Saeyoung. 

“That’s sweet of you.” Said Saeyoung. “Maybe just for the night I’ll have a full one.” Damn right was he going to have a full one. 

When the waitress came, Saeyoung ordered an strawberry sundae and a PhD. Pepper. Saeran ordered the same thing but asked for a chocolate sundae instead of a strawberry one. 

Saeran was fidgeting and squirming in his seat. He wasn’t used to all this social interaction, and the new setting made him uncomfortable. 

“So Raina, your sister said that she went to high school with Yoosung, are you two old friends from high school too?” Kangmin asked Saeran. 

“I, um, I…” Saeran fumbled with his words. His heart was racing and he felt like he was suffocating. Suddenly, he felt a warmth envelope his hand. Saeyoung had slid his hand into his from under the table. The comforting presence made him feel like he could breathe again. “No. I only met Yoosung recently. Me and Lucy were separated as teenagers, so I didn’t go to school with them.” He let out a big breath when he finished. 

“This is their first time meeting in person.” Saeyoung picked up. “What do you think of my lovely sister Yoo-Yoo?” He asked. 

Yoosung faltered. “Um…she’s cool. I haven’t really gotten the chance to get to know her…” he blushed and looked away from his best friend. 

“She’s the most wonderful and amazing human being on planet earth.” Saeyoung smiled. 

“Nuna, stop…” Saeran looked down in embarrassment. 

“But it’s true!” Saeyoung nuzzled affectionately into Saeran, who feebly protested. 

“So what kind of things do you two like?” Kangmin asked. 

“Hm, I like programming a lot. I like building things and working with my hands—engineering stuff, really. I work with computers professionally. Hobby-wise I like reading and playing video games in my spare time.” Saeyoung answered. 

“Wow. You must be pretty smart.” Said Chanwoo.

“No not really. I’m really quite normal, I just like computers.” Saeyoung was a genius, but Lucy was just a normal girl. The best lies always had bits of truth in them, but never too much. 

“I’m actually a tech major so we have a lot in common. What do you like about technology?” Said Kangmin. 

“I like how things operate. It’s multiple bits and pieces coming together to create a whole. I love dissecting how things work.”

“I think so too. It’s so fascinating, isn’t it?” Kangmin smiled. “A girl liking video games too, huh? You don’t see that everyday. What kind of games do you like?” Kangmin said. 

“I like LOLOL a lot. I’m pretty good at it too.”

“I play LOLOL too! That’s so cool.” 

“Thanks. Maybe we should play together sometime.” Saeyoung tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear and batted his eyelashes. Kangmin blushed a little and Yoosung went beet red, and turned away once again. 

“What kind of things do you like Raina?” Chanwoo asked. 

“Uh, me? W-well…I like flowers. Like, tending to them and stuff. And I like reading a lot too. I work with computers too, but I don’t enjoy it as much as Nuna does.” 

“I like reading a lot too. And flowers sounds like a nice hobby.” 

Yoosung suddenly interrupted. “Hey Seven, can I talk to you? In private?” 

Saeyoung seemed faintly surprised for a moment. “Uh, yeah Yoosung, sure.” He got up from his seat and walked with Yoosung to the other side of the restaurant. 

“Hey do you think Yoosung is into her?” Kangmin asked Chanwoo. 

“He’s been looking at her and blushing this whole time. He’s totally into her.” Chanwoo answered. “They’re childhood friends right? So they must have some chemistry.” 

“Yeah but I’d be totally jealous of Yoosung if he actually got to date her. You too right? Lucy is so charismatic and chill. Plus she’s into tech, that’s awesome.” 

Saeran turned away and grimaced. He sipped on his drink and tried to pretend he couldn’t hear. He hated listening to these men talk about his brother, and he hated that they implied Yoosung had a chance with him. It was torture to have to hear these things all night. 

“Actually I like Raina.” Replied Chanwoo. “She’s really cute and shy. I like her a lot.” He adjusted his glasses and smiled. 

Saeran’s eyes went wide and he blushed. He was expecting Saeyoung to get a lot of attention, but didn’t think a guy would like him. He shrunk in his seat and sipped on his drink. 

—-

“What did you want to talk about?” Saeyoung asked after being led to the other side of the restaurant. 

Yoosung stood in silence a moment, gathering his thoughts on what to say. “Hyung,” he started, “Why did you do this? I was so excited to be seeing you again, but instead of my best friend I got Lucy. Was it that worth it to prank me? You even dragged Ray into this.” He looked at Saeyoung with a hurt expression. 

“Yoosung…” Saeyoung sighed. “This wasn’t all about the prank okay? Of course I thought this would be funny, definitely, but coming out in disguise was something necessary. Look, I’m only here because Ray wanted to come. I’m putting us in a lot of danger by showing up. I couldn’t come as 707, even if I wanted to.” 

“So you came only for your brother? You didn’t want to come at all?” 

“Yoosung, group dates just aren’t my thing. But Ray said he wanted to come, so I tried to make things work. I can’t hang out with you in real life anymore. I can’t tell you why but I just can’t. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” He waited for his friend to answer, looking down and brushing his hand over his arm uncomfortably. 

“Hyung…isn’t there any way we can hang out? I don’t want to lose you.” 

“It’s better for you anyway if we’re not friends. It’s not a pretty truth, but it’s the truth. We won’t be able to be very close much longer. Just at least enjoy the time we do get to spend together, even if I have to be dressed like this.” He tried to smile. 

Yoosung faltered for a minute, grimacing. Finally, he sighed. “Okay.” 

“That a’ boy! Now let’s get back to the table, if he spend to long alone like this, they may thing we’re doing lewd things.” Saeyoung smirked. 

“Eh?! O-Of course we wouldn’t…I mean…!” His face lit up in red like a traffic light. 

“I’m only kidding. C’mon, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof another chapter of the group date saga! Let’s see where this goes lol. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	25. Chapter 25

Saeyoung and Yoosung arrived back at the table shortly after to find that the alcoholic drinks everyone ordered had arrived (which Saeyoung and Saeran had politely declined). The sundaes Saeyoung and Saeran had ordered had come as well. 

Yoosung was about to sit back in his seat when Saeyoung grabbed him and pulled him into the booth next to him. “Come sit with me Yoo-Yoo! We totally need to catch up it’s been so long since we last saw each other.” He pulled Yoosung’s arm closer to his chest. 

“Seven…Lucy…Stop That…!” 

“Don’t act like such a stranger Yoosung! I’m your old bestie!” 

Saeyoung took a spoonful of his sundae and put it to Yoosung’s lips. “Come on, say ‘ahhhh’.” 

“Whaaa??—“ the spoon was jammed into his mouth. 

“Yummy right?” Saeyoung took a spoonful for himself as well. 

Saeran turned away from the scene and tried to ignore it. He felt like his chest was burning watching his brother be so affectionate with Yoosung. Part of him was hoping that if he looked annoyed enough, Saeyoung would stop. But Saeyoung wasn’t even paying attention to him. He closed his eyes and tried counting in his head. 

“You don’t look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Chanwoo had moved to the seat next to him without him noticing. 

Saeran blushed and looked away. This was the guy that had said he was attracted to him. How could he be anything but embarrassed? “Ah, I’m just feeling a bit uncomfortable…” 

“It’s totally fine. Group dates aren’t my thing either. We got interrupted earlier when we were talking. Tell me more about yourself.” 

Saeran would gladly accept any distraction at this point. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear. “What do you want to know?” He asked. 

“Tell me more about your hobbies. You said you liked reading and tending to flowers right?” 

“Yeah. I like flowers a lot. Nuna built me this really nice garden in our garage. I tend to those flowers everyday. I also go to that garden when I study.” 

“Do you like the language of the flowers?” 

“Yeah. I like the way every flower has a meaning of their own. My favorite is Lily of the Valley. ‘A promise of happiness’ is its meaning.” 

“A promise for happiness. I like that. Very poetic.” 

Saeran listened to Saeyoung laughing at something behind him. He tried to ignore it and focus on his conversation with Chanwoo. “What about you? Do you have any hobbies?” 

Chanwoo explained that he liked reading, particularly things involving biology, which he was majoring in. He also plays violin, but that was more something his parents made him do as a kid than a hobby. “What are your favorite books?” 

They went on talking about the things they’ve read and what they liked about literature. Saeran didn’t know much about biology, but he listened to all the interesting things Chanwoo was saying nonetheless. 

Then Chanwoo started giving some anecdotes on what it was like living at University. Things could get pretty crazy and the stories made Saeran laugh. 

Saeyoung was still enjoying Operation: Make Yoosung Blush when suddenly, his ears picked up a noise behind him. It was his brother’s laugh, a sound he loved a lot. He looked back and saw Saeran laughing at some story one of the guys was telling. Suddenly, he wasn’t having so much fun. 

“Hyu—Nuna, is everything alright?” Yoosung asked after noticing Saeyoung’s sudden silence. 

Saeyoung forced a smile on his face. “Yeah. Everything’s great.” So what if some other guy was making his brother laugh. He should be happy Saeran was making new friends. So why did it leave him feeling so empty? 

He shoveled ice cream into his mouth to drown out his annoyance. But he could still hear Saeran happily chatting next to him. He clenched his toes and tried to ignore it. Not even ice cream could calm him down. 

The evening went on. Saeyoung was no longer happily teasing Yoosung, but instead sulking into his sundae. 

Yoosung had moved back to his seat when it became apparent that Saeyoung was done tormenting him. He turned to Zen, who was taking up the attention of the three present girls with ease. Yoosung tapped the white-haired man's shoulder and leaned over to whisper. “Hey Zen, doesn’t hyung look a bit sad?” 

Zen paused his conversation with the girls and took a second to study Saeyoung, who’d was feigning interest in what the boys across from him were saying. “I don’t know. Does he?” 

“He seemed a lot more excited earlier. Now he isn’t even trying to interact with us.” 

“I didn’t notice anything.” 

“Yeah, well, you’ve got three girls fawning over you. But if you paid a little attention, you’d see it.” 

“I guess. Does this really matter anyway?” 

“He’s your friend!” Yoosung whispered offendedly. “Don’t you care what he’s feeling?” 

Zen sighed. “Look if you’re so concerned, just ask him how he’s doing yourself. 

“I can’t do that in front of everyone.” 

“Just text him.” 

Yoosung nodded his head and took out his phone to text Saeyoung. 

Yoosung: Hey Seven, you feeling okay? 

Saeyoung noticed the buzz of his phone and took it out to read the message. How was he feeling? Did he even know that himself? He looked at it a few minutes before replying. 

707: I’m fine. Why do you ask? 

Yoosung: I dunno you just look a little down. 

Saeyoung paused a moment to think. Was he down? Was something making him sad? If so, what? 

707: I’m just a little tired. 

He did feel quite drained at the moment. All the energy had been sucked out of him by some unknown force. He felt tension everywhere in his body. What was doing this to him? 

Then it hit him like a freight train. He was jealous. He couldn’t stand listening to Saeran talk happily with someone else. He loved listening to his brother’s voice, and he loved when his brother was happy, but right now that voice made the muscles in his stomach clench. 

It was so terrible it made him laugh. “Pfft, god, is that it?” He whispered to himself. The explanation made his shoulders slump. It was just stupid Saeyoung getting possessive. He wasn’t even strong enough to handle his brother socializing like a normal human being. 

It was pitiful. 

Yoosung: Is something funny? 

Yoosung had noticed him snickering and became confused. 

707: Just something stupid. It’s nothing. I’m going to the bathroom. 

He excused himself from the table and headed to the ladies restroom. 

The bathroom was well kept and smelled like fresh vanilla. There was four stalls, three normal ones and a handicap stall. He opened one of the unoccupied stalls and closed the door, locking it. He pressed his forehead against the door and sighed. 

This night was a disaster. Not because anything had gone particularly wrong, but because he’d underestimated his abilities to be a total dumbass. He was getting jealous over the silliest of things, and the feeling was so powerful that it zapped him of all energy. 

Saeyoung stepped to the side and braced his back on the wall behind him. ‘God I’m disgusting. I’m worthless. I can barely function just at the prospect of my brother making friends. What the hell is wrong with me?’ 

If Saeran wanted to make friends, that should be fine. It Saeran wanted to find a lover, that should also be fine. So why wasn’t it fine? 

It was so frustrating he wanted to punch himself. Instead, he just banged his fist on his thigh and bit his lip. 

He wanted nothing more than to go home. ‘But Saeran’s having fun. I can’t just take that away from him.’ So he resolved to just going back out there and suffering in silence. This night couldn’t last forever. ‘Unless Saeran has so much fun that he wants to come back again.’ 

Saeyoung allowed himself a few more minutes of deep breathing. Afterwards, he opened the door again and exited the stall. He walked to the sink and leaned on the white porcelain. ‘I can’t even splash water on my face to perk myself up. I’ll ruin my makeup.’ He stepped away and walked to the exit. 

And back out to the date he went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Saeyoung! He’s no longer having a good time! Well, I’m pretty sure I said earlier that this date would end up hard on him. The real question is will he be able to hide his dismay from his brother. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	26. Chapter 26

Saeyoung forced a smile onto his face when he came back. He gave a little wave and slid back into the booth. He saw with dismay that the last of his ice cream had melted before he could eat it. ‘It’s never as good after it’s melted.’ He thought. He sipped a bit on his PhD Pepper. He needed a little caffeine boost with how the night was going. 

“So Lucy, get this: we were at my friends party, and I got so hammered…” Kangmin recited the story with enthusiasm, laughing at the silliest bits. Saeyoung was sure it was a funny story, but couldn’t bring himself to listen. He laughed along with them anyway. 

He thought back to his own college experience. It hadn’t really been fun, he didn’t allow himself to start having fun until he’d turned 20. It had consisted of attending classes, studying after school, and hacking at night. He didn’t really get to experience the fun college life. 

‘At least I was able to get an education…’ That was a privilege Saeran was never allowed. ‘Maybe he can attend school once we get to France. Or maybe he can take online classes. And I can get a job as a freelance programmer and make us money until he’s finished.’ It struck him then, how had he forgotten? He and Saeran were going to leave everything behind and find a new home together. Suddenly his mood lifted. 

But a new thought struck him. What if Saeran fell in love and decided to stay? To cancel all their plans and start a life with some other girl or guy? His mood plummeted. 

Yoosung was still worried about his friend. He decided to text Saeran, wondering if he’d know something. 

Yoosung: I thnk smthinh is botherng Seven.. 

Saeran felt his phone vibrate and took out his phone. He read the message and had to take a moment to decipher it. 

Ray: Typos ;;;

Yoosung: Sorry, I feel kinda dizzy. 

Ray: What do you mean? Hyung seemed like he was having a lot of fun with you. 

He looked back at his brother. Saeyoung was laughing at something Kangmin had said. He seemed happy enough. 

Yoosung: No just trust me. He looked really depressed earlier. Tho he looks a bit better now ;;; 

On a second glance, Saeran could see that Saeyoung was spacing out a bit. His smile seemed slightly forced. 

Ray: Maybe he’s just tired. 

Yoosung: Maybe… 

Yoosung’s words caused Saeran a bit of worry. But then he thought back to how happy he looked with Yoosung and felt a bit of anger. Saeyoung was busy with other people so why should he worry? The jealousy stung him like a swarm of bees. 

Yoosung: Do you think you can help in any way? 

Ray: I’ll talk to him. 

Yoosung: Thanks. He’s really worrying me. 

Saeran turned to his brother and tapped him on the shoulder, waking him from his thoughts. 

Saeyoung was excited to be getting attention from his brother for the first time that night. “What’s up, Raina?” 

“You seem a bit tired. Are you feeling okay?” Saeran asked. 

“I’m feeling great. Why do you ask?” He forced a smile. 

“Oh I was just a bit worried…”

“Did Yoosung tell you something?” Saeyoung grimaced. “The boy doesn’t know the first thing about me. How would he know what I’m feeling?” Granted, he wasn’t hiding his displeasure very well earlier, so it is very possible for Yoosung to have noticed something. 

“I guess you’re right.” Saeyoung did have a point. 

“How are you doing? Is you’re first group date experience going well?” 

“It’s going a lot better than I expected, actually.” Said Saeran. “I’m having a good time.”

The confirmation that Saeran was having a good time stung. “Really? I’m glad! I’m having a great time too.” In reality he wanted to go home and be alone with his brother. 

“Are you sure you’re not tired? We can go home if you want.” 

Saeyoung sighed. He didn’t want to end Saeran’s night prematurely just because of his selfishness. His brother was having fun, who was he to make it end? “No. Let’s stay awhile. I’m going to go make fun of Yoosung or something.” He turned away and started saying something to his friend. 

Saeran turned back to his conversation as well. 

“I was thinking that maybe next time we throw a party at college, we can invite you?” Chanwoo said. 

“I don’t really know, I’m not much of a party girl…” Saeran responded. 

“Me neither, but it’s good to get out and have fun with friends once in a while.” The waitress came over and refilled his glass of soju. 

“Are you sure you should have another? You’ve had three glasses.” Saeran said, concerned. 

“I’m not gonna be driving or anything. I’m more concerned about you. You haven’t had anything to drink yet.” 

“I don’t really like alcohol.” Similar to his brother, alcohol was ruined for him by their mother. The scent of it naturally put him on edge. 

“Come on, loosen up a bit. Your sister is driving right? It’ll ease your nerves.” 

“I’m really fine.” 

“Suit yourself.” He took another sip of his soju. 

Yoosung himself was nursing his second glass of soju. He was barely drinking age, so he rarely got to drink, meaning that the effects were strong. It made him feel dizzy and slurred his speech. “Y’know hyung, you really are my best friend.” Yoosung said to Saeyoung. “It really hurts me that we no longer hang out.” 

“Yeah, I was hurt too when we lost contact _after high school_ …” Saeyoung tried to remind him of the character he was playing. 

“Yeah but even in the chat rooms we rarely get to speak. I miss you.” 

“That’s because I’m not in the chat rooms. I’m not a part of the RFA so I don’t have access. You’d have to ask that hacker friend of yours.” 

“I wish I could see you without that dress on.” God, Yoosung didn’t even realize how _wrong_ that sentence sounded. “I know I should just be happy I get to see you, but I miss Seven.” 

“Okay, let’s talk in private.” Saeyoung slid out of the booth and dragged Yoosung to the other side of the restaurant. For the second goddamn time. 

“She sounded like a mother about to lecture her child.” Chanwoo joked. 

“Maybe they’re up to something less wholesome. He _did_ say he wanted to see her without that dress on.” Said Kangmin with a wicked grin. 

“Dude—“ 

Saeran was mortified. “Nuna would never do that!” He said, louder than intended. 

“It was just a joke. Sorry Raina.” Kangmin apologized, startled by the sudden outburst. 

Saeran’s cheeks burned, both with anger and embarrassment. 

“You were right the first time.” Zen entered the conversation. “Lucy is probably going to give him a good lecture. That boy really is stupid when he’s drunk, he can’t hold his liquor at all.” 

“He’s really skinny. It’s only natural he’d be a lightweight.” Kangmin said. 

“I hope he doesn’t give Lucy too hard of a time.” 

—- 

“Yoosung you were totally giving me away back there!” Exclaimed Saeyoung once they were in private. “I’m not 707 right now, I’m Lucy!” 

“But I wish I could hang out with Seven!” Yoosung whined. 

“It just isn’t possible! I told you it’s too dangerous! How many times do I have to say it to penetrate that thick skull of yours!” 

“I just don’t get it! What could be so dangerous that you’d hide your entire identity!” He started tearing up. 

Saeyoung sighed. Yoosung was apparently the emotional drunk type. He grabbed Yoosung’s shoulders. “Look, Yoosung, I’ll try to come into the chat room more often. I’m really sorry that we can’t meet in person like you want. But we can still hang out! You started playing LOLOL, right? We could enter on the same server and play together. Doesn’t that sound fun?” He squeezed his friends shoulders. 

“We can do that…?” Yoosung was still new to LOLOL, he didn’t realize he could play with a specific person instead of just guild members and random people you encounter. 

“Yeah, of course we can! We could still play together even if I was all the way across the world.” Which would soon be the case, but he didn’t mention that. “I can show you all sorts of tips and tricks to playing the game. If you get good enough, maybe my guild members will let you join.” 

“Alright. That sounds okay.” He wiped away his unshed tears. 

“Great. Now, _please_ be more careful about what you say. It’s crucial that I stay in character. We can’t let them find out I’m actually a man, alright? Can you manage that?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Alright. Let’s go back, you drunken little mouse.” 

—-

“I’m so lucky to be able to chat with the cutest girl here.” Chanwoo said to Saeran. 

“The cutest…? No, nuna is much cuter than I am.” 

“No, I mean it. You really are the prettiest girl here.” His face was close to Saeran’s, and he could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Your pale skin, your pretty green eyes…” 

Saeran’s heart sped up at the complements. His face flushed with heat. 

Suddenly Chanwoo leaned in to far, causing Saeran to stumble backwards. “Oh no, I…”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…I just…had too much to drink.” 

“What the hell is going on?!” Saeyoung stood in front of the table with Yoosung behind him. “Did you just try to kiss her?!” 

“It was an accident!” Saeran blurted out. 

“Yeah I just had too much to drink…I wasn’t thinking straight.” 

“I have no sympathy for those who don’t understand moderation, especially not with alcohol. Come on Raina, let’s go.” Saeyoung pulled Saeran out of the booth. He turned to Zen. “Zen, make sure Yoosung gets home safely.” 

“Hyung hold on, it really was an accident!” Saeran stumbled to keep up with him. 

They soon exited the restaurant. “Accident or no he shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I know, and he does too! He even apologized.” 

“Saeran, please…let’s just go home.” Saeyoung turned to face his brother. 

Saeran was surprised at how vulnerable his brother sounded. “Okay…we can go.” 

Saeyoung sighed in relief. The stress of the night was still weighing on him, he just wanted to get home and rest. This night had been long. He’d had to deal with his own jealousy, his drunk friend’s whining, the smell of alcohol—this was altogether just not an ideal night. 

They headed back to the car and stepped inside. Saeyoung turned the keys into the ignition and pulled out. He couldn’t even go home straightaway, he still had to return MC’s car and pick up his baby. 

Saeran wanted to break the tension with his brother. He groped in his mind for things to say. “What did you and Yoosung talk about? When you went across the restaurant?” 

The car rode over a bump in the rode, making Saeyoung curse. “The first time or the second time?” The car jerked up again. “I hate riding over roads like this. If the tires bust we’ll know what to blame.”

“Both I guess.” 

“They were pretty much the same. Just Yoosung whining about how much he missed his best friend and wasn’t happy I was there in a dress. Except the second time he was a lot more drunk. Remember when he said he wished he could see me without this dress on? I can’t believe he didn’t realize how bad that sounded.” Saeyoung laughed. 

“Kangmin made a joke about that too after you left.” 

“It was pretty hilarious, in hindsight at least. In that moment it was just concerning how close he was to breaking my character. Zen needs to teach that mousy little boy how to hold his liquor.” 

“Mousy?” Saeran asked in confusion. 

“Yeah mousy. If Yoosung were any animal it’d be a mouse. And I’d be the cat, nya~” he made his hands into fists and posed them like a cat. 

Saeran laughed a little. He was glad his brother was trying to diffuse tension. And he was even gladder still that his brother wasn’t angry with him. “What animal would I be?” He asked. 

“Well, we’re twins so you’d be a cat too.” 

“But I’m not really like you. I’m not playful and clever like you are.” 

“First of all, you’re plenty clever. And second, cats can have different personalities. Some are affectionate and playful and others are quiet and shy. It just depends. But if you won’t take my word for it we can ask MC. We’re pretty close to her house and I still need to pick up my car.” 

After a few more minutes of driving, they arrived at MC’s house. Saeyoung called MC and she came out with the keys to the car. 

“Hey MC, what animals do you think we are?” 

MC laughed. “You two? Definitely foxes. Clever, resourceful, mysterious—Yep, foxes for sure.” 

Saeyoung looked at Saeran. “Maybe I was wrong? I always pictured myself like a cat.” 

“They say that foxes are animals that look like dogs but think like cats.” 

“Interesting. Well, we should probably get going.” 

“Wait!” MC said. “Tell me how the group date went!” 

Saeyoung looked back at her and smiled. “Terrible.” He proceeded to walk Saeran back to the car. 

“Eh?! How come?” 

Saeyoung opened his car door and stepped inside. “You’ll see it on the messenger. Bye-Bye!” He twisted the keys into the ignition of his baby and drove off. 

Saeyoung was glad to be back in a familiar environment. His car was his sanctuary, a good drive in one of his babies always calmed him down. He eased onto the gas and let his baby take him back home. 

They didn’t talk on the way back. Instead, Saeran browsed the messenger while Saeyoung drove. 

[Ray has entered the chat] 

Yoosung: Ray! 

Ray: Are you finally sober?

Zen: he threw up in the parking lot so most of it’s out of his system. But he’s still pretty drunk. 

Yoosung: Yo guys ttally left me! You wre myu ride home! 

Ray: Hyung was angry so we left. 

Yoosung: oh yeah, Chanwoo apologized and paid for your food. 

Ray: I’m not angry, but hyung is a different story…

[MC has joined the chat] 

MC: Seven said the group date was terrible. Explain yourselves! 

Ray: A guy got drunk and tried to kiss me. 

MC: ?! 

MC: Woah legit?! 

Yoosung: Yeah. 

Ray: Also Yoosung got really drunk and almost broke hyung’s cover. 

Yoosung: He shldn’t hav come n a dress!!! 

Zen: Dude ;; typos ;;;

Yoosung: Srry 

Ray: we’re about to arrive home so I’m gonna go. I still have to take off this costume and makeup. 

MC: Kay kay, bye! 

Zen: laters. 

Yoosung: by 

Ray: Bye guys. 

[Ray has left the chat] 

“Ahh, finally home!” Saeyoung sighed in relief as they pulled into the driveway. “It’s been a long night but we’re finally back.” 

“Other than the last part, the group date wasn’t so bad.” 

“Yeah.” Saeyoung lied. It had been full of jealousy and sadness for him. But he was glad nonetheless that Saeran had had a good time. “This makeup is starting to get uncomfortable, let’s get it off.” 

They entered the house and proceeded to remove their costumes. After about twenty minutes, they were finally ready for bed. 

“Sorry about earlier, hyung.” Saeran said as they walked back to his room. 

Saeyoung immediately knew what he was talking about. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. I’m just glad he didn’t kiss you.” 

“Yeah. That would’ve been a weird way to lose my first kiss.” Saeran agreed. 

Saeyoung stopped. “You haven’t had your first kiss either?” 

Saeran turned to face him. “No, I never had the chance to.” 

“I always wanted my first kiss to go to someone I loved, so I never got rid of it even when I had the chance.” Saeyoung admitted. “I wouldn’t want to lose mine to some drunk guy, too…” 

Saeran’s first kiss, it was a queer thought for Saeyoung. On one hand, he wished his brother could have had all the experiences a normal person gets, but on the other hand he didn’t like the thought of his brother kissing anybody. The thought made his insides tangle up. 

“I always wanted my first kiss to go to someone I love too.” Saeran said. 

Saeyoung bit his lip and rocked back and forth on his heels. “You love me, right?” He asked, hesitant. 

“Yeah of course I love you, hyung.” 

“Then here…” Saeyoung leaned in and lightly pressed his lips onto his brother’s. It ended just as quickly as it began. “Now neither of us have to worry about losing it to someone we don’t love.” His cheeks were flushed bright red. As the seconds ticked by without a reply from his brother, Saeyoung grew more and more anxious. “Whelp, we’ve had a long night. Let’s get to bed.” He said the words fast and high strung. He walked quickly past his brother and into the bedroom. 

“Ah, uh, yeah…” Saeran followed after his brother.

The kiss felt like a dream to Saeran. The only evidence of it ever having happened were his brother’s red cheeks and nervous manner. But he found himself longing for another one. 

‘It was just to get rid of our first kisses. It was nothing more…’

But for a second, just for a second, he felt like Saeyoung might like him back, in _that_ way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back with a new chapter! And I’m back with a new fan fiction! It’s felled The Distance Between Us and it’s also choicest. It’s going to have lots of sex lol but it starts out as platonic sex then the romance comes after. It’ll be interesting so go give it a read! But don’t worry, I haven’t gotten tired of Pining. I’ll try to alternate updates. I love them both so I’ll update as frequently as I can!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	27. Chapter 27

‘I can’t believe i did that…’ Saeyoung thought, lying awake in bed. ‘I can’t believe I kissed him…! I was never supposed to act on those impulses! And yet…’ he beat at his head with his hands. ‘I’m such an idiot!’ 

Saeran laid beside him fast asleep. Saeyoung was too frustrated to even be smitten with his brother’s face. 

When sleep finally did overtake him, he found it peaceful and uninterrupted. It was a dreamless sleep. He woke up to an empty bed and assumed his brother was making breakfast. ‘Or avoiding me…’ He thought glumly. 

He threw the sheets off of him and stepped out of bed. He could faintly smell meat coming from outside. He left his room and made his way toward the kitchen. He smelled bacon cooking on the stove, and eggs in another pan. 

“Saeran.” He called. “How did you sleep?” 

“I slept well. You?” Good. It didn’t seem like his brother was avoiding him. 

“I slept good too.” Saeyoung answered. 

“Do you want breakfast?” Saeran asked. “It’s almost ready.” 

“Yeah, sure. I’ll go sit at the table and wait.” 

Saeran finally finished and served breakfast and they sat down together at the table to eat. 

‘Does he even remember what happened?’ Saeyoung wondered, as he bit into his toast. There was no indication of it. Except once, when Saeran’s gaze lingered on his brother’s lips until he looked away, blushing. 

He decided that maybe if they just don’t speak of the kiss, it’ll go away. It was a stupid hope, but he clung to it nonetheless. 

The rest of breakfast was innocuous. They are their meal with some small talk and that was it. Afterwords, Saeyoung went on the messenger app. Yoosung, Zen, and MC were on. 

[707 has joined the chat]

707: What’s up, guys? 

Zen: Yoosung has a hangover. 

MC: The poor boy has never gotten drunk before lol. 

Yoosung: I probably wouldn’t have drunk half as much if my best friend hadn’t shown up in a dress and teased me the whole evening! 

707: Lol someone’s still salty. 

MC: Him showing up in a dress was the prank of the century. 

Zen: It was just weird. 

MC: He is a beautiful woman. 

707: Thank you, MC. 

[Ray has joined the chat] 

MC: Hiya hey hey 

Ray: Hi. 

707: Hey that’s my thing. 

707: Hiya hey hey, little bro. 

Zen: Isn’t he only like a few minutes younger than you? 

707: More like an hour. 

707: It makes no matter. He’ll always be my cute little brother <3 

Saeran was glad Saeyoung would still accept him after all he’s been through and how he’s changed, but he didn’t know how he felt about the ‘little’ part. 

707: The light of my life

707: The dearest to my heart 

707: The air that I breathe 

Saeran blushed. 

Zen: We get it. 

Zen: Quite spamming your brotherly love. 

MC: I for one think it’s adorable and fully support the love spamming 

707: How could I not spam my love for him? It’s too powerful! 

MC: All bow down to the brotherly love! 

Zen: (Zen annoyed emoji) 

Zen: Some if us have better things to do than watch Seven boast his ‘soulmate from birth’ or whatever. 

707: Like talk about how beautiful you are. 

Zen: Exactly. 

707: (707 annoyed emoji) 

707: Your narcissism is hardly a better conversation topic than my brotherly love. 

Ray: It’s kind of embarrassing though, hyung…

707: Aw sorry, I’ll dial it back if it makes you uncomfortable. 

Dammit! It was a bluff! Saeran actually loves it when Saeyoung talks about how much he loves him. 

Ray: Thanks. 

Yoosung: Seven you said something about playing together on LOLOL, how do we do that. 

707: Give me a call and I’ll explain the steps to you. 

Yoosung: Let’s do it now! 

707: I thought you were hungover? 

Yoosung: But I want to play with you!!! 

707: Fine fine you needy little boy. 

707: I’ll go get on my pc and we can play for a while. 

Yoosung: Yay! 

707: Bye everyone! 

[707 has left the chat]

[Yoosung has left the chat] 

MC: And then there was three. 

Zen: So ominous lol. 

Ray: I’ll get going too. 

Ray: I have to go tend to my garden. 

Ray: Bye guys. 

MC: Bye!

Zen: Bye. 

[Ray has left the chat] 

In reality he was going to study his French. He had been neglecting his studies in favor of learning how to be a girl, so he hasn’t opened his textbook in weeks. 

He sat down at the kitchen table with his textbook and notebook and flipped to the bookmarked page. He took notes and tried to summarize each section, studying as carefully as he could. Saeyoung had said he was doing really good, and they could probably start conversational French in a month or so. 

Suddenly, his focus was broken. Laughter echoed from his brother’s room. ‘He’s really having fun with Yoosung…’ Saeyoung wouldn’t admit it but the two were closer than they seemed. ‘Saeyoung was having a great time with him at the group date too.’ 

He felt bad about being so jealous of them. He knew he should be happy for his brother, that he has such good friends, but something inside him always ached when his brother was with someone else. 

Saeran’s focus kept unconsciously drifting to them, so he decided to take his studying to the garage garden. He always felt a little calmer surrounded by his flowers. Plus, it was a constant reminder of Saeyoung’s love and affection for him. He flipped back into his book and got some studying done. 

Saeyoung was at his PC playing LOLOL with Yoosung. “Okay so I’m going to put down some items for you. Change into that armor. We’re gonna go hunting for some monsters to level you up a bit. Then we can go on some quests.”

“I can’t believe you’re the #1 player in the entire world.” Yoosung said in amazement. 

“Yeah well, what can I say? I’m just good at video games. Oh I never got to ask, did any of the girls text you from the group date?” 

“No but Zen got messages back from all of them.” 

“Of course.” 

Yoosung sighed. “I really wish I had a girlfriend. Then we could go on dates together and learn about each other. I have this fantasy that we could start off as friends, then slowly get to know each other. And some day, the line between friend and lover starts to blur. Then you start dating that person.” 

“You’re such a romantic. I see that trope a lot in shoujo manga.” Said Saeyoung. 

“You read shoujo manga too? I thought I was the only one.” 

“Yeah of course I do. Romance is great. I also read classic romance novels like Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters.” 

“I’ve never heard of them.” 

“They’re English. I learned about them in America. I read the books in English, but you could probably pick up the translated version.” 

“Maybe. Ahhh I really wish I had a girlfriend, or at least friends that were girls! I didn’t have a romantic life in high school, I still haven’t even had my first kiss, or my first love for that matter.” Yoosung said. “Have you ever been in a relationship, hyung?” 

“No I’ve never been in a relationship.” He’s never been able to, as an agent, else he’d put his love in danger. 

“So you haven’t had your first kiss either?” 

Saeyoung froze. He thought back to the kiss he’d shared with his brother just the day before. He blushed. “N-Nope. Never had one.” He lied. 

“So we’re forever-alones together, huh?” 

“I guess so.” Saeyoung laughed nervously. “Oh, go for that monster, that’s easy points.” He changed the subject quickly. 

He spent the rest of the day playing games with Yoosung until he decided to go make dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter of Pining! Wow, I’m on an updating roll! Hopefully I’ll post again in another few days. 
> 
> Thank you all for leaving supportive comments! I’m sorry I’m so slow to answer them, but I really appreciate them! They keep me going and my motivation running high for more frequent updates! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	28. Chapter 28

[707 has joined the chat] 

MC: Seven! 

MC: Guess What!

707: What What? 

MC: The party date’s been set! 

MC: It’ll be in a month! 

707: Ooh MC’s first real party. 

707: I’m excited 

Zen: I’m sure she did a fantastic job. 

Yoosung: She’s worked so hard these past months. 

707: I’m sure the party will be lit af. 

MC: Lit and elegant. 

707: At the SAME TIME. 

MC: Yeet! 

Yoosung: I never understand what you two are saying. 

Zen: They speak a language of their own. 

MC: It’s called the language of best friends. 

Yoosung: What?! 

Yoosung: Seven me and you need to make a language! 

Yoosung: ‘Cause we’re best friends too! 

MC: You don’t ‘make’ a language. 

MC: It happens on its own. 

Yoosung: Then why don’t we have one? 

MC: Maybe…you just aren’t best friends.

Yoosung: ?! 

707: Omg MC you’re bringing this back up again. 

Yoosung: We are SO best friends! 

Yoosung: I knew Sevn WAY before ypu 

707: typos. 

Yoosung: Right Seven?

707: Uh haha…

707: MC’s right we don’t have a language…

Yoosung: WHAT?! 

Yoosung: No way! 

Yoosung: We’re best friends!

707: I’m kidding Yoosung. Yes we’re best friends. 

Yoosung: GOOD. 

MC: Aw you ended the joke too soon. 

707: He’d just whine the whole time. 

MC: Yeah that’s the point! 

707: If you want to hear him whine just get him drunk. 

707: he’ll spill everything that way. 

MC: Anyway the party is in a month. 

MC: So start getting ready for it! 

707: You got it, dude. 

MC: Omg Full House. 

707: You understood that American reference? Nice. 

707: I’ll go tell Ray about the party date. Bye bye my guys. 

MC: Bye!

Yoosung: Bye Seven! 

Zen: Don’t do anything weird for the party. 

[707 has left the chat] 

Saeyoung put down his phone and stood up from the couch. He strode over to the garage where he knew his brother was watering his plants, as he does every day. 

“Saeran!” He called out. “Guess what? The party date’s been set!” 

“Really?” Saeran put his watering can down on the nearby table. “That’s great. When is it?” 

“In a month. We better start getting ready for it. You still need to pick out a suit. I’ll need a new one too.” Saeyoung said. 

“Are we going suit shopping then?” 

“I don’t like that we have to go into town at such an unsafe time, but if it’s just for one day I’m sure it’s fine.” He hoped that that decision wouldn’t get them killed. “Do you want to go tomorrow?” 

“Sure.” Saeran paused a moment. “Am I really invited to the party?” 

“Of course! You’re our new member. Why wouldn’t you be invited?”

“Wasn’t I the reason the last party was cancelled?” 

“Rika was the reason the last party was cancelled. Don’t blame yourself. Anyway, everyone forgave you already; you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Alright.” Saeran smiled. 

Saeyoung’s eyes lit up and he grinned. He walked to his brother and glomped him into a big hug. “Aww you have the most beautiful smile ever~” he shook his brother with each syllable. 

“Hyung, come on.” Saeran laughed. 

The rest of the day went innocuously. 

They woke up the next day and had a breakfast of homemade pancakes, made by Saeran, with lots of syrup (which Saeyoung ate with delight). Saeyoung promised to do the dishes in return for the delicious pancakes. 

“Saeran, were going to need to be careful today when we go into town. Sadly we have very unique features. Namely, our red hair. What I’m thinking is that we wear wigs, and only take them off when we’re alone in the dressing room. Next we have our names. I’ll call you Ray while we’re out and you call me Luciel or Seven, or just hyung if you don’t want to use any of my aliases.” Saeyoung said after they finished their food. 

“Okay.” Saeran replied. 

“Also, can I put a tracking device in your pocket? Please? It would make me feel much better if I knew where you were at all times.” Saeyoung clasped his hands together in a begging position. 

The idea of a tracker in his clothing made Saeran a little uncomfortable. It felt a bit like he was being babied. Didn’t his brother trust him to be safe and stay by his side? “You know I’m not going to get into some strange man's vehicle or walk down any seedy alleyways, don’t you?” 

“I know that.”

“Then why are you asking to put a tracker in my clothes. Parents don’t even do that to their children! You know I’m not a stupid, right?” 

“It’s not about being stupid, Saeran. I know you’re smart enough to stay out of trouble, but no amount of smarts can keep trouble from coming to you. If you get taken, I’ll be able to track your location with my phone. That way I can come rescue you.” Saeyoung explained. 

“But you’re in danger of getting taken too! What if you get taken, what’s your plan for that?” Saeran crossed his arms. 

“I’ll find a way to escape.” 

“That’s it? That’s all of your plan?” 

“Hey, before we reunited my plan would’ve been to roll onto my belly and give up, and pray I get into heaven. This is character development for me.” 

“Hyung, Why aren’t I in your plan at all? You wouldn’t want me to come rescue you?” Saeran asked, slightly hurt. 

“You’d put yourself in danger by doing that.” 

“Saeyoung, I promised I’d take care of you, remember? You belong to me, so I have to protect you. You’re mine, just as much as I’m yours. Let’s protect each other.” 

Saeyoung sighed. “So, what are you proposing?” 

“You put a tracker in your clothes too. That way I can come rescue you if you’re taken.” Saeran said firmly. 

It was an easy enough demand. Chances are, with the disguises and aliases, they wouldn’t get caught. Saeyoung already knew he was being over cautious. But it never hurt to have a plan B, just in case. If this would get Saeran to agree to the tracker, it was worth it. 

It did feel nice for Saeran to tell him he’d rescue him if push came to shove. 

And that Saeran was his as much as Saeyoung was Saeran’s. 

Basically, his heart was filled to the brim with love.

“Okay. That sounds fine.” Saeyoung paused to gather his thoughts. “You’d really come rescue me if I were taken?” 

“Of course!” Saeran replied without missing a beat. “I don’t want to lose you ever again.” 

Saeyoung rocked back and forth in his seat. “Mmm, alright.” He couldn’t suppress a small smile from plastering itself onto his lips. “That’s enough talk, let’s hurry and get dressed to go.” 

And so, they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter they’ll go suit shopping! This chap is a bit boring but they’ll have fun shopping next chapter. 
> 
> Also lol Saeyoung saying that not giving up and dying is character development killed me to write. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	29. Chapter 29

Saeyoung and Saeran finished their dressing and put their wigs on. They made their way to the car and seated themselves. Saeyoung turned the keys into the ignition and sent them off. 

They could feel the weather well since the car Saeyoung drove was a convertible. The air was crisp and filled their lungs with a feeling of refreshment. They had a nice view of the sky around them, which was a clear blue with fluffy clouds drifting about. It was a nice day and the brothers were feeling good. 

Saeyoung was the first to break the calm silence. “What kind of suit are you wanting?” 

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” 

“You don’t have to worry too much about the cost. We have enough in the budget to cover it.” Though they were saving money at the moment, it was fine to indulge yourself once in a while. 

Saeran took a moment to think about his suit. He remembered his suit from mint eye but he didn’t really want something similar to that. Rika had chosen that suit for him, but now he wanted to choose for himself. He found, however, that he lacked ideas. He decided to ask his brother what suit he’d be getting in hopes that it might inspire him in his choice. “Do you have a suit in mind?” 

“I have a few ideas, yeah. I think I know what color I want at least. And the fit and size. Obviously I want something that’d look good on me. I also want it to be fun and stylish enough for a party.” 

“What were you thinking?” 

“For the basics I was thinking a slim fit since I have a slim build. I was thinking of going three-piece this time. I generally like how single breasted suits look on me if I were to go with a coat. Something with a vent would allow for more movement and breathing space, which will be nice since we’ll be standing a lot. That’s the basics that I think will look good on me I guess.” 

“Any ideas for color?”

“Hm, I went black and white last year so I think I’ll use color this year. I want something that’ll pop so i was thinking about using complementary colors to go with my natural features. I’ve got red hair but I don’t know what I think about a bright green suit, haha. I was thinking about matching it to my eyes. For gold, it’d be a purple-ish navy. That should bring out the color of my eyes.” Saeyoung explained. 

“That’s a cool idea! Maybe I should do that too.” They had different colored eyes now so the suits would look different in the end. “What’s the complementary color of mint?” 

“I think it’s pink.” 

Saeran liked the color pink a lot. He always thought it was pretty. “Do you think a pink suit would look good on me?” He asked. 

“I think it’d look great!” Granted, he’d think anything looked great on his brother. 

“Okay. I think I’ll go with that.” 

“Sounds good.” It was nice for them to have a similar theme to their clothing. It was like they were still matching, even though the suits would look different. 

Not much later, they arrived in town. Saeyoung navigated to the shop he’d gone to to get his previous suits. Generally they had good quality there and reasonable prices, so he liked the place. 

They exited the car and walked into the shop. There was a wide array of suits hanging on the racks in many different colors. Some mannequins were posing in suits in the shop windows. It was a clean shop, no trash in sight on the orange tile floor. It wasn’t busy today, and there were few customers in the building. A shop attendant sat at the check-out desk on her phone. 

Saeran and Saeyoung set out to find a suit that matched what they wanted in their heads. They searched through the store and selected potential options. They met at the dressing rooms when they found what they wanted. 

They went into the largest dressing room stall and closed the doors. 

“Let’s try on our clothes.” Saeyoung said, pulling off his wig. 

They both set to changing out of their normal clothes. Saeran watched Saeyoung strip with simultaneous envy and arousal. Saeyoung had a surprising amount of muscle mass, courtesy of working at the Agency for so long. He’d only gotten more defined now that he was eating healthier. ‘He’s so handsome…’ Saeran thought. 

Little to his knowledge, Saeyoung thought similarly about him. He thought Saeran was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. He was proud to have such a lovely brother. 

They finally finished changing into their suits. Saeran had a manilla vest over a white shirt, with an unbuttoned pink jacket over it, with matching pink pants and tie. Saeyoung sported a black vest over a white shirt, with a navy coat, pants, and tie. The coat and pants were patterned with black leaves all over, making it more unique and fitting for a party. 

“How do I look?” Saeyoung posed in his outfit. 

“Wow, hyung you look so cool!” Saeran exclaimed and Saeyoung grinned. “How…how do I look?” Saeran asked shyly. 

“You look fantastic! That suit really, well, suits you!” He laughed. 

Saeran smiled. “So I should wear this to the party?” 

“If you like it, then yeah definitely!” 

Saeyoung’s enthusiastic response calmed down Saeran’s insecurities. “Alright.” 

“What about me? Should this officially be my party suit?” Saeyoung asked. 

“Definitely. It looks great on you!” 

“Heheh, thanks. Alright then, let’s pay and get back home.” 

They took the suits off again and donned their original attire, putting their wigs back on and adjusting them to look like real hair. 

They walked to the check-out counter. The lady sitting there put away her phone when she saw them approaching. They put their suits on the counter for the lady to scan. 

“Did you find everything you needed today?” The check-out lady asked. 

“Yes, thank you.” Saeyoung responded with a smile. 

She scanned their items and put those big plastic bags around them. “That’ll be $358.32.” 

Saeyoung pulled out his wallet and took out $400. He handed her the money. “Just keep the change.” He said. 

“Alrighty.” She put the money into the register. “Here’s your suits, have a nice day.” 

They took the suits by the hanger and brought them back to the car. They stuck them in the back seat and took their places in front. “That was kind of fun, wasn’t it?” Saeyoung said. 

“Yeah, it was. We should go shopping more often.” 

“We can go as much as you want once we’re out of the country, and we won’t have to wear wigs too.” 

Saeran didn’t know how much longer it’d take for them to leave, but he decided he could wait any amount of time if it meant having more outings like this with Saeyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha new chapter! I promise things will heat up soon. Actually, they’ll heat up a lot. We’re nearing the end of Pining. That won’t be the end of the series though, I’ll write other stuff about them going on dates and having fun in places in France. Also the RFA will visit them at some point! I have everything planned out. 
> 
> I chose a pink suit for Saeran mainly because he wears so much pink in the official Cheritz art. He looks really cute in pink outfits so I thought why not put him in a pink suit. I think he also wore a pink suit to V’s after ending party if I’m remembering correctly. 
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading!


	30. Chapter 30

It was the day of the party. Saeran and Saeyoung were driving to the venue. Saeyoung pulled over and they stepped out of the car. They were coming a bit early, as per MC’s request. She wanted them to come early to help out with setting up. The twins were going to help with the technical stuff, just making sure everything was in proper working order. 

“I feel kind of nervous.” Saeran admitted. He played with the buttons of his coat. 

“That’s normal. This is only your second time meeting them, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah. I talk to them all the time, though.” 

“Yeah but communicating through text is a lot less stressful than talking in person.” 

They pushed through the door and entered the building. It was the same venue as the old parties, so the background was familiar to Saeyoung. There were tables laid out in rows for guests to sit, covered by a pristine white tablecloth with a lovely flower arrangement in the center. The other half of the room was empty, a floor for the guests to mingle. To their left stood a table with many glasses of champagne arranged on it. On a second table, there was a wide assortment of snacks and other refreshments laid out. 

“Oh! You guys are finally here.” MC walked up to them, the sound of her high heels echoing with her steps. She was wearing a floor length red dress with a slit at the side of the leg. “The doors officially open in 10 minutes. God, I’m so nervous. I know I’m being paranoid, but could you guys check the lighting and music one last time?” She asked. 

Saeyoung and Saeran made sure everything was perfect. The party finally began. Guests were standing and mingling while waiters walked around serving champagne and crackers. They greeted the guests they had invited. Saeran was surprised to see the ice cream worker he’d suggested to MC. He didn’t think she’d actually invite him. He got to strike up a friendly chat with him while Saeyoung talked to C language and reminisced over past coding experiences. 

Yoosung found them and gave Saeyoung a big hug. “Seven, you’re here! And not in a dress!” 

“I know, isn’t it disappointing? I have so many pretty gowns but I had to settle for this suit in the end.” Saeyoung replied. 

“I like you better like this—with no costume.” 

“And I like you better when you’re not whining. Ah, but it’s fun to watch sometimes. Waiter!” Saeyoung flagged a waiter down. “This boy is in desperate need of an alcoholic beverage.” 

“Don’t get him drunk. I’m the one that’s going to have to deal with that later.” Zen said. 

“Well, hello to you too, lovely Zenny.” Saeyoung greeted. “What’s it like being the second most beautiful person here?” 

“Second?! Who’s the first?” Zen asked. 

“My brother wins on all accounts! You’ll have to settle for second, lovely Zen.” Saeyoung enveloped Saeran in a large hug. “Just look at how beautiful he is in his pink suit!” 

“Hyung, stop that. I’m not more beautiful than Zen.” Saeran said, embarrassed. 

“You’ll always be the most beautiful to me~” Saeyoung cuddled into him and laughed. 

“There’s the brocon we all know and love.” MC came over. “Is everybody enjoying the party?” She asked. 

“The party is perfect. Classy, but not overwhelming. Perfect for our high class guests and those of more common birth. You’ve done a wonderful job, party coordinator.” Saeyoung said. 

“Yeah, MC. This party is amazing!” Yoosung added. 

“Well, what can I say? I couldn’t have done all this without everyone’s guest suggestions.” MC said. 

“And here comes the mother of cats!” Saeyoung exclaimed as Jumin entered their vicinity. Jaehee was walking right behind him. 

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me that.” Jumin said. 

“I’d appreciate if you let me see my darling Elly.” Saeyoung retorted. 

“Oh? I thought you were content fawning over your brother. It seems you aren’t satisfied with what you have.” 

“I am perfectly content with Ray, thank you very much, and how dare you suggest otherwise.” Saeyoung said, quickly heating with annoyance. 

“Now, now, boys. Let’s not start any fights over significant others at the party.” MC patted them both on the shoulder. 

“I can’t believe you’d frame him as ‘significant others’ with his cat.” Zen said. 

“You have more problems with that than me framing Seven’s brother as his significant other?” MC asked. 

“At least they’re the same species.” Zen retorted 

“Yeah, to the exact strand of DNA.”

“I find the description of ‘significant others’ to be oddly fitting for both these cases.” Jaehee added, and everybody laughed. 

“I haven’t had this much fun in a long time.” MC said. “I wish V was here.” 

“I’m gonna have to punch V when he gets back for making a girl wait so long. He’s still sending you letters, right?” Saeyoung asked. 

“Yeah, I just got one recently. He’s doing good. He’s off learning to paint and seeing new things. I don’t really mind waiting for him, as long as he comes back feeling better.” MC said. 

“Ah, you’re an angel, MC.” Zen said. “V really struck gold with you.” 

MC laughed. “Thanks.” 

Jumin broke off from the group to the table where champagne was being served. 

“That damn alcoholic, leaving without a word.” Zen crossed his arms. 

“Now, now. I know you two are cats and dogs, but you need to get along tonight.” MC scolded. 

“Don’t even say the ‘c’ in ‘cat’, ugh.” Zen said. “It makes me want to sneeze.”

“I have to agree. I don’t even want to think about cats right now.” Jaehee said. 

“Oh come on,” Saeyoung said, “cats are wonderful creatures. They’re so soft and fluffy and wonderful. Right, Saeran?” 

Saeran was surprised to be brought into the conversation. “Ah, yeah. I haven’t been around cats much but they seem nice and they’re very cute.” 

“They may be cute but they leave fur everywhere.” Jaehee said. 

“And they make my beautiful face puffy.” Zen added. 

“Damn narcissist. I need a drink if I’m going to listen to all this slander about Elly. Do you want anything, Saeran?” Saeyoung asked. 

“No, I’m fine.” Saeran replied. 

Saeyoung made his way over to the table that held champagne glasses. He picked one up and began to walk back to his friends. 

What he saw when he turned around nearly made his heart stop. The champagne glass fell from his hand and shattered on the floor. The object of Saeyoung’s terror, standing right across the room, was none other than his own father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m soooooo so sorry for making you guys wait so long! It’s been over a month since I posted the last chapter! Gah, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll do better! I just had like no motivation to finish the chapter until today. I really love writing this for y’all so I’ll try to update more frequently. Love y’all! Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhh the next fic in the series! I was so worried that I’d lose my motivation and give up halfway through reconciliation, but all your supportive comments made me excited to post each new chapter! I’m really happy that people like my fic and are so nice about it! 
> 
> Reconciliation had a very angsty tone to it, this one will have much more fluff and comfort with an overall lighter tone. There’s still gonna be angst tho obviously lol. I hope you’ll enjoy it! 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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